During the American Thanksgiving weekend, I want to say thanks to all of you, Canadian and US friends and family, those close and far away. This blog, Facebook, and our old fashioned device - the phone - helps me to feel closer to those across the continent and on the other side of the world. I couldn't be far away from you without knowing that you are near to my heart.
And I feel blessed to know amazing people in my area and community.
I am grateful for the beautiful life I have with you.
Happy Thanksgiving. ~ Leigh
Showing posts with label Appreciation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Appreciation. Show all posts
Hurricane News and Family Focus
The last five days have been a little tense and a lot of
relief.
Late last week we focused on the news as reporters offered
an hourly update on the path of Hurricane Irene. They seemed certain that she
was headed straight for us. At over 460 miles wide, we knew we would be deluged
with high wind, massive rainfall and power outages.
On Friday and Saturday, our family checked batteries in
flashlights, lifted boxes and loose carpets off the basement floor, and tucked
away the patio awning, chairs and cushions. At the last minute I headed to Home
Depot for a generator, but they had been sold out for days. We crossed our
fingers and hoped that when we woke up on Sunday there would be power to keep
our sump pump running in our basement.
Mother's Time Alone - Good for the Family
*Guest Post written by Janice
I absolutely adore my children. With that being said, I also enjoy personal time to myself. If because of the busyness of life, I skip my alone time, I can feel the negative effects in my mind, heart and spirit. There is something within me that yearns for the space and place to be solitary and do as I please, whether that is just time to reflect and meditate, take a bath or go for a run in the woods. The activity doesn’t matter so much as does the habit itself. I need this time, and as I grow more and more into my role as mother and wife, I realize how much I benefit from the act of being alone for a moment each day.
I absolutely adore my children. With that being said, I also enjoy personal time to myself. If because of the busyness of life, I skip my alone time, I can feel the negative effects in my mind, heart and spirit. There is something within me that yearns for the space and place to be solitary and do as I please, whether that is just time to reflect and meditate, take a bath or go for a run in the woods. The activity doesn’t matter so much as does the habit itself. I need this time, and as I grow more and more into my role as mother and wife, I realize how much I benefit from the act of being alone for a moment each day.
1 Minute Reasons to Smile
Need a reason to smile? Watch this one minute movie...then go do something that makes you smile!
http://youtu.be/sAXAPlzRhrQ
Enjoy this moment...and smile.
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| Scene behind the house I grew up in. |
Enjoy this moment...and smile.
4 Lessons from (Weather) Crisis
And though I complained occasionally, the weather here wasn’t even close to the weather experienced in other parts of the world. Australia had floods and cyclones. New Zealand had a massive earthquake and Chicago had high-speed winds and power outages.
Extreme weather always surprises people, as if they expect a normal winter. They voice frustration and disbelief. But they also show crisis attitudes - friendly, hopeful and helpful.
Half the homeowners on our street have lived here since the houses were built in 1985. They have experienced New Jersey weather, and they all own snow blowers. This winter, our snow shovel has worked hard, but three neighbors also assisted us to clear snow on different days. They have done our sidewalk a few times, they let us borrow a snow blower a couple times, and they even did our whole driveway once or twice. I think we all got tired of clearing snow again and again, but the occasional help was done cheerfully and willingly.
And that wasn’t the only willingness I observed. After the ice (and wind) storm, I saw a garbage can in the middle of a busier street. I stopped my car, put on my flashers, and moved it off the road. The icy streets made it a greater hazard than usual. Anyone would have done this, I’m sure, even on a warm, spring day. What was unusual, however, was the gentleman behind me. I waved him around me, and he waved back. “I’m in no rush. I’ll wait for you,” was his gestured reply.
Extreme weather brings out the kindness and patience in people. I saw news reports of neighbors in Australia helping each other sandbag properties before the first storm. New Zealand emergency crew and citizens worked feverishly to pull collapsed walls away from trapped neighbors.
Why does extreme weather bring out the best in people? The most obvious answer: we help because we want everyone to be safe. But it is more than simple safety. In a big crisis, like an earthquake, or in a small crisis, like two feet of snow, we band together, a collective supportive team. With nine snowfalls so far this year, I have spoken to my neighbors more often in the past six weeks than I probably did all last year.
What have I learned from this?
1. It feels good to help someone else. When we lack control in one way (the weather), it is empowering to take control in another way (helping a neighbor).
And we empower that helper by accepting their help gratefully, and willingly.
We also help because we feel good about making someone else’s life a bit better. It is why we volunteer. It is why we plan monthly birthday celebrations at work. It is why we hold the door open for the elderly, or for the mom with the stroller.
2. People just need an opportunity to express their natural kindness.
I have seen how kind my neighbors are. I won’t hesitate to ask for help if I need it, knowing I can repay it in different ways, or pay it forward to someone else.
3. People feel good when reminded of how helpful they’ve been.
We can thank a neighbor for helping us in the winter, and return an offer to watch their house in the summer while they go away. This not only reminds them of their generosity, it shows them they are appreciated.
4. We can replicate that feeling of being united.
Whenever there is a crisis, people work collectively. It is a survival instinct.
But to learn from it, we must take the lesson and make a change. I can reproduce that feeling of goodwill I felt with my neighbors, in a different way. Perhaps we’ll do a neighborhood BBQ this summer. Maybe I’ll just bake cookies for everyone, or make a big batch of salsa from the salsa garden I’m planning this year.
Unity is a good thing to keep alive.
