Listen Well to Build Relationships

Relationships are created with one person listening, and the other speaking. Create stronger relationships - focus on listening.

The first century AD philosopher Epictetus said, “We have two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak.” In the need to be heard, be acknowledged or be correct, people forget that listening is one of the easiest paths to honest, authentic communication with another human being.

Have you ever been upset with someone and, in anticipation to meet them, created a defensive argument in your mind ready to start the second you see them? Perhaps you simply wanted them to see your point of view.

What would happen if you enter the conversation with a conscious resolve to hear only their perspective for the first five minutes?

Metaphysical Mom Book Cover Choices

Mom and Child

As I edit the final chapters of Metaphysical Mom: 5 Minutes to Calm, I have received an extraordinary opportunity to create the perfect book cover.


Elan Sun Star, inspirational photographer, has provided beautiful images for me to choose, and I need help!

Intentions Can Manifest Through Effort and Focus

We all have a purpose in life, and the steps to fulfill it can change from year to year. However, purpose is what gives us the drive to succeed, the target to aim for, the push forward when we hit a rut. When we know we are on the right path, it feels right, and sometimes the universe lets us know it IS right.

My primary goal is writing. It is my new year's resolution, my target, my purpose.

After a couple months of fairly dedicated writing, I started to notice the synchronicities. These are, in my belief, the checkmark from the universe. "Yep, you got it!" "That was the right step." Sometimes the synchronicities relate to my actual writing, and sometimes they simply indicate my power of intention (or law of attraction) is going in the right direction.

Overwhelmed by Distractions?

Do you ever feel that there is so much to do, you feel like you're spinning in circles, never really accomplishing anything?

I have days like that. Sometimes I have weeks like that.
 Writing. Submitting. Building a platform. Learning how to build a platform. Mommy duties. Homeowner duties. Dog owner duties. Volunteering. And...

Squeeze in time for my husband. If ANY time is left over, I give it to me. However, me time usually gets lost.

With so much to do, I focus on my to-do list. I get immense satisfaction ticking items off that list. So much, so that I actually keep my completed lists in a file. Call me crazy. However, when I feel like I'm spinning in circles, revisiting the activities I completed helps remind me that I do complete things, even if I don't feel it.

However, I know I can be more productive, and feel more satisfaction from my activities.

The Problem is Distractions

What is the real problem? Distractions. Facebook, twitter, Linked In... to interact, post, and share. There are some very interesting people I am friends with, or that I follow, and who follow me back. I am supposed to interact with them. But I get drawn into their stories. I investigate their blog links, books for sale, photos and great articles that may teach me something. An hour later I am still there.

Another distraction? My garden. We moved into a house that had a very "natural" garden (read: weeds). The previous owners took care of it, but I've never seen so many weeds grow so quickly. Must be the east coast humidity.

"Just five minutes to pull those weeds," I say. Half an hour (or an hour) later I've pulled weeds, watered my tomatoes, fertilized a dying patch of grass and thrown more grass seed on a bare patch. I almost get out the shovel so that I can transplant a rhodadendron from underneath a large bush to somewhere it can thrive, but I realize that I've already spent too much time gardening and must get back to my computer.
These distractions happen to be fun, interesting or simply satisfying. However, they do not get me closer to my goal: publication.

How to Minimize Distractions?

1. Schedule important activities. If they get you closer to your main goal, they are important.
2. Schedule free time. For me this includes gardening, jogging with my dog, coffee with a friend or yoga. Though none of these lead me to my primary goal, they are healthy, help me to focus, and keep me happy. A happy Mom is a good thing for my children.
3. Schedule online time. And stick to it! This is my biggest time drain because I know I should be there, I enjoy being there, but my social media goal is rather fuzzy (as it is to many, as social media continues to transform).

My children thrive on schedules as well, though they don't specifically ask for them. When they know that homework is right after school, and playtime is until 6:00pm dinner, life flows happily for them...and for me.

Damn the Rejections, Full Speed Ahead, by Maralys Wills

Like a great novel, I didn't want this book to end. As entertaining as it is instructive, I found myself reading "Damn the Rejections, Full Speed Ahead: The Bumpy Road to Getting Published," over breakfast, squeezed in before dinner, and late at night. It didn't want to put it down.
She drew me into her story and soon I found myself wondering what was going to happen next, only later jotting down notes to remember for my own writing.
With a dozen books published, she authentically provides the advice writers need. Fiction writers will discover tangible, work-ready ideas. Non-fiction writers will find constructive guidance throughout, including plot ideas. Reading this non-fiction book filled with interesting anecdotes and a mildly suspenseful cadence provides a real life example of how to entertain and inform at the same time.
Her book doesn't gloss over the difficulties (137 submissions before one of her books was sold!), but describes the persistence and focus all writers require, as well as specific techniques that will polish a manuscript until it gleams.
Perhaps it reads like fiction because Maralys Wills has authored numerous fiction books. Though I bought her book to help with my non-fiction writing, she had me wondering if my next book could be fiction! She provides specific, useful advice on critical areas such as plot, character, finding ideas, research, and selling a manuscript or book idea. She provides advice with depth.
One of her books was especially close to her heart, and she used its "bumpy road to getting published" as a core example throughout this book. At times I wanted to reach out to her and listen as she poured out her sadness or her excitement. She had me living this roller coaster life with her.
Perhaps because she drew me into her tale, I felt present with her, as if I were one of her students in class. I absorbed her advice like a sponge and instantly found the mistakes in my own writing, as if she were critiquing my work in person. Beyond the classroom, I find myself still living with the characters in my head, wondering what they are going to do next.
A good novel does that – leaves you wanting more. In this case, the main character is the author herself, and there is only one way to keep this book alive: to apply Maralys Wills’ advice from “Damn the Rejections, Full Speed Ahead.”

http://www.maralys.com/

It's about time

It has been some months since I've posted.


I've dedicated my writing time, these past few months, on a new book. It's about time, however, to let the etheric connections of the internet know I'm still around, though in the true ether, time is irrelevant.


Since my ego knows procrastination well, blog writing could be a great tool for procrastination if I let it. As I focused on my book, I knew that one more distraction would delay my book writing even more than kids, cleaning or cooking (afterall, kids are a priority, blogs...not always). But blogs can also be great forums for ideas, pause and clarity.

For example, I regularly follow a blog called Think Simple Now. Tina and her contributors write well, and allow me to pause in my day and think.

Following other writers is useful. What makes me want to keep reading? How do they simplify their thoughts? How do they get their point across? How do they relate examples to their theme? ...how can I improve my own life through reading others' ideas?

I realize I cannot just focus on kids, husband, house and writing. I need time for myself. I meditate, I attend classes and lectures, I belong to a mom's group. I have my blog, and the writing of others.

And now I have a deadline for my writing. Though in the grand scheme of things, time is irrelevant (I will either complete my work or I won't), those setting the deadline don't work in the timeless ether. Once their date has passed, that's it. My procrastinating ego needs this kick in the butt.

It's about time.

Writing

No matter what I write, I am aware that something well written will be an easier read than something poorly written.

Hence, when I saw this article on Digg, I thought it was worth linking to. http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/george-orwells-5-rules-for-effective-writing/

In my enthusiasm for writing (and the time I'm taking for writing outside of paid work is fairly new for me), I forget some of these rules. The simpler, the better, as this is.