How to Build a Team on the Side of a Road

My daughter’s soccer coach treated the girls to slurpees after their first game of the season. They loved the slurpees, but that was not the best part of the after-game celebration for them.

For the girls, the celebration happened at the side of the road, among screams and shouts for excitement.

What happened?

With their slurpees, the girls sat on a small grassy hill next to the busy broad intersection. Cars drove by, but so did trucks, delivery vans and friends’ parents. Happy and having fun together after their first game, the girls gestured by pulling truck horns in the air, encouraging all drivers to honk back at them. They were hard to miss, all decked out in electric yellow team colors, screaming and laughing.

Practically every vehicle that drove by honked. The girls loved it.

But better than that, the team felt powerful. They felt empowered. The drivers gave them control by responding to their simple gesture. That control could have only been created because of teamwork, so spontaneous and so authentic.

Of course their coach treated them to slurpees to build the team. She knew what she was doing.

The sugar kick was a happy side effect that was hardly noticed … compared to the joy of having fun, together as a team, at the side of a road.

Do It Yourself - Beautiful Personalized Plates

I'm always looking for new gift ideas - ones with a personal touch.

I love 24/7 Moms' idea - personalizing plates. It is an update on our children's plastic plates they decorated when they were in kindergarten. These new ones could be done from one adult to another! Or get your kids involved:)

For the full article, click this link: http://247moms.com/2012/06/diy-personalized-plate-its-a-cinch/

Commit to Your Kids - for the Ultimate Adrenaline Rush

My heart raced, my fists clenched, my voice cracked.

It was an adrenaline rush.

The last two weeks have been the most tense, most entertaining soccer ever. My 8 1/2 year old son was showing skills he didn't have a few weeks before, and his whole team seemed to be doing the same.They are half the size of adults (it seems) and yet the kick backs, side moves, and strong  punts mirror professional soccer (at least it feels that way).

And as Ryan deeks out a defender, my feet leap around as if I was the one with the ball. I try to keep them still, but they are as enthusiastic as my voice.

I actually checked to make sure I wasn't breaking any unwritten "yelling too loud" rule. I was told, "stay positive and you'll be fine." Oh yeah, I'm positive. Positive Ryan is going to be the best soccer player ever! (Along with the rest of his gelling team, of course.) I feel like I'm channeling my inner Sandra Bullock in the Blind Side, only she wasn't so noisy.

But this is a new experience for me. How proud I feel, how excited for my son and his team, how happy to focus solely on the game.

As parents, we enjoy watching our children's sports. Sensing their hard work, their accomplishments, and their personal pride are all part of the privilege of being a parent. We know this is part of our children's life and we will support our children as fully as we can.

But how does this extend to our personal involvement? How does this become not just a sport but a life event? These are my thoughts.

1. The soccer field (or name your child's sport) is a great place to be fully present. Being in the 'now,' not thinking of what must get done today, is a fulfilling experience.

2. Enthusiasm is nothing to shy away from. Be more enthusiastic - it is contagious, and we all have more fun.

3. Feel pride in your child's accomplishments, and spread that pride to the rest of the team or community. There can never be too much of feeling good.

4. Double-check that these feelings are authentic. If pride comes from a place of love and happiness within you, it feels authentic and flows well with the group. If pride comes from ego, check it at the door. This type of pride feels incongruent to others and doesn't sit right. When enthusiasm comes from a place of joy, it feels full of happiness. When it is ego-based, it seems over the top, unnecessary.

Throughout life we enjoy, we learn, we contribute and we enjoy some more. If we're lucky we also feel that bit of adrenaline from something special.

Forget skydiving or running.  Once a week this is my new adrenaline rush.

September is Busy: How to Navigate New Commitments

Phew!

Studying in our Tree

We are three weeks into September and I haven't posted a blog since August. I started two new articles but didn't create the time to finish and publish them. In the meantime, I fulfilled my duties as mom-of-2-school-aged-children, soccer mom, committee member, committee leader, 2nd committee member, writers' group member and business start-up investigator.

