Metaphysical Mom (and Dad)

Getting Clear In 2012

2012-01-09T07:44:00.000-05:00

Wise advice by my dear friend Carol...

Getting Clear In 2012 By Carol Lawrence

Do you write new years resolutions?
Do they usually work out well for you?
Do you commit yourself to your resolutions?

I can remember being a little kid thinking 2012 is so far away. I really thought back then we would all be driving hover crafts by now and that I would have grown up to be a "Solid Gold" dancer. (Past popular TV show).

Dreams change as we change with each passing breath. Like many of you I have written down my new years resolutions year after year. Some have been accomplished some have not. I'm pretty good at learning something new or completing a goal once I set my mind to it.

As I lay on my couch typing this blog post on my iPad and nursing a cold, I have been reflecting back on the past year. Many changes have taken place in my life and those around me. I'm grateful for
all of them.

This year I'm looking at my new years resolutions a little differently.

I'm getting very clear with my intentions and sharing some of them with you.

Why, you may ask? When you get clear and hold yourself accountable in front of others you are more likely to succeed.

~ Carol's Intentions For 2012 ~

1. Continue to become more clear with my fears and intentions.

2. Master the use of EFT (tapping)
This is a very powerful tool for shifting and moving energy.

3. Grow my social media and conscious parenting businesses. It's time to take them both to another level.

4. Balance my time better so I'm very productive but still have time to play and create joy.

5. Product development. Create products that help others with their parenting or social media. I've learned a lot and it's time I share more of it with you.

6. Become a published author. ;) Stacy this is our year! The children need our children's picture book.

7. Build a new deck! It's long over due.

8. Take a romantic vacation with my husband. (If you are a resort owner and would like to sponsor our entire trip, we would happily blog/vlog about it!) :)

9. Continue on my new way of eating/living. Losing weight feels great.

10. Obtain a better vehicle so we can load up the dogs and go camping more.

My suggestion to you is to write your goals, resolutions and intentions so you can become clear about the changes you want to take place in your life and then ask yourself why you have chosen these intentions. This will help you get to the core of your desired manifestation.

Here's an example of getting clear about your intentions.

Here are two common new years goals.

1. Losing weight.
Why do you want to lose weight?
Maybe it's because you want to feel better about yourself, have more energy, be able to play sports with the kids. Any reason is ok. Be honest with yourself. Write your reasons down along with your intention and read them often. Hold yourself accountable and start taking the necessary steps to your desired goal. Surround yourself with others who are seriously working towards the same goal or who have already obtained their goal and are willing to mentor you.

Common goal number two.
2. Financial abundance? Again there are no right or wrong answers. Be honest with yourself. Why do you really want to be wealthy?

Here's some of my answers.
1. To be able to take care of myself and my family. Have access to, top of the line health care. The kind of alternative health care we want to be able to afford with ease.

2. Buy an abundance of healthy and nutritious food.

3. Travel ~ My husband and I would love to spend time at our favorite animal and wildlife sanctuaries, take a trip every February to a warmer climate, experience other cultures and spend more time trekking around the mountains.

4. Free up our time to completely live in the moment, not tied to a clock and see what we create next.

5. Create my own non-profit that helps families buy school clothes and school supplies, assist homeschooling parents with the materials or financial assistance they may need, preserve more wilderness for future generations, protect wildlife and continue to be of service for Mother Earth. Encourage my sons to be on the board, travel the world and help delegate where the funds would be best utilized.

6. Build my green dream home.

I honestly could go on and on but I won't. It's time to get on with celebrating the incoming new year with friends and family.

My wish for you is that you are completely honest with yourself. From my heart to yours~Happy New Year! Blessings and gratitude for you and your families. May your 2012 dreams come true.

From Carol: Thank you for reading Intentional Conscious Parenting. Sign up for our newsletter and stay connected.

Getting Clear in 2012 original source - click for it.