It is so easy to get complacent. To fall back on old habits. Our brains are wired to retrace the route we perform most often, so it is difficult to form a new habit. But what we'll remember in twenty years won’t be who had the snowblower, but the friendship made because of it.
Do we need more weather crises to get to know our neighbors? No. We just need to act with those crisis attitudes – friendly, hopeful and helpful.
As Good As They Can Be, by Sally Marks
I recently heard an interview with Maryrose Forsyth, author of The Real Estate of Relationships: Unveiling Practical Dating Solutions for the 21st Century on blog talk radio. For those who are looking for love, you may want to check out the interview for this helpful primer on sensible dating.
However, a side benefit (and an unintentional one on the author’s part) is this book can also be a helpful guide in other relationships as well. Maryrose explains that many relationships end because the couples weren’t looking for the same thing. If you both aren’t on the same page, then the relationship is doomed to fail. The same is true of friendships, work relationships etc. It boils down to our expectations of the person we are involved with.
For instance, my brother, Terry, is an extremely loyal friend. He has friends that have been a part of his life since he was five years old. Many of his childhood friendships stemmed from playing sports. However, as time went on, although Terry is still healthy and active, many of his friends became sick, old and feeble. In one case, his best friend for many years, Les, died. Yet, before Les passed away, Terry visited him in the hospital every day, and he still visits Les’ mom on a regular basis.
However, a side benefit (and an unintentional one on the author’s part) is this book can also be a helpful guide in other relationships as well. Maryrose explains that many relationships end because the couples weren’t looking for the same thing. If you both aren’t on the same page, then the relationship is doomed to fail. The same is true of friendships, work relationships etc. It boils down to our expectations of the person we are involved with.
For instance, my brother, Terry, is an extremely loyal friend. He has friends that have been a part of his life since he was five years old. Many of his childhood friendships stemmed from playing sports. However, as time went on, although Terry is still healthy and active, many of his friends became sick, old and feeble. In one case, his best friend for many years, Les, died. Yet, before Les passed away, Terry visited him in the hospital every day, and he still visits Les’ mom on a regular basis.
"Do Unto Others" Fills Me with Gratitude
I feel pretty fantastic right this moment. My to-do list is done.
What was my to-do list?
1. Drop off flyers for the Forever Family Foundation Holidays Past event.
2. Write more content for my book.
3. Pick up material my daughter's new craft project.
4. Purchase a turkey for tomorrow's Thanksgiving dinner.
5. Plan dinner for my dear friends, arriving from Vancouver tomorrow night.
6. Pick up my children and their friends from school. , who are all full of giggles and goofiness. Their "work" was all about Thanksgiving today.
Normally, my list gets check marks, and I'm on to other things. So why is my to-do list special? On the day before Thanksgiving. My list allows me to be extremely grateful.
Why am I grateful?
1. I am healthy enough to be able to help others. With a genuine "Happy Thanksgiving" and a smile, we all felt the true spirit of that small exchange.
2. I have time to write.
3. My daughter is talented in her creativity. It is a pleasure to watch her create.
4. We have the means to provide a big dinner.
5. We have dear friends and family.
6. My children and their friends have no big worries, unlike some children in other countries. Our children experience joy and easy laughter.
I'm also so grateful for some amazing people I've met in just this past year, especially in my volunteer journey. In "doing unto others, " I receive more back in an untold number of ways, but mostly in the warm mushy feeling I have inside, right this moment.
Happy Thanksgiving to all of you.
Love and Light, Leigh
What was my to-do list?
1. Drop off flyers for the Forever Family Foundation Holidays Past event.
2. Write more content for my book.
3. Pick up material my daughter's new craft project.
4. Purchase a turkey for tomorrow's Thanksgiving dinner.
5. Plan dinner for my dear friends, arriving from Vancouver tomorrow night.
6. Pick up my children and their friends from school. , who are all full of giggles and goofiness. Their "work" was all about Thanksgiving today.
Normally, my list gets check marks, and I'm on to other things. So why is my to-do list special? On the day before Thanksgiving. My list allows me to be extremely grateful.
Why am I grateful?
1. I am healthy enough to be able to help others. With a genuine "Happy Thanksgiving" and a smile, we all felt the true spirit of that small exchange.
2. I have time to write.
3. My daughter is talented in her creativity. It is a pleasure to watch her create.
4. We have the means to provide a big dinner.
5. We have dear friends and family.
6. My children and their friends have no big worries, unlike some children in other countries. Our children experience joy and easy laughter.
I'm also so grateful for some amazing people I've met in just this past year, especially in my volunteer journey. In "doing unto others, " I receive more back in an untold number of ways, but mostly in the warm mushy feeling I have inside, right this moment.
Happy Thanksgiving to all of you.
Love and Light, Leigh
Let It Be
LIFE
Life is simple if you LET IT BE.
LET the sun shine
LET the chips fall where they lay
LET them scream and shout, get it out
LET love swell, and anger fade
LET your true self shine through.
IT is unknown
IT is beautiful
IT has no end
IT is it.
BE yourself
BE in love
BE grateful
BE who you want to be
BE expressive
BE open
BE.
Life is simple if you LET IT BE.
LET the sun shine
LET the chips fall where they lay
LET love swell, and anger fade
LET your true self shine through.
IT is unknown
IT is beautiful
IT has no end
IT is it.
BE yourself
BE in love
BE grateful
BE who you want to be
BE expressive
BE open
BE.
Pay it Forward
I watched the movie Pay it Forward (2000) last night. I knew there would be tears and smiles, and sometimes it feels good simply to let emotions run their course. At the end of the movie, with tears running down my cheeks, I thought to myself, “why can’t I pay it forward?”
