4 Steps to Stay Present Using Past Memories

Five minutes ago I ate a fresh, juicy raspberry.

My mind leaped back to when I was a young child. I was in my grandmother's backyard picking raspberries fresh from her summer garden. She asked me to pick some for dessert, but I snuck a few into my mouth. My grandmother was a baker and a caregiver, and her love was present in the meals she served. The taste of a fresh raspberry sends me back to those memories, full of love, a safe childhood, and my grandmother with a heart of gold and a fresh, abundant garden.

If I am having a bad day or a busy day, I can buy or pick fresh raspberries and one taste sends me back to childhood ease at grandma's in the summer. And in that moment my body relaxes, as if it was in that long ago moment.

Memories are unique. Our emotions don't really know the difference between a memory and a current event, in that both can bring equal joy, pain, sorrow or comfort. Bring a memory forward and the emotion is felt in present day.

This can be a blessing...or a curse.

How To Make the End of School Memorable

*This is a guest post by author Diane Johnson

As the school year winds to a close, children and parents get excited for the approaching relaxation and fun of summertime. With visions of swimming pools and popsicles, who wouldn't look forward to the end of school? But before you pack up the backpacks and school supplies for good, take a moment to help make your child's end of school time a cherished memory by making it special!

TSA X-Ray Backscatter Body Scanner: Not Enough Safety Research

This blog was written by Jason Bell, a molecular biologist and biophysicist. He is currently a Ph.D. candidate in Steve Kowalczykowski's lab at the University of California, Davis.

His review of the TSA scanner raises concerns. He says, "I fear that inadequate safety evaluation of these machines could unduly expose my family (and myself) to levels of radiation that might be harmful should this high familial cancer rate in fact be hereditary."

Read more:

Review of the TSA X-Ray Backscatter Body Scanner: Hide Your Kids! Hide your Wife!

Radda-In-Chianti, Italy

Countryside from Radda

Radda-in-Chianti, Italy still holds fond memories from our trip. You may be enamored with it too! My guest blog appears on Travelated. "http://travelated.com/an-ancient-village-with-modern-flavors-radda-in-chianti-italy"

It can't be this hot - I have too much to do!

There is a reason we feel overwhelmed on hot summer days. Time is still ticking. The to-do list builds yet we don't have the energy to finish our tasks.

The heat saps our energy, forcing us to sit still by the pool, drink iced tea and thumb through an Oprah or People magazine. Reading needs to be light. Nothing too soul searching or academic. Our brains seem to also slow down in the humid heat.

Today is forecasted to be 96 degrees, but feel like 108. I don't think I've been in soaking wet heat like this before. We haven't lived on the east coast long enough to experience it.

Last night we walked home from our neighbors' house at 11pm. The evening was tropical, damp. The crickets and chicadas were creating a cacaphony of song. It reminded me of my first visit to the Mexican riviera with my husband, where a loose dress over a bathing suit was the only outfit that wouldn't stick in the heat. Last night was barely 80 degrees.

Today is Saturday, fortunately. It is family day. Having just returned from vacation our to-do list also includes weeding, mowing the lawn, laundry, organizing our vacation photos and catching up on my writing.

In this heat, I think we'll forget that to-do list and create another: sit by the pool, drink iced tea and read a magazine. No guilt. Just family time.

How about you?

School Reunion - Do you primp or go natural?

My high school reunion is coming up this month. There are a handful of people I'd really like to see, plus more whose posts on facebook have me curious. They seem real, fulfilled, down-to-earth. They've either learned a lot in 25 years, like I feel I have, or I didn't really know them in high school. It must be both.

I told my friend about this event. I'm flying back to my hometown and the reunion is on the first weekend. My friend is an expert hairdresser. She has decided that I am going to have shiny, silky hair, with fantastic highlights and a great haircut.

I love the pampering. I enjoy hanging out with my friend, who I've known for less than a year, since we moved to our new house in New Jersey. I love that she loves her profession. And she's so good at it.

So does this mean I'm primping for this reunion, even if my hair looks “natural” when I attend?

I made a mistake at the last reunion. I didn’t do anything with my hair. Instead I bought a new two piece top in a color I never wore. I wanted something different and very current.

I got it.

But I didn't feel myself the whole night and I believe it showed in my conversation. I felt as nervous as a teenager again.

What is it about a class reunion that makes us crazy? We want to cover the grey, do away with the wrinkles and love handles, and present the most perfect version of ourselves we have at the moment. Why? Precisely because we've only seen them twice since we were 17. We want the comment, "she hasn't aged a bit," even though 25 years of amazing wisdom and learning has been tacked on to our bodies and minds since then.

So if I really am 25 years wiser, why can't I look 25 years older?