How to Feel Blissfully Comfortable in Your Own Skin

2011-12-28T08:00:00.000-05:00

Prepare for your new year. Uncover your own authenticity, courtesy of our guest author, Lisa McCourt.

How to FeelBlissfully Comfortable in Your Own Skin
By LisaMcCourt

Sounds nice, right? So what’s keeping you from it and why don’t you just claimit? The only thing standing between you and that kind of freedom and confidenceis your inability to live authentically from your innermost core. Notice thatI’m not telling you to be authentic because it will make you a better person,or because you owe it to the world or anything like that. I’m telling you to bemore authentic because authenticity and self-love are your keys to the kingdom.Without them, nothing else can bring you joy. With them, nothing can fail tobring you joy.

Weall started out gloriously authentic, but our authenticity was beaten out ofus. Over and over, we got the message, implicitly and explicitly, that “imageis everything,” and “you don’t get a second chance to make a first impression.”My friend who works in sales for a mega-publishing company likes to quip,“Anybody who says you can’t judge a book by its cover never tried to sell one.”The cover is all we judge by!

Andall of us want our covers to be the shiniest, most impressive covers we canmanage to project. But where does that really leave us in terms of self-loveand genuine connection with our fellow humans? Our inauthentic tendencies areoften woven so deeply into the fiber of our beings that we have no idea they’reeven there. People-pleasing is an all-too-common and insidious addiction in ourworld, and I know I will forever be a recovering addict in that regard.

Atthe root of all people-pleasing tendencies, and most inauthentic tendencies ingeneral, is a fear of being judged. Many of us grew up with some degree of afear of abandonment from being found unlovable if we were judged and came upshort. And we all judge ourselves to varying extents. If you think you don’tjudge yourself, it probably just means you have a judgment about judgingyourself.

Ifyou’re sensitive to the criticism of others, consider this: The extent to whichyou feel hurt by anyone’s judgment of you is directly proportional to thedegree to which you subconsciously judge that trait in yourself. If I calledyou a jerk, you might feel insulted, because most of us have a fear, deep down,that we have the capacity to be jerks. But if I called you a rhinoceros you’dprobably just think I was nuts and shrug it off. You know you’re not arhinoceros, so there’s no way I can insult you with that—unless you have a bignose or a big butt that you’re sensitive about, in which case your ownself-judgment would cause you to be insulted.

Whenyou catch yourself in those inevitable moments where you’re not expressing yourdeepest truth, celebrate it! Celebrate it because you caught yourself and thatmeans—in that moment at least—you’re glimpsing your real self. Any acts ofself-improvement must always start with awareness. Becoming ever more aware ofthe masks you wear will have the marvelous effect of revealing to you—by way ofcontrast—the one who resides beneath those masks. That’s who you’re lookingfor. That’s who you want to love.

Stepsto Start You Living More Authentically Today:

Every time you catch yourself saying yes when you want to say no, smiling when you feel like scowling, or nodding politely through a long conversation you’d rather walk away from, say the words “not me” silently in your head. You won’t be able to change long-held patterns overnight, but just starting to identify them to yourself will put you on the right track.
Once you’ve begun noticing which people and situations bring out the “inauthentic you” most frequently, make a list of the perks of that relationship or situation. What are you getting out of it? You may find that you get very little from it, and choose to extricate yourself from those situations.

If you find that you do get substantial benefit from remaining in the situation that you’ve been inauthentic in, start looking for small ways to introduce more of the real you into that situation. Sometimes an honest, heartfelt conversation is all that’s needed to clear the air and get you some breathing room. Give the other person the benefit of the doubt, and go into the conversation with the full expectation that you’ll be liked and respected even more for demonstrating your authenticity. (“Mom, I’m so touched by how much you love to cook for me, but tonight I really feel like something lighter. Let me take you out for sushi instead.”)

Worstcase, Mom will be offended, but if you consistently express your truth withlove and compassion, she’ll get used to the new you and it will eventuallyinspire her to be more of who she really is as well. Authenticity is the surestroute to deepening your relationships with others as well as your relationshipwith you.