In September the most important duty is "mom." My kids loved coming home the first 5 days exclaiming, "we don't have homework today, but YOU do!" As they pull out multiple forms each day covering medical, emergency contact, photo release, tell-me-about-your-child, photo payment and volunteer-for-this-committee requests.

September is also filled with new committee meetings, first-meetings-after-summer-sabbatical meetings, and kids sports meetings...er...practices and games.

Moms can feel the overwhelm of being pulled in multiple directions while trying to get used to the new year's schedule. I've heard more than once, "September is the new year, not January."

So true.

But this year felt a bit calmer than most Septembers, and I had to carve out some time in our busy schedule to think about this question: "Why is life running more smoothly?"

Kids Who See Ghosts

Dr. Caron Goode's article, Kids Who See Ghosts, is reprinted with permission. She is highly skilled at working with the intuitive and metaphysical side of children and parent relationships.

She was recently a guest of the Intentional Conscious Parenting live chat hosted by Carol Lawrence and Stacy Toten. The transcript is still available on-site. Read Carol and Stacy's review for Dr. Goode's new book, Kids Who See Ghosts.

Kids Who See Ghosts – How Does It Start? Why Does It Continue?

by Dr. Caron Goode

This Kids Who See Ghosts column will be here each month to take an up-close, personal look at the topic of ghosts and how to help those who see them. 

Kathy’s Childhood Ghost

Kathy lives in Massachusetts and tells a story she remembers from age four. The story typifies what a child might imagine or encounter when left alone all day. Your children may relate similar experiences, and you might pay them no heed because you, like Kathy’s mom, are busy. Yet the strange events so impacted Kathy that she clearly remembers the ghost forty years later. Was he a ghost or an imaginary friend? 

The Intention to Connect

Today I have the great pleasure of being the host on Day 8 of the Virtual Book Tour for the E-Book Parenting Responsively for Connection. (To order, visit http://heartwiseparent.com/responsive-parenting-e-book/), written by ACPI Parenting Coaches for parents to deal with the most difficult task of maintaining connection with the growing child whose behavior changes and shifts.

Yesterday, the book tour focused on Influencing Character Through Connection at the site: http://parentcoachsedef.blogspot.com with Sedef Örsel Özcelik. Visit now if you haven’t had the opportunity to meet all the authors. 

Today, enjoy this book excerpt below on one of my favorite topics: Intention.

Setting the Intention to Connect

©  2011 by Sherri Boles-Rogers

            Most of us would agree that at one point or another, we all yearn to be better connected to our children.  Perhaps this is because deep down we understand that a strong parent-child bond will help us weather the many storms we will encounter on our parenting journey.  Just as our children's mind and body need to be nurtured, so does our connection. But do we truly understand how to nurture it?

Family Play at Any Age*

Channel your energy into fun and creativity with your family. 

Listen to your thoughts and make a personal commitment to smile with each response. A smile and a bit of creative rewording, turns bickering into bright moments. “The children are starting to argue and dinner’s in half an hour,” becomes, “Hmm, they must be hungry. ‘Kids, I’ve got carrots and dip. Want some now?’”

“I just cleaned up this room and it is already a disaster,” becomes, ‘Kids, who can grab the most items in one minute? One, two, three, go!’”

Turn argumentative episodes into spontaneous fun. It is better for everyone. For example, my children love contests, especially ones like who-can-get-their-pajamas-on-first? That one is their favorite, followed closely by who-can-get-their-shoes-on-first? Boring and routine becomes fun and adventurous.

For a parent to have fun, sometimes you need to schedule it. Plan a trip to an ice rink or roller rink. Have family game night. Choose an activity everyone will enjoy.