The premise of the movie Pay It Forward is a 7th grade social studies project created by an inspiring teacher, played by Kevin Spacey. One of his students, Kevin, played by Haley Joel Osment, dreamed up the idea to give generously in any way to three other people. Those three then pay it forward by giving generously in their own way to someone else. Giving is the key, as it needs to be a gift or an act that the recipient could not normally fulfill theirself.
When I began to answer my own question, I thought, “how would I possibly do this even once, let alone three times or more? And do I need to receive a gift first?"
That is when I realized that I have already received my gift. I was raised by two generous parents, in conditions void of divorce, alcoholism, mental illness, or poverty. My childhood was protected, positive and wholesome. I am extremely grateful for this gift, knowing how rare it is.
It is time to pay it forward, yet I don’t believe in waiting for the right time with a momentous gesture. I can start with small acts of kindness. Many small acts are those that others couldn't do themselves. Even the act of giving can't be done the same way doing it for yourself. I’ve been having a difficult time communicating with my nine-year-old daughter recently. Her actions have frustrated me. However, she is an amazing, creative, bright source of light, and I can find many ways to pay it forward to her. I can tell her she is incredible, and a bright part of my life.
I also believe it is time on earth for a shift in consciousness, which includes a natural inclination to pay it forward. I know many who already give their time and talents to help others prosper, feel well, laugh and take a step up in life.
My gift (or gifts) may or may not feel rare for me, but it might be just the thing someone else needs, coming at just the right time.
The premise of the movie Pay It Forward is a 7th grade social studies project created by an inspiring teacher, played by Kevin Spacey. One of his students, Kevin, played by Haley Joel Osment, dreamed up the idea to give generously in any way to three other people. Those three then pay it forward by giving generously in their own way to someone else. Giving is the key, as it needs to be a gift or an act that the recipient could not normally fulfill theirself.
When I began to answer my own question, I thought, “how would I possibly do this even once, let alone three times or more? And do I need to receive a gift first?"
That is when I realized that I have already received my gift. I was raised by two generous parents, in conditions void of divorce, alcoholism, mental illness, or poverty. My childhood was protected, positive and wholesome. I am extremely grateful for this gift, knowing how rare it is.
It is time to pay it forward, yet I don’t believe in waiting for the right time with a momentous gesture. I can start with small acts of kindness. Many small acts are those that others couldn't do themselves. Even the act of giving can't be done the same way doing it for yourself. I’ve been having a difficult time communicating with my nine-year-old daughter recently. Her actions have frustrated me. However, she is an amazing, creative, bright source of light, and I can find many ways to pay it forward to her. I can tell her she is incredible, and a bright part of my life.
 |
| Pay it forward a step at a time |
My gift (or gifts) may or may not feel rare for me, but it might be just the thing someone else needs, coming at just the right time.
It can't be this hot - I have too much to do!
There is a reason we feel overwhelmed on hot summer days. Time is still ticking. The to-do list builds yet we don't have the energy to finish our tasks.
The heat saps our energy, forcing us to sit still by the pool, drink iced tea and thumb through an Oprah or People magazine. Reading needs to be light. Nothing too soul searching or academic. Our brains seem to also slow down in the humid heat.
Today is forecasted to be 96 degrees, but feel like 108. I don't think I've been in soaking wet heat like this before. We haven't lived on the east coast long enough to experience it.
Last night we walked home from our neighbors' house at 11pm. The evening was tropical, damp. The crickets and chicadas were creating a cacaphony of song. It reminded me of my first visit to the Mexican riviera with my husband, where a loose dress over a bathing suit was the only outfit that wouldn't stick in the heat. Last night was barely 80 degrees.
Today is Saturday, fortunately. It is family day. Having just returned from vacation our to-do list also includes weeding, mowing the lawn, laundry, organizing our vacation photos and catching up on my writing.
In this heat, I think we'll forget that to-do list and create another: sit by the pool, drink iced tea and read a magazine. No guilt. Just family time.
How about you?
Today is forecasted to be 96 degrees, but feel like 108. I don't think I've been in soaking wet heat like this before. We haven't lived on the east coast long enough to experience it.
Last night we walked home from our neighbors' house at 11pm. The evening was tropical, damp. The crickets and chicadas were creating a cacaphony of song. It reminded me of my first visit to the Mexican riviera with my husband, where a loose dress over a bathing suit was the only outfit that wouldn't stick in the heat. Last night was barely 80 degrees.
Today is Saturday, fortunately. It is family day. Having just returned from vacation our to-do list also includes weeding, mowing the lawn, laundry, organizing our vacation photos and catching up on my writing.
In this heat, I think we'll forget that to-do list and create another: sit by the pool, drink iced tea and read a magazine. No guilt. Just family time.
How about you?
School Reunion - Do you primp or go natural?
My high school reunion is coming up this month. There are a handful of people I'd really like to see, plus more whose posts on facebook have me curious. They seem real, fulfilled, down-to-earth. They've either learned a lot in 25 years, like I feel I have, or I didn't really know them in high school. It must be both.
I told my friend about this event. I'm flying back to my hometown and the reunion is on the first weekend. My friend is an expert hairdresser. She has decided that I am going to have shiny, silky hair, with fantastic highlights and a great haircut.
I love the pampering. I enjoy hanging out with my friend, who I've known for less than a year, since we moved to our new house in New Jersey. I love that she loves her profession. And she's so good at it.
So does this mean I'm primping for this reunion, even if my hair looks “natural” when I attend?