Aboutthe Author:Unconditional love expert Lisa McCourt is a dynamic speaker, seminar leader andauthor whose 34 books have sold more than 5.5 million copies worldwide. Her newbook, Juicy Joy – 7 Simple Steps to Your Glorious, Gutsy Self, teachespeople to embrace "radical authenticity" to fully experienceunbridled joy in life. Lisa lives in South Floridawith her two children. For a free Juicy Joy audio program, visit www.LisaMcCourt.com.

How to Get Happy

2011-12-14T14:15:00.000-05:00

How toGet Happy – Changing the Vibes

I feel down. Or at least I did last month. My energy wavered up and down fora few weeks. On the outside I don't think I appeared or acted any different. Onthe inside I want to sleep in more often or curl up with hot tea and a goodmovie, or a nice scotch and a new episode of “How I Met Your Mother.”

I hear others feeling blah and my metaphysical friends explain it as a vibrationaland global energy shift.

When we are about to burst into a new way of being, such as starting a newjob, reaching a new level of personal growth or overcoming a major personalobstacle, we go through an energy shift.

Initially this can be uncomfortable.

When we shift to a higher energy we get rid of old "stuff" like beliefs,memories or even relationships, to make way for the new. As we go through oldstuff that no longer works, the gunk comes up.

The gunk is heavy.

It can be difficult to get past the gunk. It lowers our vibrations. Thinkabout how you feel during a dark, rainy day. Low vibration. Now imagine how youfeel waking up in your vacation cabana to see the bright sun reflecting off thebrilliant blue ocean. High vibration.

Fortunately, we can consciously change and raise our vibrations, even whenpeople or situations bring us down.

We can raise our vibrations, feel better, become an example of what we wantthe world around us to reflect back to us.

Calm, happy, love, joy.

Imagine these words having vibrations of their own. Whether you believe thisor not, just imagine it for a moment. What does 'calm' feel like? Imagine acalm moment in your life and then remember how you felt. How does 'pleased'feel? Imagine a past moment for pleased and the feeling that goes along withit. What about happy? Love? Joy?

Can you feel your feelings rise with each memory or feeling? When you dothis, you are raising your vibration.

What about feeling sad? Anxious? Angry? Your vibration lowers with each one.

It is easy to "fall." We get pulled into lower vibrations easilyand often unconsciously. It takes conscious work to raise our vibrations, andto stay there.

How toGet Happy and Raise your Vibe
Next time you find yourself feeling lower than you would like, try thesetechniques.

1. Remember something happy. Thinkof something within the past day or two which made you happy. Concentrate onthat memory and the feeling that goes with it.

2. Listen to a happy song. Choosea song to listen to which raises your mood. Sing to it, even if you don't feellike doing this at first.

3. Move your body. I get happywhen I go for a walk. Stand up, dance or stretch your muscles. Smile big, thenfrown, then smile big again. Stuck energy keeps you feeling stuck, physically. Getyour blood flowing.

4. Laugh. On purpose. Give a goodbelly laugh until you catch yourself laughing for real.

5. Give to others. Do one thingwhich will make the next person you see feel better. Give them a big smile or abear hug. Say a compliment. Make a donation or volunteer.

Many people who help others by consciously emanating love outwards toothers.

You know when someone has a good vibe or bad vibe. Yet what do you do withit? Next time you feel yourself sinking from a bad vibe, make a conscious shiftto raise your vibration and get happy.

In the comment section, share what you do to raise your spirits, increaseyour positive vibrations or get happy.

Awakening The Essential Feminine Virtual Book Tour For Maureen Simon Day 10

2011-12-07T08:00:00.000-05:00

Today I have the great pleasure of kicking off day 10 and the final day of Maureen Simon's virtual book tour for her book, Awakening The Essential Feminine Claiming Your Influential Power.