5-Minute Metamom – Create Instant Play

1.      Keep a deck of cards in the kitchen. As dinner is cooking, invite your child to play one hand of rummy.

2.      Play 20 questions or eye spy. This is great in the doctor’s office or other waiting areas.

3.      For your older children, create two copies of Sudoku or a word jumble and challenge them to the fastest time.

4.      Tickle your young children for a moment.

5.      Dance around the living room with your child to their favorite song.

6.      Find a few moments to cuddle with your young child.

7.   Discover age appropriate activities for the family. 

       

Teenagers ·         Card Games: Rummy/Poker ·         Board Games with more challenge ·         Soccer, baseball, tennis ·         Multi-player electronic games ·         Skiing, swimming

Young Children ·         Card Games: Go Fish, Memory, Old Maid ·         Simple board games – or simplify ones for older children ·         Tag ·         Peek-a-boo ·         Coloring/Painting

       Elementary School Children

·         Card Games: Crazy Eights, War

·         Board Games

·         Hang man

·         Hide ‘n’ Seek, sardines

·         Soccer, baseball, tennis

·         Active electronic game

·         Swimming

Create an environment of play. When play is scheduled into your routine, it will raise the vibration for all of you. Vibration comes into play with the law of attraction. Like attracts like and a high vibration, such as joy, attracts more high vibration feelings. We could all use a little more joy in our lives. The sacral chakra and the creativity which blossoms when it is balanced, opens the door to the foundation of joy.

Make a habit out of play when your children are young. They want to be close to you and they want to play, so family games provide both. Your teenagers may display some resistance to family games, as they naturally move towards independence. Try to meet your teenagers half way and focus on their current interests. Throw the ball with them. Design the latest clothing trend. Challenge them to a video game. Although you may believe there is too much video play in your house, this is a path to engage your older children and have fun together.

Focus on play, and the seriousness and discipline will fade into the background of your family life.

I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. How do you play with your family? What makes you laugh? What is your child's favorite family activity? What would you add to the list above?
*Excerpt from book: Metaphysical Mom: 5 Minutes to Calm

Welcome to the Virtual Book Tour for "Parenting Responsively for Connection"

Parenting Responsively for Connection

Virtual E-Book Tour

Until June 21st, the new E-Book, Parenting Responsively for Connections will be on tour through 14 blog sites. Each day has a new article from the book. 

This book contains down-to-earth and easy-to-apply strategies for staying connected to your child as they grow from the early years into the school years. Learn how to cope with issues from potty training to developing success study skills. 

Order here

Eleven ACPI Certified Parenting Coaches - compassionate parents who walk their talk - have joined together to bring you the best of their accumulated knowledge and 110+ years of parenting experiences. They have created a book full of sincerity and realism. No fluff here from these astute and intelligent parenting coaches.

Sherri Boles-Rogers, ACPI CPC

Alan Carson, M.Ed., ACPI CPC

Lesa Day, ACPI CPC

Sharon Egan, MS, ACPI CPC

Marcia Hall, CPN, ACPI CPC

Kareen Hannon, ACPI CPC

Adina Lederer, ACPI CCPF

Malini Mandal, OT, ACPI CCP

Sedef Orsel, ACPI CCP

Minette Riordan, Ph.D., ACPI CCP

Jennie Tehomilic, ACPI CPC

Blog With Us and Follow The Journey Of A Book Tour

6-08-11 – Day 1 – http//www.Heartwiseparent.com/blog
6-09-11 – Day 2 – http://www.yesIcanandIwill.com
6-10-11 – Day 3 – http://www.northtexaskids.com
6-11-11 – Day 4 – http//academyforcoachingparents.com
6-12-11 – Day 5 – http://YourParentingQuestions.blogs
6-13-11 – Day 6 – http://www.nannyalliance.blogspot.com
6-14-11 – Day 7 – http://parentcoachsedef.blogspot.com, (English)  or (Turkish) http://cocukluyuzbiz.blogspot.com
6-15-11 – Day 8 – http://metaphysicsetcetera.blogspot.com
6-16-11 – Day 9 – http://www.intentionalconsciousparenting
6-17-11 – Day 10 – http://annebabaokulum.blogspot.com – (Turkish)
6-18-11 – Day 11 – http://www.lifeinaweek.com
6-19-11 – Day 12 – http://www.heartwiseparent.com/blog
6-20-11-  Day 13 – http://www.parentingheart.com
6-21-11 – Day 14 – http://www.classantics.com

On June 15th, Metaphysical Mom will host the tour and post a unique article for you. Please visit here on the 15th, and throughout the tour on other sites to comment and respond to author articles.