I made a mistake at the last reunion. I didn’t do anything with my hair. Instead I bought a new two piece top in a color I never wore. I wanted something different and very current.
I got it.
But I didn't feel myself the whole night and I believe it showed in my conversation. I felt as nervous as a teenager again.
What is it about a class reunion that makes us crazy? We want to cover the grey, do away with the wrinkles and love handles, and present the most perfect version of ourselves we have at the moment. Why? Precisely because we've only seen them twice since we were 17. We want the comment, "she hasn't aged a bit," even though 25 years of amazing wisdom and learning has been tacked on to our bodies and minds since then.
So if I really am 25 years wiser, why can't I look 25 years older?
This time I'm determined to have as much fun, with as much confidence as I have in my normal life. Even though I'm sinking back into a room full of people I've seen twice since I was barely 17, I'm determined to be "me," comfortable, with all the wisdom and smart decisions that have brought me to the life I live today.
I find it ironic: I shouldn't have to take extra effort to plan how I look if I'm confident in my current life, should I?
One day I'll have to come to terms with my aging body, but I'm not going to do it this month. At my reunion I want to look young. I just don't want the shy, awkward feelings and flat attempts at conversations that went along with it.
I told my friend about this event. I'm flying back to my hometown and the reunion is on the first weekend. My friend is an expert hairdresser. She has decided that I am going to have shiny, silky hair, with fantastic highlights and a great haircut.
I love the pampering. I enjoy hanging out with my friend, who I've known for less than a year, since we moved to our new house in New Jersey. I love that she loves her profession. And she's so good at it.
So does this mean I'm primping for this reunion, even if my hair looks “natural” when I attend?
I made a mistake at the last reunion. I didn’t do anything with my hair. Instead I bought a new two piece top in a color I never wore. I wanted something different and very current.
I got it.
But I didn't feel myself the whole night and I believe it showed in my conversation. I felt as nervous as a teenager again.
What is it about a class reunion that makes us crazy? We want to cover the grey, do away with the wrinkles and love handles, and present the most perfect version of ourselves we have at the moment. Why? Precisely because we've only seen them twice since we were 17. We want the comment, "she hasn't aged a bit," even though 25 years of amazing wisdom and learning has been tacked on to our bodies and minds since then.
So if I really am 25 years wiser, why can't I look 25 years older?
I find it ironic: I shouldn't have to take extra effort to plan how I look if I'm confident in my current life, should I?
One day I'll have to come to terms with my aging body, but I'm not going to do it this month. At my reunion I want to look young. I just don't want the shy, awkward feelings and flat attempts at conversations that went along with it.
The message is right in front of my nose
Articles, ezines, e-newsletters, emails... if we let ourselves, they can fill our inbox and easily overwhelm us.
I was starting to feel that way. I recently unsubscribed to many weekly messages, but still, I had more. Yet I couldn't bring myself to get rid of them all.
Then it hit me, now every time I open up my inbox, I am greeted with messages from those spreading positive messages, giving me a reason to smile, to think, to ponder.
Each message that now comes to me has a metaphysical message about the joy in life. Some speak of the energy that surrounds us. Some tell me to take a moment and focus somewhere else. Others remind me of the strong communities building with an invisible yet powerful connection. They connect through the internet, yet it feels more than that, for they remain with me throughout my day.
I didn't unsubscribe because they lift my spirit, raise my vibration, bring a spontaneous smile to my face.
I am surrounded by the power of metaphysical energy building. What a gift. And it is right in front of my nose.
I was starting to feel that way. I recently unsubscribed to many weekly messages, but still, I had more. Yet I couldn't bring myself to get rid of them all.
Then it hit me, now every time I open up my inbox, I am greeted with messages from those spreading positive messages, giving me a reason to smile, to think, to ponder.
Each message that now comes to me has a metaphysical message about the joy in life. Some speak of the energy that surrounds us. Some tell me to take a moment and focus somewhere else. Others remind me of the strong communities building with an invisible yet powerful connection. They connect through the internet, yet it feels more than that, for they remain with me throughout my day.
I didn't unsubscribe because they lift my spirit, raise my vibration, bring a spontaneous smile to my face.
I am surrounded by the power of metaphysical energy building. What a gift. And it is right in front of my nose.
Whew! If Only All Fear Could be Fixed This Quickly
A couple days ago I posted a blog about my neighbor.
The conversation I had with my neighbor started off ok, then turned negative, then full of fear. I primally reacted and bolted down the street.
Yesterday I saw her at our childrens' school, while sitting in my car. My first reaction was anxiety, but I took a deep breath and gave her a smile and a hello.
She came right up to the car and apologized about the prior conversation. "I'm sorry Leigh. I think I scared you."
"Yes you did. I tend to react to fear and negativity and that was too much." I responded.
She said she knows she overreacted, that she knows she's too protective, she watches too many shows like "America's Most Wanted," and she's sorry she caused me any distress.
As she left I breathed a sigh of relief. I don't like confrontations, but I know how important it is to be open, to solve issues, to get past incidents.
We're past it. It is now up to me to let it go completely, so that it doesn't color our next conversation.
After all, we're really all one. Energy swirls around us and interacts, affecting each of us, for good or for bad. It is up to every one of us to build the positive, let go of the negative.
The conversation I had with my neighbor started off ok, then turned negative, then full of fear. I primally reacted and bolted down the street.
Yesterday I saw her at our childrens' school, while sitting in my car. My first reaction was anxiety, but I took a deep breath and gave her a smile and a hello.
She came right up to the car and apologized about the prior conversation. "I'm sorry Leigh. I think I scared you."