Maureen Simon is the author Awakening The Essential Feminine Claiming Your Influential Power ~ For women who know that their feminine gifts are needed now and for women who want to know more! Maureen's book holds a missing piece for women's empowerment as it identifies 9 areas of life and 26 attributes that women are predisposed to, based on our brain biology and socialization.

Maureen Simon is the founder of The Essential Feminine Company™ (TEF). A lifestyle and business design company that supports women through the process of creating successful powerful lives that incorporates their uniquely feminine attributes and gifts. Her company provides learning environments and products that assist women in claiming, living and leading with their natural strengths and talents. Maureen's experience with women is based on over 25 years of successfully mentoring and guiding women leaders from around the world.

Enjoy this special excerpt from Maureen's book, on harmony and peacemaking.

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony." ~ Mahatma Gandhi

The feminine prefers to avoid conflict, since it compromises our ability to stay connected. We enjoy collaboration and joint participation in decision making . We tend to formulate requests as proposals rather than orders so as to avoid provoking confrontation. The world now needs, more than ever before, the economic stability, safety, and harmony that comes with the feminine's natural contribution to harmony and peacemaking. We have a personal responsibility in the area of harmony and peacemaking as the level of unrest and disharmony that we personally carry in our soul and our being directly relates to our ability to bring peace into the world.

Why harmony and peacemaking are needed in the world now.

The world holds enough unnecessary conflict today. Compromise and compassion lead to connection and peace. When we learn to think before we take action or react, we create a more thoughtful, meaningful response than otherwise. When we begin to consider issues without competition and status, we allow the space to explore fully, communicate, and develop the true outcome or best direction in which to proceed. When we encourage people to be involved and participate in discussions and decisions, we build increased agreement. Sometimes there can be a creative tension when we work to achieve what we want, for we value maintaining a given relationship. But those who have a developed sense of how to keep harmony and peace learn the skills to respect their own needs while they honor the needs of others.

Be sure to check out Maureen's brand new book, "Awakening The Essential Feminine Claiming Your Influential Power", now available on Amazon.

Leave a comment below for a chance to win your very own copy of Awakening The Essential Feminine Claiming Your Influential Power.

As a gift to you, Maureen would like to personally invite you to join in her complimentary monthly living room holiday teleseminar, Wednesday December 21st – Maureen's monthly live living room events are for women who want to look more closely at key issues that affect their day-to-day success, happiness and overall well-being in a highly supportive environment…The Essential Feminine Living Room is a global networking community that meets virtually on the 4th Wednesday of each month.

Maureen's special guest in December is Alyssa Aubrey the Founder and Program Director of Medicine Horse Ranch, an experiential learning center incorporating horses in human self-development. Her entrepreneurial spirit invites others to engage life ‘on purpose’ and inspires a deeply connected reach towards authentic expression and contribution. Alyssa considers her EGL program horses to be partners, healers, teachers and guides in this powerful, cutting edge process leading people to greater self-awareness and personal growth. www.medicinehorseranch.org

If you missed any of Maureen Simon's virtual book tour be sure to visit Maureen's blog "Women Influencing Now" for full virtual book tour details and a list of all the wonderful virtual book tour hosts. Each host has something special to share with you. It may be an interview, podcast, video or excerpt from Maureen's book. Enjoy the juicy surprises.

http://womeninfluencingnow.wordpress.com/

Thank you on Thanksgiving

2011-11-26T09:00:00.000-05:00

During the American Thanksgiving weekend, I want to say thanks to all of you, Canadian and US friends and family, those close and far away. This blog, Facebook, and our old fashioned device - the phone - helps me to feel closer to those across the continent and on the other side of the world. I couldn't be far away from you without knowing that you are near to my heart.

And I feel blessed to know amazing people in my area and community.

I am grateful for the beautiful life I have with you.

Happy Thanksgiving. ~ Leigh

Bracing for Mother Nature's Strange Behavior

2011-11-20T07:00:00.000-05:00

The end of October this year was weather-strange.

