Intuitive Parenting

Intuitive parenting isn't difficult if we have the right tools.

But what is the difference between "regular" parenting and intuitive parenting?

With regular parenting, we read books and ask our friends for advice. We try to stay away from too much sugar and junk food, or go a step further and avoid additives, food coloring, and high fructose corn syrup, and purchase organic when possible. We spend time with our children, provide consistent rules, and limit tv watching and video game playing.

Intuitive parenting has nothing to do with the rules, or rather, using those regular parenting rules, an intuitive parent then listens, watches and senses what must be done or said in the present moment, in order to provide the greatest love and least amount of grief for the family.

So, just what does an intuitive parent do? She (or he) listens to what she says and how she says it. She observes the effects her words have on her children. She asks questions in her mind, such as "why is my son not listening to me?" And actually waits, with a breath, for the silent answer: "he can't focus on more than one thing at a time, and that video game is his focus."

The key to that question? Wait. Breathe.

When a parent is too caught up in enforcing rules, or pushing children out the door to school, she is not focused on the present moment. She is instead focused on the future. "I must enforce this rule because if I don't my child won't listen in the future, or he'll grow up to be a lazy/disrespectful person." "I must get them to school on time or that report card at the end of the year will have one more late day on it, and what will the teacher think of me?"

When a parent is in the rule mode, their thoughts of the future are based on fear, not love.

If a parent WAITs a moment before responding with frustration or anger, and responds with love, the outcome is different. She will have time to go over to her son and sit beside him, touch his shoulder to get his attention, and say, "it looks like you are having fun, but it is time to go, Sam. Let me help you save this for later."

Of course, when a parent is already caught up in the cycle of hurry-up-frustration, it is difficult to back out of it. It can be done.

I'll tell you about it soon. Until then. Breath.


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