"Yes you did. I tend to react to fear and negativity and that was too much." I responded.
She said she knows she overreacted, that she knows she's too protective, she watches too many shows like "America's Most Wanted," and she's sorry she caused me any distress.
As she left I breathed a sigh of relief. I don't like confrontations, but I know how important it is to be open, to solve issues, to get past incidents.
We're past it. It is now up to me to let it go completely, so that it doesn't color our next conversation.
After all, we're really all one. Energy swirls around us and interacts, affecting each of us, for good or for bad. It is up to every one of us to build the positive, let go of the negative.
Shells, Like Life
Shells have always fascinated me. I know I'm not the only one. Shells have a mystical beauty to them, with perfect lines, neverending swirls, and pastel colors.
In my holiday trip to Florida in December we visited Fort Myers Beach. I was amazed at the number of perfect shells littering the high tide line, like a sparkling point of no return. I was a child again, excitedly picking up overflowing handfuls of perfect shells, looking for a bag or container in our belongings so that I could go back to get more.
My son joined me for a while, and my daughter, but the icing sugar sand intrigued them more. The sand was perfect sand castle texture and they were determined to dig deep enough and build high enough around them to become part of the beachscape.
But the beauty that the ocean left behind on it's daily retreat, drawn by the moon, was entrancing. Perfectly curved creamy lemon and orange shells, some with dark purple or iridescent insides, lined our walk.
I continued to wander up and down the tide line with our dog. He sniffed as we walked along, and perked his ears forward at every dry piece of seaweed that moved in the breeze. "Shadow, they aren't alive." I'd whisper.
Then I wondered, why were there so many shells? Did something happen to the tiny creatures that once inhabited these beautiful homes? The obvious answer, yes, was replaced with wondering if something unnatural happened in their living habitat. As the rented power boats created a constant hum this side of the horizon, I wondered if humans had been careless enough to affect the ecosystem of the shells on this shore.
I tried to shake those negative thoughts. I was determined to find a way to display my collection to honor nature's beauty. I was also careful to ensure I was allowed to bring them home.
Shells are a symbol for all things living. They start their life as a tiny being, then radiate out in perfect uniformity, growing and expanding. As they grow, the beginning point becomes stronger. When we as humans grow, internally we become stronger.
The nautilus shell, the one that spirals round and round, has been examined in mathematics, engineering and metaphysics. The mathematical Fibonacci sequence (adding each number together to get the next number) is also seen in the spiral of the shell.
As I examine these perfect shells, their graceful forms, their calm colors, I decide that I can honor their beauty through my life. I can reach for more grace and calm, and with childlike attention, notice the moments of living perfection before me. As the spiral of my life continues to grow, and I become stronger internally, I hope to reflect the beauty of the shell.
And so that those shells are always there for others to see, I must choose my steps carefully, aware of my effect on nature and those around me, so that we do not reach a point of no return.
Early December highlights
December was a whirlwind of activity, as usual, and January 2010 shows no signs of slowing down. Before I know it I will be at the writer's conference in San Diego in February.
But for now I reflect back on the first half of December:
I am still impressed with the way autumn organizes itself in the US. With Thanksgiving at the end of November, the holiday season seems to launch into full celebration and last for a month. This year we decorated our tree before December 1st, and it didn't seem early, like it used to when we lived in Canada. The children loved plugging in the tree each day, and unwrap the little decorations on our wall advent calendar, lovingly made by Grandma. We experienced a relaxed, but busy first couple weeks as we prepared for the holidays without the last minute stress that I've felt some other years.
In Canada, where I lived until 2.5 years ago, Thanksgiving is in October, before Halloween, so is it's own event. It signalled the cooling of autumn and brought family together after a hectic start to school. Thanksgiving in Canada is something to look forward to each fall, but I admit I'm partial to the timing of the US Thanksgiving, which kicks off the winter holiday season.
The US Thanksgiving weekend has holiday sales before Christmas. In Canada, boxing day sales are the day after Christmas. Thanksgiving weekend seems to bring the chill of winter as well, so wrapping recently purchased gifts under the glittering lights of the tree seem to be a good excuse to stay inside during early December. This creates a less hectic holiday preparation than starting mid way through December, as I sometimes had the habit to do.
Starting holidays early seems to make time without family easier as well. When we moved from Canada we left all our close family and lifelong friends. We love the move we made, but we also miss seeing those we left. This is our third winter away from "home." However, creating early celebrations in our new cities means we could celebrate with our new friends and enjoy our time with them, before returning home for Christmas.
For the past three years, I purchased and wrapped before we left our new home so that we could spend all our time visiting others once we arrived to see our family. The US Thanksgiving is like a little alarm clock. Time to buy, wrap, bake and send cards! With this, plus visiting with new friends during the first half of December, we extended our holidays and reduced our busy holiday stress.
We still miss seeing old friends and our family during the year, but having a full month of celebration with more people we know is a nice new tradition worth repeating!
But for now I reflect back on the first half of December:
I am still impressed with the way autumn organizes itself in the US. With Thanksgiving at the end of November, the holiday season seems to launch into full celebration and last for a month. This year we decorated our tree before December 1st, and it didn't seem early, like it used to when we lived in Canada. The children loved plugging in the tree each day, and unwrap the little decorations on our wall advent calendar, lovingly made by Grandma. We experienced a relaxed, but busy first couple weeks as we prepared for the holidays without the last minute stress that I've felt some other years.