I look forward to seeing you on the tour!

How To Make the End of School Memorable

*This is a guest post by author Diane Johnson

As the school year winds to a close, children and parents get excited for the approaching relaxation and fun of summertime. With visions of swimming pools and popsicles, who wouldn't look forward to the end of school? But before you pack up the backpacks and school supplies for good, take a moment to help make your child's end of school time a cherished memory by making it special!

The Self-Aware Parent, live chat with author Cathy Cassani Adams

Transcript of CHAT with Cassani Adams ~ Tuesday April 12th.

Author of, The Self-Aware Parent 19 Lessons For Growing With Your Children, Cathy Cassani Adams, LCSW, PCI Certified Parent Coach was live online, April 12th.


The Self Aware Parent  By Cathy Cassani Adams, provided a compelling view of becoming a new mother. She gave us a glimpse of her parenting occurrences through her personal looking glass.

5 Minutes is an Opportunity

The last six months have been incredibly busy, as my book nears completion. With a month as an aggressive goal to complete editing, I considered going completely offline for a few weeks.

Instead, I'm going to share with you short excerpts of my book. I hope you enjoy them. Take care - Leigh.

Five minutes is powerful. It changes the course of your day, brings a sense of peace among chaos, or even creates a new future. Five minutes is an opportunity.

Yet, the gift of five minutes is often forgotten.

Thanks to overwhelming responsibilities of being a mother, a wife, and an income earner, in the evening you’d give anything for five minutes of peace - and a burst of energy from your exhausted body. Your spouse, if you have one, would love to see you energized too, but you can only imagine lying comatose in front of the television.

Smiles to brighten your parenting day

Sharing laughter about childhood

Comments are courtesy of forwarded email. If you know who wrote it, let me know and I'll give them full credit.

What Is Butt Dust??


What, you ask, is 'Butt dust'? Read on and you'll discover the joy in it! These are fun, original and genuine

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister... After a while he asked: 'Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?'

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. 'I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window.'

BRITTANY (age 4) had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it has a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does it know it's me?'

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. 'Please don't give me this juice again,' she said, 'It makes my teeth cough..'

DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: 'How much do I cost?'

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried when his Mom asked what has troubling him, he replied, 'I don't know what will happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?'

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: Why is he whispering in her mouth?'

TAMMY(age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, Why doesn't your skin fit your face?'

JAMES (age 4)was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: 'The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.' Concerned, James asked: 'What happened to the flea?'

Kids say the darnest things.....

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget...

This particular Sunday sermon....'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. Without you, we are but dust...' He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust?'

Love, light, and a mountain of laughter,
Leigh

Characteristics of an Indigo Child by Carol Lawrence

Carol, of Intentional Conscious Parenting, succinctly describes an Indigo Child. http://www.intentionalconsciousparenting.com/2011/01/characteristics-of-indigo-children.html

Carol also has an active blogfrog community. Perhaps you can connect to her there and discuss: Does your child have Indigo characteristics? Or you can leave a comment below. We'd love to hear from you.

Namaste, Leigh

TSA X-Ray Backscatter Body Scanner: Not Enough Safety Research

This blog was written by Jason Bell, a molecular biologist and biophysicist. He is currently a Ph.D. candidate in Steve Kowalczykowski's lab at the University of California, Davis.

His review of the TSA scanner raises concerns. He says, "I fear that inadequate safety evaluation of these machines could unduly expose my family (and myself) to levels of radiation that might be harmful should this high familial cancer rate in fact be hereditary."