On the 29th I embraced the warm weather, enjoying my garden. Marigolds were raging with color and the Morning Glory was blooming in abundance.Purples and blues traveled among heart-shaped leaves up my front railing. October had been so nice even our rosebush decided to bloom a third roundof lovely pink blossoms.

On this morning I picked a whole bowl of tomatoes - some red, most weregreen. The shiny, round green ones would ripen in a paper bag. They found a perfect place to sprout – the corner of the compost.Tomatoes didn’t do well in the garden this year, but one tomato plantfound a place to thrive late in the season and we had more tomatoes in threeweeks than we did all summer.

On this day, I had a different reason for bringing in so many tomatoes.The weather was about to turn with reportedly an inch of snow later that day.

Weather had already been strange this year. Record rainfalls, a hurricane and an earthquake on the east coast, all in one week.Record snowfalls and floods earlier in the year. Mother nature was behaving a little strange. What else would she do?

And then the snow hit.

I was in a department store at 1pm on the same Saturday. We'd been thereabout 30 minutes and seen a couple flakes of snow. We ran into a friend wholooked concerned about the snow. I mentioned, "an inch of snowwill disappear by tomorrow. We'll hardly notice it." They looked at me abit funny. I didn't know why until I stepped outside with my children.

Half an inch had landed while we were in the store.

It seemed we'd get more than an inch. The snow wasn’t supposed to startuntil that evening.

Back at our house we were watching the snow fall heavily. Paul and I knocked the first layer of snow from the evergreens. We didn't wantto lose the branches to this wet, heavy snow.

An hour later we went out again to knock the snow off both evergreensand other trees. Because of the warm October weather their leaves hadn't yet fallen. The bright green and orange leaves were holding onto the snow.

The third time we went out to save our trees was shortly after thepower went out. It was 3pm, and we started to see 10 - 15 foot long branches fallfrom the 80 foot trees in our backyard. The accumulation was heavier than even Vancouver snowcan get, and these trees couldn't release it through their leaf-filled branches. The limbs started to break under theweight.

Paul said, “We can’t stay out here near the trees. Let’s go inside.” We wentback in to gather our flashlights and blankets, knowing the power would be out for a while.

Lucky for us, our neighbors had invited us and a few others over fordinner. They ordered hot deli trays from the local Italian restaurant, using sternos to keep the food warm.

We left for their house with a lantern, flashlights and glow sticks. Our back yard was littered with largelimbs. We were grateful that big trees were away from the houses.

At the neighbors' house, wecarried on having fun as if we always ate by candlelight.

In fact we had so much fun we hardly noticed the weather outside. Our kidsenjoyed the snow, awayfrom the trees, and then played flashlight tag in the basement.

We slept well that night, and gathered wool and down blankets onto our bedsfor the following night.

All Sunday we stayed home, off the streets, away from the trees.The snow stayed with us, capping at about 12 inches in our area.

Our power returned at midnight heading into Monday morning. We got lucky. Asof Thursday some people in our community still didn't have power, but thecommunity center was open for them. The local Walgreens charged cell phonesfor customers without power. Neighbors shared resources. Our children stayed home from school for three days.

I felt a little strange for a week or two. A bit off-balance or out-of-sync. Perhaps it was the early snow-silence, coupled by the droning of the tree mulching trucks. They sounded like those evil machines on War of the Worlds.

We broke seven weather records that weekend.

I keep wondering about this strange weather. It isn't normal.

But it is teaching us a few things. Neighbors and friends are learning to rely on each other. We look for the positive in order to create calm and stability for our children. We find adventure instead of stress whenever possible. And no school? Our children were overjoyed!

I wonder what next weather record will be broken? How about more sunshine in December? I would enjoy the warmth, sit in my morning-sun bay window and seeing colorful cut flowers to remind me of spring weather - or October strangeness.

What do you think of this weather? Is it affecting you positively or negatively? How do you respond to the surprises?