In Canada, where I lived until 2.5 years ago, Thanksgiving is in October, before Halloween, so is it's own event. It signalled the cooling of autumn and brought family together after a hectic start to school. Thanksgiving in Canada is something to look forward to each fall, but I admit I'm partial to the timing of the US Thanksgiving, which kicks off the winter holiday season.
The US Thanksgiving weekend has holiday sales before Christmas. In Canada, boxing day sales are the day after Christmas. Thanksgiving weekend seems to bring the chill of winter as well, so wrapping recently purchased gifts under the glittering lights of the tree seem to be a good excuse to stay inside during early December. This creates a less hectic holiday preparation than starting mid way through December, as I sometimes had the habit to do.
Starting holidays early seems to make time without family easier as well. When we moved from Canada we left all our close family and lifelong friends. We love the move we made, but we also miss seeing those we left. This is our third winter away from "home." However, creating early celebrations in our new cities means we could celebrate with our new friends and enjoy our time with them, before returning home for Christmas.
For the past three years, I purchased and wrapped before we left our new home so that we could spend all our time visiting others once we arrived to see our family. The US Thanksgiving is like a little alarm clock. Time to buy, wrap, bake and send cards! With this, plus visiting with new friends during the first half of December, we extended our holidays and reduced our busy holiday stress.
We still miss seeing old friends and our family during the year, but having a full month of celebration with more people we know is a nice new tradition worth repeating!
A beautiful day
As I walked my children down the street this morning, the air was crisp but not too cold. The forest was full of brilliant reds, oranges, and the lush green of the baseball field on the other side. All the color was on the ground, still thick with new fallen leaves.
I laughed as I recalled yesterday. I had to ask a neighbor to confirm what the freezing temperature was in farenheit, so we could decide if we should turn off our outside taps... California just didn't go there! It is 32, by the way, the forecast for tonight's overnight low.
We live in such a beautiful neighborhood. We are so blessed.
I laughed as I recalled yesterday. I had to ask a neighbor to confirm what the freezing temperature was in farenheit, so we could decide if we should turn off our outside taps... California just didn't go there! It is 32, by the way, the forecast for tonight's overnight low.
We live in such a beautiful neighborhood. We are so blessed.
Traveling with two children
My family and I have just returned from two weeks in Italy. It was an adventure of visual and gastronomic delights!
Our children, 6 and 8 years old, say they had a great time. They talk about Michelangelo's David. They know Rome was started by one of two brothers, Romulus and Remus. They know Florence is a place for market finds, such as leather, jewelry, t-shirts and soccer balls. They know the roads in Tuscany wind in and out, up and down.
And they are excited to show their treasures to their class, as they return to school today.
How did we tour Italy with two young children? The steps below made our trip a success.
1. Don't expect too much
Sometimes I piggy-backed my six-year-old. He was happier, and I used it as an excuse to work my stomach muscles (which I needed to do with all that fantastic food we ate!).
2. Let go of expectations and "must sees."
I took frequent DEEP BREATHS during minor sibling squabbles, or during discussions where even adults had to make a decision to choose one person's activity over another's.
Though we wanted to see the Accademia AND the Uffizi gallery in Florence, our day reached a point of choices, and we decided to let one go. One day, we figure we'll return and see more.
Using our intuition, we managed to keep an open mind, and respond to our children's energy levels. Our youngest also doesn't like last minute changes, so when we decided to do something different, we gave him advance warning, allowing him time to adjust his own expectations.
Though I personally wanted three days in Florence, we decided to spend one of those days around the villa where we stayed. This gave the children a bit more sleep and child-centered activity (there was a pool!). We went for a long walk through the grapevines, and drove into the nearby town of Radda for a short visit.
3. Create challenges
Children love a game. If a casual walk through an art gallery becomes a search for clues or a "where's Waldo" type of search and find, children become engaged and much more interested. They also remember more of their visit.
How many unfinished statues by Michelangelo were in the Accademia?
Which fresco were they going to find in the Sistine chapel?
Which city or village had the best gelato?
Where are we on the map?
At the end of the day, we looked for direction markers back to the car, to make our final steps happier:
"Where is the sign for the duomo?"
"Do you recognize this corner?"
"Which way do you think our car is now?"
4. Ensure daily journal writing
While they write in their journal (3 sentences for our six-year-old, and 5 or more for our eight-year-old), we ask them what they saw, what they remembered, and what was important to them.
Because I planned this activity weeks ahead (and both children were aware of this), this became the major source of homework for both of their teachers.
5. Don't push for a full day
Each day was either early or late, not both. Though they missed out on some sleep, we made time to relax each day with a sit-down lunch in the piazza, or with time to play the new nintendo ds on the hotel bed. Our son bought a small soccer ball early in the trip. He and Paul made it a challenge to play a bit of soccer in each Piazza.
6. Use bribes
Yes! Despite my resistance to this method, telling a six-year-old that gelato is only 3o minutes a way does wonders to dismiss whining.
Knowing that a day of rest followed a busy day helped both children walk a little farther to see one last sight.
7. Let them do things they want to do
At home, I would never let them swing around the hand pole on a bus or subway at home, but in an empty space at the airport, a post is fun to swing around, and suddenly a child who "can't walk" is full of energy.
If we choose between two activities, we give our children a say in those choices. For lunches, we ask them to make a healthy choice. My daughter almost always chose milk to drink, though sometimes it was chocolate milk. When we had two directions we could take, we asked them to choose.
8. Keep essentials close by
I always had one or two full bottles of water with me. Though it added weight, it subtracted whining.
Sunscreen and bug spray were well used.