Read more:

Review of the TSA X-Ray Backscatter Body Scanner: Hide Your Kids! Hide your Wife!

It Takes a Village

by Ms Margie

I grew up in a small town called Dos Palos. Everyone knew everybody there and that's where I learned it takes a village to raise a child. Back then, neighbors knew their neighbors and the community came together (it still does). You addressed your elders as Mr. or Mrs., minded your manners and respected yourself and others. Their houses became your home and the welcome mat was out. People took the time to say hello, share a smile, ask how you were and wait for an answer.

I found that there wasn't much I could do without my parents finding out because the village was always looking out. It wasn't out of malice or spite, it was out of genuine concern. My mom always said, "whatever you do in the dark will always come to light." I truly believe this came from Dos Palos' village mentality. It made me think twice about the things I chose to get into. The foundation that developed and the friends and families that were made remain today.

I have since moved to a place called Merced. I brought the memories and my own village mentality with me. I never meet a stranger and always share a smile and a kind word.

As a product of the "it takes a village" generation, I knew how grateful my parents were for the various people who were a part of our lives and how big of an asset they were. It wasn't until I became a mother myself that I realized the magnitude of having a village that loved you, cared for you and looked out for you as if they were family. As a parent, it is comforting to know that so many others have my family's best interest in mind and that my children are aware that they are being watched by a village that wants nothing but the best for them.

It didn't keep my children from getting into things just like it didn't stop me but it created a consciousness and a reminder to maintain a certain level of respect because you know that you're part of something bigger than yourself.

I see my village as a protective barrier that shelters me from the storms, embraces me when I need embracing the most, and a constant reminder that we are our brother's keeper. I look out for them and they look out for me. It is a blessing. The difference it makes in my life is immeasurable and priceless.

Life has shown me that it takes a village to raise a child and I'm glad it did. My children and I are better people because of it.

MsH

http://noroutineaboutit.blogspot.com/2010/11/thankful-heart.html

Childhood Silliness is Pure Pleasure

As I write my chapter on Child's Play, my children seem to get goofier...or am I simply more open to "play"?

Last night, we had almost finished dinner. Shadow, our black lab, stared intently at me. I looked down near my foot. There was a bread crumb barely big enough for a mouse, but apparently he wanted it. I started laughing. "Can you believe it?" I shook my head. "A miniscule piece of bread has his attention."

My son, Ryan, panted anxious dog-speak, "Shadow's saying 'IwantitIwantitIwantit!'"

Shadow the dog

Ashley responded with a low-throated whine, "Or he's saying, 'awww, please let me have the cruuummb... I'm staaaarrving!' Just like when he wants to run out to the backyard to chase the crows, 'leeetttt me ouuutt! I haaavvve to get them!'"

Labs are food-driven. They also bred to love the chase. Both of my children had cleverly mocked Shadow's two (main) idiosyncracies, and their make-believe imitations hit my funnybone. As my husband and I carried on with silly dog-speak, I could hardly believe our table had been reduced to puppy-dog imitations... and hanging tongues.

For overly-serious me, it was pure pleasure.

"Do Unto Others" Fills Me with Gratitude

I feel pretty fantastic right this moment. My to-do list is done.

What was my to-do list?

1. Drop off flyers for the Forever Family Foundation Holidays Past event.
2. Write more content for my book.
3. Pick up material my daughter's new craft project.
4. Purchase a turkey for tomorrow's Thanksgiving dinner.
5. Plan dinner for my dear friends, arriving from Vancouver tomorrow night.
6. Pick up my children and their friends from school. , who are all full of giggles and goofiness. Their "work" was all about Thanksgiving today.

Normally, my list gets check marks, and I'm on to other things. So why is my to-do list special? On the day before Thanksgiving. My list allows me to be extremely grateful.