Nurturing Death

2011-11-18T10:18:00.001-05:00

A beautiful soul, Annie Burnside, describes her friend's last moments with her mother. A beautiful story.

http://www.chicagonow.com/soul-to-soul-perspective/2011/11/my-dear-friend-nurtures-her-mom-in-last-moments/

Teach Your Children Intuition

2011-10-17T13:20:00.001-04:00

Dr.Caron Goode interviews Leigh Harris for “A Practical Approach to Help Children Get in Touch with Their Intuition.”

When we know how to use our intuition, life flows more easily. Children often lose their natural intuitive ability as they get older, which can make growing up more difficult and confusing. By teaching children to rediscover their intuition, we are arming them with life skills to make better decisions and create a safer environment.
Connect with Dr. Goode's Live-Spirit for this 30-minute podcast with Leigh Harris.

Or copy and paste this into your browser: http://live-spirit.com/2011/10/approach-to-help-children-get-in-touch-with-their-intuition/

What does Autumn Mean for You?

2011-10-11T21:46:00.001-04:00

What Autumn Means to Me: Women Influencing Now on The Essential Feminine Blog

Maureen Simon, Author of Awakening the Essential Feminine, is posting some guest blogs on autumn.

Be inspired by her empowering words, and read my short post on What Autumn Means to Me.

What does Autumn mean for you?

How to Save a Marriage

2011-10-06T11:49:00.001-04:00

By Leigh Harris

“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.”
~ Theodore Hesburgh

In the past month I found out that three marriages of close friends are in trouble.

When I heard about the first one, a husband who recently left his marriage, I cried. It seemed worse than death. With death there is love. With separation or divorce, there is often anger, despair and fear.

I found out about the next one, a marriage in trouble for the second time (that I know of), and I felt sad. They had tried to improve a trouble spot, but it seems they fell backwards again. Why aren’t they holding on for dear life? I asked myself.

By the time I heard about the third one, however, I felt resignation. Or at least I didn’t feel as shocked. I suppose when you hear about something repeatedly, it no longer surprises you.

...

...to read the full post, please connect to my guest post on Think Simple Now.

September is Busy: How to Navigate New Commitments

2011-09-21T14:04:00.002-04:00

Phew!

Studying in our Tree

We are three weeks into September and I haven't posted a blog since August. I started two new articles but didn't create the time to finish and publish them. In the meantime, I fulfilled my duties as mom-of-2-school-aged-children, soccer mom, committee member, committee leader, 2nd committee member, writers' group member and business start-up investigator.

In September the most important duty is "mom." My kids loved coming home the first 5 days exclaiming, "we don't have homework today, but YOU do!" As they pull out multiple forms each day covering medical, emergency contact, photo release, tell-me-about-your-child, photo payment and volunteer-for-this-committee requests.

September is also filled with new committee meetings, first-meetings-after-summer-sabbatical meetings, and kids sports meetings...er...practices and games.

Moms can feel the overwhelm of being pulled in multiple directions while trying to get used to the new year's schedule. I've heard more than once, "September is the new year, not January."

So true.

But this year felt a bit calmer than most Septembers, and I had to carve out some time in our busy schedule to think about this question: "Why is life running more smoothly?"

Here is what I discovered, and hopefully I'm not writing this too late in September for you to try some of the same things to make your busy life a bit calmer.

September Sanity Savers

1. Don't expect to do anything other than school-focused activities. When the kids come home from their first few days at school, KNOW that you will have an hour's worth of forms to fill out, and book your time to do this.

2. Keep a notebook by the computer to write down events. Since so many school notices are sent through email now, it only makes sense to write down the event name, date and time as you read the notice.

I use both sticky notes and notepads. Sticky notes are for quick calendar activities (which I then stick to the calendar until I write the details on it), and notepad notes are for activities which need a bit more detail... or just print out the notice and keep them all together.

3. Cover your fridge with notices. Accept that the front of your fridge (or cork board or wherever you post notices and reminders) will be covered with notices for now. When you have a moment, you can remove them and recycle or refile.