Both children had their own money to spend, but we kept it for them.
9. Stay grounded
When we entered the basilica in San Gimignano, we saw walls of well-preserved, but quite graphic, frescos of Jesus birth, life and death, of creation, and of other events in that time. My daughter wondered, "why they were killing all the babies?" I wanted to protect her from her anxiety, but instead I took a deep breath, grounded myself and talked about some of the history of these scenes, including how people reacted to their fear, and how sad it is to have any killing at all. I also told her how blessed we are to live in the time and place we do.
10. Reiterate the amazing length of history
Over and over, we oohed and ahhed at the buildings that still exist after 1200 and 2000 years ago, and the images and carvings from hundreds of years ago. We bought a little book that had overleafs of what each Roman building looked like when they were new, to give more perspective to the crumbled walls of the coliseum and the forum.
11. Appreciating the opportunity for real life education
I couldn't help but speak about how lucky we were to be able to see and (sometimes) touch ancient history. As well, we were lucky that the children's school recognized this as well, giving us more time to simply marvel in our journey.
...as our children get older, traveling becomes easier. We hope that instilling appreciation for the world now will help them to appreciate it in their own way as they grow.
I, for one, am so fortunate to have visited Italy, with the persective of my children, and the slow enough pace to be present in the beauty that surrounded me...not to mention the yummy wine, and the tasty olive oil flavoring all our fresh food! My "skinny" jeans will have to wait a few weeks before they are comfortable again:)
Our children, 6 and 8 years old, say they had a great time. They talk about Michelangelo's David. They know Rome was started by one of two brothers, Romulus and Remus. They know Florence is a place for market finds, such as leather, jewelry, t-shirts and soccer balls. They know the roads in Tuscany wind in and out, up and down.
And they are excited to show their treasures to their class, as they return to school today.
How did we tour Italy with two young children? The steps below made our trip a success.
1. Don't expect too much
Sometimes I piggy-backed my six-year-old. He was happier, and I used it as an excuse to work my stomach muscles (which I needed to do with all that fantastic food we ate!).
2. Let go of expectations and "must sees."
I took frequent DEEP BREATHS during minor sibling squabbles, or during discussions where even adults had to make a decision to choose one person's activity over another's.
Though we wanted to see the Accademia AND the Uffizi gallery in Florence, our day reached a point of choices, and we decided to let one go. One day, we figure we'll return and see more.
Using our intuition, we managed to keep an open mind, and respond to our children's energy levels. Our youngest also doesn't like last minute changes, so when we decided to do something different, we gave him advance warning, allowing him time to adjust his own expectations.
Though I personally wanted three days in Florence, we decided to spend one of those days around the villa where we stayed. This gave the children a bit more sleep and child-centered activity (there was a pool!). We went for a long walk through the grapevines, and drove into the nearby town of Radda for a short visit.
3. Create challenges
Children love a game. If a casual walk through an art gallery becomes a search for clues or a "where's Waldo" type of search and find, children become engaged and much more interested. They also remember more of their visit.
How many unfinished statues by Michelangelo were in the Accademia?
Which fresco were they going to find in the Sistine chapel?
Which city or village had the best gelato?
Where are we on the map?
At the end of the day, we looked for direction markers back to the car, to make our final steps happier:
"Where is the sign for the duomo?"
"Do you recognize this corner?"
"Which way do you think our car is now?"
4. Ensure daily journal writing
While they write in their journal (3 sentences for our six-year-old, and 5 or more for our eight-year-old), we ask them what they saw, what they remembered, and what was important to them.
Because I planned this activity weeks ahead (and both children were aware of this), this became the major source of homework for both of their teachers.
5. Don't push for a full day
Each day was either early or late, not both. Though they missed out on some sleep, we made time to relax each day with a sit-down lunch in the piazza, or with time to play the new nintendo ds on the hotel bed. Our son bought a small soccer ball early in the trip. He and Paul made it a challenge to play a bit of soccer in each Piazza.
6. Use bribes
Yes! Despite my resistance to this method, telling a six-year-old that gelato is only 3o minutes a way does wonders to dismiss whining.
Knowing that a day of rest followed a busy day helped both children walk a little farther to see one last sight.
7. Let them do things they want to do
At home, I would never let them swing around the hand pole on a bus or subway at home, but in an empty space at the airport, a post is fun to swing around, and suddenly a child who "can't walk" is full of energy.
If we choose between two activities, we give our children a say in those choices. For lunches, we ask them to make a healthy choice. My daughter almost always chose milk to drink, though sometimes it was chocolate milk. When we had two directions we could take, we asked them to choose.
8. Keep essentials close by
I always had one or two full bottles of water with me. Though it added weight, it subtracted whining.
Sunscreen and bug spray were well used.
Both children had their own money to spend, but we kept it for them.
9. Stay grounded
When we entered the basilica in San Gimignano, we saw walls of well-preserved, but quite graphic, frescos of Jesus birth, life and death, of creation, and of other events in that time. My daughter wondered, "why they were killing all the babies?" I wanted to protect her from her anxiety, but instead I took a deep breath, grounded myself and talked about some of the history of these scenes, including how people reacted to their fear, and how sad it is to have any killing at all. I also told her how blessed we are to live in the time and place we do.
10. Reiterate the amazing length of history
Over and over, we oohed and ahhed at the buildings that still exist after 1200 and 2000 years ago, and the images and carvings from hundreds of years ago. We bought a little book that had overleafs of what each Roman building looked like when they were new, to give more perspective to the crumbled walls of the coliseum and the forum.