Why am I grateful?
1. I am healthy enough to be able to help others. With a genuine "Happy Thanksgiving" and a smile, we all felt the true spirit of that small exchange.
2. I have time to write.
3. My daughter is talented in her creativity. It is a pleasure to watch her create.
4. We have the means to provide a big dinner.
5. We have dear friends and family.
6. My children and their friends have no big worries, unlike some children in other countries. Our children experience joy and easy laughter.

I'm also so grateful for some amazing people I've met in just this past year, especially in my volunteer journey. In "doing unto others, " I receive more back in an untold number of ways, but mostly in the warm mushy feeling I have inside, right this moment.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you.

Love and Light, Leigh

Calming a Scared Seven-Year-Old

My seven-year-old boy used to get scared at night. He would climb into our bed at 3am, or ask me to come back to his bed until he fell asleep. Every night he asked that the light be left on.

We talked about his fears. One questionable children's movie (which I regret turning on) has given him a few nightmares. However, he has also mentioned hearing his name called, and hearing noises.

Since I believe in spirits, in our souls surviving death, I believed he could be hearing them. For a child, this is very scary. Any medium that I know reports being frightened as a child, even as they now embrace their unique ability to speak with spirits.

Last month I told him a trick.

Surround yourself with white light. Imagine a glowing ball of light surrounding you and connecting with the ground. Good feelings can go through this light. Bad feelings can't. Also ask God or a higher power to protect you all night.

This, along with keeping the light on low, seemed to work most nights.

Last weekend I went to a conference on the science of afterlife. I bought a children's book from one of the mediums who presented. I gave it to my son, and the same one to my daughter. I passed on some advice from the author, Debra Martin. She said, "tell your son to ask someone he knows - a great grandfather who has passed on, for example - to stand at his doorway and keep him safe all night. No one will be allowed past him without your son's permission."

When I told my son, he said, "could I ask lots of spirits to stand there and guard me?"

I said, "sure, but it is probably better just to ask one or two, then you don't lose track of who you've asked."

Before this chat he was pretty quiet about his fears. On this night, and the next morning, asked me many questions.

I feel pretty confident he will sleep better.

A side note: Yesterday I spoke with a friend-of-a-friend. She was concerned her seven-year-old boy was waking up every night, terrified. Before I knew her own beliefs, I decided to tell her what I'd just said to my own son. She revealed that when her son was two, he seemed to see her own father frequently, shortly after he passed away. She thinks this new advice is worth trying. Stay tuned.

Let It Be

LIFE

Life is simple if you LET IT BE.
LET the sun shine
LET the chips fall where they lay

LET them scream and shout, get it out
LET love swell, and anger fade
LET your true self shine through.
IT is unknown
IT is beautiful
IT has no end
IT is it.
BE yourself
BE in love
BE grateful
BE who you want to be
BE expressive
BE open
BE.

You Got Ghosted!

We are part of a fun new tradition in New Jersey. Ghosting.

It isn't new to this area, but it is the first year we are part of it.

When I grew up, I recall "knicky knicky nine doors." Kids knocked on a door while yelling this chant, then ran away, hoping not to get caught. I recall it was more of a prank than a fun activity, at least for the family in the house. When I was young it felt scary to have some strange kids running around our house and hiding.

Not fun.

Ghosting is different. Friends of my children choose a few houses to deliver a small bag of candy to the front doorstep, often with a note such as, "YOU'VE BEEN GHOSTED!! Roses are red, violets are blue. Ghosts are white and they scare you! Pass this message on and we'll spare you!"

They quietly approach the door, while their parent waits in the car a house or two away. They leave the candy, ring the doorbell, and RUN!

The next day, children giggle and whisper, wondering who did the ghosting, and who was ghosted.

After we were ghosted a couple times, our children begged us to do the same. So this past weekend, all four of us dressed in black, and delivered four bags of candy, with a note, to four friends' houses. Each of our children took turns sneaking up to their friend's door, ringing the bell, then running as fast as they could (except if there were stairs) back to the car.

All four of us giggled and whispered as we drove away, four "kids" having a good time, delivering smiles and more giggles to new friends.

And there was nothing scary about it. Just fun.