This time I'm determined to have as much fun, with as much confidence as I have in my normal life. Even though I'm sinking back into a room full of people I've seen twice since I was barely 17, I'm determined to be "me," comfortable, with all the wisdom and smart decisions that have brought me to the life I live today.

I find it ironic: I shouldn't have to take extra effort to plan how I look if I'm confident in my current life, should I?

One day I'll have to come to terms with my aging body, but I'm not going to do it this month. At my reunion I want to look young. I just don't want the shy, awkward feelings and flat attempts at conversations that went along with it.

Shells, Like Life

Shells have always fascinated me. I know I'm not the only one. Shells have a mystical beauty to them, with perfect lines, neverending swirls, and pastel colors.

In my holiday trip to Florida in December we visited Fort Myers Beach. I was amazed at the number of perfect shells littering the high tide line, like a sparkling point of no return. I was a child again, excitedly picking up overflowing handfuls of perfect shells, looking for a bag or container in our belongings so that I could go back to get more.

My son joined me for a while, and my daughter, but the icing sugar sand intrigued them more. The sand was perfect sand castle texture and they were determined to dig deep enough and build high enough around them to become part of the beachscape.

But the beauty that the ocean left behind on it's daily retreat, drawn by the moon, was entrancing. Perfectly curved creamy lemon and orange shells, some with dark purple or iridescent insides, lined our walk.

I continued to wander up and down the tide line with our dog. He sniffed as we walked along, and perked his ears forward at every dry piece of seaweed that moved in the breeze. "Shadow, they aren't alive." I'd whisper.

Then I wondered, why were there so many shells? Did something happen to the tiny creatures that once inhabited these beautiful homes? The obvious answer, yes, was replaced with wondering if something unnatural happened in their living habitat. As the rented power boats created a constant hum this side of the horizon, I wondered if humans had been careless enough to affect the ecosystem of the shells on this shore.

I tried to shake those negative thoughts. I was determined to find a way to display my collection to honor nature's beauty. I was also careful to ensure I was allowed to bring them home.

Shells are a symbol for all things living. They start their life as a tiny being, then radiate out in perfect uniformity, growing and expanding. As they grow, the beginning point becomes stronger. When we as humans grow, internally we become stronger.

The nautilus shell, the one that spirals round and round, has been examined in mathematics, engineering and metaphysics. The mathematical Fibonacci sequence (adding each number together to get the next number) is also seen in the spiral of the shell.

As I examine these perfect shells, their graceful forms, their calm colors, I decide that I can honor their beauty through my life. I can reach for more grace and calm, and with childlike attention, notice the moments of living perfection before me. As the spiral of my life continues to grow, and I become stronger internally, I hope to reflect the beauty of the shell.

And so that those shells are always there for others to see, I must choose my steps carefully, aware of my effect on nature and those around me, so that we do not reach a point of no return.

Early December highlights

December was a whirlwind of activity, as usual, and January 2010 shows no signs of slowing down. Before I know it I will be at the writer's conference in San Diego in February.

But for now I reflect back on the first half of December:

I am still impressed with the way autumn organizes itself in the US. With Thanksgiving at the end of November, the holiday season seems to launch into full celebration and last for a month. This year we decorated our tree before December 1st, and it didn't seem early, like it used to when we lived in Canada. The children loved plugging in the tree each day, and unwrap the little decorations on our wall advent calendar, lovingly made by Grandma. We experienced a relaxed, but busy first couple weeks as we prepared for the holidays without the last minute stress that I've felt some other years.

In Canada, where I lived until 2.5 years ago, Thanksgiving is in October, before Halloween, so is it's own event. It signalled the cooling of autumn and brought family together after a hectic start to school. Thanksgiving in Canada is something to look forward to each fall, but I admit I'm partial to the timing of the US Thanksgiving, which kicks off the winter holiday season.

The US Thanksgiving weekend has holiday sales before Christmas. In Canada, boxing day sales are the day after Christmas. Thanksgiving weekend seems to bring the chill of winter as well, so wrapping recently purchased gifts under the glittering lights of the tree seem to be a good excuse to stay inside during early December. This creates a less hectic holiday preparation than starting mid way through December, as I sometimes had the habit to do.

Starting holidays early seems to make time without family easier as well. When we moved from Canada we left all our close family and lifelong friends. We love the move we made, but we also miss seeing those we left. This is our third winter away from "home." However, creating early celebrations in our new cities means we could celebrate with our new friends and enjoy our time with them, before returning home for Christmas.

For the past three years, I purchased and wrapped before we left our new home so that we could spend all our time visiting others once we arrived to see our family. The US Thanksgiving is like a little alarm clock. Time to buy, wrap, bake and send cards! With this, plus visiting with new friends during the first half of December, we extended our holidays and reduced our busy holiday stress.

We still miss seeing old friends and our family during the year, but having a full month of celebration with more people we know is a nice new tradition worth repeating!