11. Appreciating the opportunity for real life education
I couldn't help but speak about how lucky we were to be able to see and (sometimes) touch ancient history. As well, we were lucky that the children's school recognized this as well, giving us more time to simply marvel in our journey.
...as our children get older, traveling becomes easier. We hope that instilling appreciation for the world now will help them to appreciate it in their own way as they grow.
I, for one, am so fortunate to have visited Italy, with the persective of my children, and the slow enough pace to be present in the beauty that surrounded me...not to mention the yummy wine, and the tasty olive oil flavoring all our fresh food! My "skinny" jeans will have to wait a few weeks before they are comfortable again:)
LIFE
LIFE
Life is simple if you LET IT BE.
LET the sun shine
LET the chips fall where they lay
LET them scream and shout, get it out
LET love swell, and anger fade
LET your true self shine through.
IT is unknown
IT is beautiful
IT has no end
IT is it.
BE yourself
BE in love
BE grateful
BE who you want to be
BE expressive
BE open
BE.
Life is simple if you LET IT BE.
LET the sun shine
LET the chips fall where they lay
LET them scream and shout, get it out
LET love swell, and anger fade
LET your true self shine through.
IT is unknown
IT is beautiful
IT has no end
IT is it.
BE yourself
BE in love
BE grateful
BE who you want to be
BE expressive
BE open
BE.
Appreciating Moments
New Jersey: Our new home.
We found our house after much consideration, research and help. Though it wasn't perfectly new, it was perfect. Our house is on a quiet street, with a big yard, facing a small forest next to a big pool and park.
Perfect for our children. Peaceful for us all.
After unpacking, I found our vision board, made months ago to help us find the right house. Everything matched, including the less tangible, such as "feeling settled," "good sleeps," and "like-minded neighbors." We found our son the concrete (our cul-de-sac), for him to ride his bike each morning. We found the neighborhood children for ours to play with. Though we didn't find the horse stables, the family that moved out of our house moved to a place with a stable, and have invited us to drop by.
Not on our vision board? The deer that walk through our front yard. The rabbits nibbling the grass. The fireflies out each night (we've never seen them before!). The amazing energy of the thunderstorms, and the warm rainy air, plus the wonderful sunshine.
I appreciate the moments of the early morning, and the song in the trees late at night. I especially appreciate the recognition that we are in the place we are meant to be, at this moment, and the little signs that remind me.
What is on your vision board, and what moments remind you that you are on your path?
We found our house after much consideration, research and help. Though it wasn't perfectly new, it was perfect. Our house is on a quiet street, with a big yard, facing a small forest next to a big pool and park.
Perfect for our children. Peaceful for us all.
After unpacking, I found our vision board, made months ago to help us find the right house. Everything matched, including the less tangible, such as "feeling settled," "good sleeps," and "like-minded neighbors." We found our son the concrete (our cul-de-sac), for him to ride his bike each morning. We found the neighborhood children for ours to play with. Though we didn't find the horse stables, the family that moved out of our house moved to a place with a stable, and have invited us to drop by.
Not on our vision board? The deer that walk through our front yard. The rabbits nibbling the grass. The fireflies out each night (we've never seen them before!). The amazing energy of the thunderstorms, and the warm rainy air, plus the wonderful sunshine.
I appreciate the moments of the early morning, and the song in the trees late at night. I especially appreciate the recognition that we are in the place we are meant to be, at this moment, and the little signs that remind me.
What is on your vision board, and what moments remind you that you are on your path?
Your Spouse Lost a Job - How to Cope, Part 4
In this final installment to cope when a spouse loses a job, sometimes the simplest remedies are the best medicine.
1. Reconnect with Your Husband
Bring out an old photo album, or take new pictures
Leave love notes next to the coffee, or in the mirror so he can see it in the steam
Be intimate – both of you will feel a renewed sense of yourselves and each other
Watch funny movies or the comedy channel – laughter is its own medicine
2. Maintain Perspective
Above all, remind yourself that this is temporary
Don’t get caught up in negativity (deep breathe!)
Keep your eyes open for opportunity, trust your intuition, and act on ideas and information
Recall this story started with Pamela and her husband, Peter. In the end, I reminded Pamela that Peter will work through stages of emotions naturally,[i] and life will start to feel better. Her family, and others affected by this unemployment crisis will weather this storm and come out the other side. We all will.
Leigh Harris is writing Metaphysical Mom: Five Minutes to Calm. She is also a mother, facilitator, life and career coach, and practices creative family budgeting. She can be reached at metaphysicalmum@gmail.com
[i] See Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s On Death and Dying for a better understanding of these stages
1. Reconnect with Your Husband
Bring out an old photo album, or take new pictures
Leave love notes next to the coffee, or in the mirror so he can see it in the steam
Be intimate – both of you will feel a renewed sense of yourselves and each other
Watch funny movies or the comedy channel – laughter is its own medicine
2. Maintain Perspective
Above all, remind yourself that this is temporary
Don’t get caught up in negativity (deep breathe!)
Keep your eyes open for opportunity, trust your intuition, and act on ideas and information
Recall this story started with Pamela and her husband, Peter. In the end, I reminded Pamela that Peter will work through stages of emotions naturally,[i] and life will start to feel better. Her family, and others affected by this unemployment crisis will weather this storm and come out the other side. We all will.
Leigh Harris is writing Metaphysical Mom: Five Minutes to Calm. She is also a mother, facilitator, life and career coach, and practices creative family budgeting. She can be reached at metaphysicalmum@gmail.com
[i] See Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s On Death and Dying for a better understanding of these stages
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