You Got Ghosted!

We are part of a fun new tradition in New Jersey. Ghosting.

It isn't new to this area, but it is the first year we are part of it.

When I grew up, I recall "knicky knicky nine doors." Kids knocked on a door while yelling this chant, then ran away, hoping not to get caught. I recall it was more of a prank than a fun activity, at least for the family in the house. When I was young it felt scary to have some strange kids running around our house and hiding.

Not fun.

Ghosting is different. Friends of my children choose a few houses to deliver a small bag of candy to the front doorstep, often with a note such as, "YOU'VE BEEN GHOSTED!! Roses are red, violets are blue. Ghosts are white and they scare you! Pass this message on and we'll spare you!"

They quietly approach the door, while their parent waits in the car a house or two away. They leave the candy, ring the doorbell, and RUN!

The next day, children giggle and whisper, wondering who did the ghosting, and who was ghosted.

After we were ghosted a couple times, our children begged us to do the same. So this past weekend, all four of us dressed in black, and delivered four bags of candy, with a note, to four friends' houses. Each of our children took turns sneaking up to their friend's door, ringing the bell, then running as fast as they could (except if there were stairs) back to the car.

All four of us giggled and whispered as we drove away, four "kids" having a good time, delivering smiles and more giggles to new friends.

And there was nothing scary about it. Just fun.

Radda-In-Chianti, Italy

Countryside from Radda

Radda-in-Chianti, Italy still holds fond memories from our trip. You may be enamored with it too! My guest blog appears on Travelated. "http://travelated.com/an-ancient-village-with-modern-flavors-radda-in-chianti-italy"

Hesitate to Jump for Spontaneous Joy?

Joy.

Experience Joy

Bring joy into your life and all else will fall into place. I truly believe that.

Do you wish to:

• Connect more to your children? Play joyfully with them.
• Find the job of your dreams? Go with the occupation which brings you most joy.
• Create closer relationships? Drop the worries and complaints and focus on the joy in your life.
• Connect to universal consciousness/god/source/inspiration? This is easier to do when you consciously feel love, and joy is a powerful emotion based in love.

I know what the answers are, so why do I personally find it so difficult to take the leap into joy on a regular basis?

I believe I've found the answer to that one.

As a parent of young children (7 & 9) I have taken on the serious role of guiding, teaching and role modeling proper behavior, decision making, thoughtfulness and responsibility. I believe this prepares them for life as they grow older. Where does JOY fall into this? My children laugh all the time. They find the smallest events to giggle about. Sometimes they even start to laugh just for the sake of laughing, and when the other follows, their laughter erupts into pure JOY. I don't HAVE to role model spontaneous joy, as they were born knowing that one.

What else?

Spontaneous Joy is about letting go of worries, concerns, habits and control. I think it is the last one that gets to me. What will happen if I lose control? Will I be a bad example for my children? Will the responsive laughter remind me too much of childhood teasing? While I think I'm over that last one, maybe somewhere, deep in my subconscious, it has a role in my decision to maintain control.

These two "answers" seem logical, but spontaneous joy is not about logic. It is about love - for the moment, for those around me, for myself. It is the key to a more fulfilling life.

What is keeping you from experiencing more spontaneous joy? Is the underlying belief really necessary, or even truthful? Can you let go of it?

Now that I've found my answers, I believe I can.

Overwhelmed by Distractions?

Do you ever feel that there is so much to do, you feel like you're spinning in circles, never really accomplishing anything?

I have days like that. Sometimes I have weeks like that.
 Writing. Submitting. Building a platform. Learning how to build a platform. Mommy duties. Homeowner duties. Dog owner duties. Volunteering. And...

Squeeze in time for my husband. If ANY time is left over, I give it to me. However, me time usually gets lost.

With so much to do, I focus on my to-do list. I get immense satisfaction ticking items off that list. So much, so that I actually keep my completed lists in a file. Call me crazy. However, when I feel like I'm spinning in circles, revisiting the activities I completed helps remind me that I do complete things, even if I don't feel it.

However, I know I can be more productive, and feel more satisfaction from my activities.

The Problem is Distractions

What is the real problem? Distractions. Facebook, twitter, Linked In... to interact, post, and share. There are some very interesting people I am friends with, or that I follow, and who follow me back. I am supposed to interact with them. But I get drawn into their stories. I investigate their blog links, books for sale, photos and great articles that may teach me something. An hour later I am still there.

Another distraction? My garden. We moved into a house that had a very "natural" garden (read: weeds). The previous owners took care of it, but I've never seen so many weeds grow so quickly. Must be the east coast humidity.

"Just five minutes to pull those weeds," I say. Half an hour (or an hour) later I've pulled weeds, watered my tomatoes, fertilized a dying patch of grass and thrown more grass seed on a bare patch. I almost get out the shovel so that I can transplant a rhodadendron from underneath a large bush to somewhere it can thrive, but I realize that I've already spent too much time gardening and must get back to my computer.
These distractions happen to be fun, interesting or simply satisfying. However, they do not get me closer to my goal: publication.

How to Minimize Distractions?

1. Schedule important activities. If they get you closer to your main goal, they are important.
2. Schedule free time. For me this includes gardening, jogging with my dog, coffee with a friend or yoga. Though none of these lead me to my primary goal, they are healthy, help me to focus, and keep me happy. A happy Mom is a good thing for my children.
3. Schedule online time. And stick to it! This is my biggest time drain because I know I should be there, I enjoy being there, but my social media goal is rather fuzzy (as it is to many, as social media continues to transform).

My children thrive on schedules as well, though they don't specifically ask for them. When they know that homework is right after school, and playtime is until 6:00pm dinner, life flows happily for them...and for me.

Chopra Center Meditation

When you feel overwhelmed, out of sorts, and pressured by too many things to do all at once, sometimes the best step to take is one solely for yourself.

Find 15 minutes in your day to tune in to the Chopra Center Meditation . It is a 21 day program, no cost. It officially started October 11, 2010, but you can access past meditations on the site. The benefits to each day will unfold as you progress.

Namaste,
Leigh