4. Regularly transfer your written event messages to one central calendar. Do this at least every other day. Sit in front of the TV in the evening and transfer the information then.

5. Say "yes" to activities and committees which stir your soul. When you do this, your busyness feels fulfilling instead of draining.

I just volunteered to lead a parent committee which will encourage our children and families to raise funds for foster children. CASA is Court Appointed Special Advocates for Children. I worked with the Boys' and Girls' Clubs for 5 years or so, and can see how an advocate may change the life of a child for the better. We are also going to buy backpacks and supplies to give to children that need them. Our children are relatively sheltered, and I look forward to helping to raise our kids' awareness of the needs of others.

More importantly though, I told the Chair that I needed help - questions answered, people who have done it before, etc.

However, last year I volunteered to co-lead the "pizza committee" because my children love getting a slice of pizza for lunch once a week. My childrens' smiles stir my soul as well, and pizza puts us in a happy place.

6. Ask yourself: How can some September activities help me to commit to my own sense of self? I told a friend in August that I had a new goal: It was time to come out from behind my computer and socialize with other people.

Since I established this goal, every activity that has kept me busy the past three weeks has helped me to accomplish this purpose. Even my writing has done this. If I didn't have my "socializing" goal, I would have cancelled my attendance to my writers' group, saying I was too busy. I enjoy connecting with my writer friends, and because of my goal, I didn't miss out on this opportunity.

And finally...

7. Give yourself a break. Perhaps you need to let some commitments slide for a few days or a few weeks. Maybe you need to say "no" to an invitation.

This blog was one of my commitments that I let slide temporarily (though I have plans to preschedule posts for next year, as I do for vacation time).

This may be the year that you teach your children to get their own lunch ready in the morning. In fact, this was something I taught my own children last year. They pack a drink, fruit or veggies, and a granola bar, and I do their sandwich or wrap.

This year the mornings seemed to flow with less effort. This morning I came down from my shower to see my daughter making her own wrap... oops, now that I think about it, I don't recall what my son brought to school in his lunch bag. But I have to give myself a break. I think I've taught them both well enough that at least he won't let himself starve (I hope). Also, I bought 'lunchables' for the first week (but don't tell my nutritionist sister, they probably aren't the healthiest lunch choice!).

September is a creature all on its own, but with a little organization, and easing up on normal expectations, we can get through it without major chaos or crisis. By October 1st, schedules settle down a bit and mothers can breathe a collective sigh of relaxation.

How do you stay sane when life gets busy? Please share your ideas with us.

Hurricane News and Family Focus

2011-08-30T14:04:00.001-04:00

The last five days have been a little tense and a lot ofrelief.

Late last week we focused on the news as reporters offeredan hourly update on the path of Hurricane Irene. They seemed certain that shewas headed straight for us. At over 460 miles wide, we knew we would be delugedwith high wind, massive rainfall and power outages.

On Friday and Saturday, our family checked batteries inflashlights, lifted boxes and loose carpets off the basement floor, and tuckedaway the patio awning, chairs and cushions. At the last minute I headed to HomeDepot for a generator, but they had been sold out for days. We crossed ourfingers and hoped that when we woke up on Sunday there would be power to keepour sump pump running in our basement.

Throughout those few tense days of preparation we were awareof how the news and our own anxieties may affect our children. My sister andher two boys were scheduled to fly back home on Saturday evening, but knowingthe airports would shut down, she rebooked for a few days later. As Saturdayevening approached, three adults and four kids (ages 7 to 12) prepared for windand rain, and found ways to lighten concerns for a good night’s sleep.

Preparing Childrenfor Disaster

We got ready for Sunday as if we were camping. All four ofour children know how to camp.

1. Flashlights: We retrieved all our campingflashlights and battery-operated lanterns from the basement and made sure theyall worked. One flashlight went with each adult to bed, and the rest sat in abin on the fireplace. One of our lanterns has a nightlight switch. We turned iton and left it in the hall outside the bedrooms.

2. Water: We filled bottles of water and froze themin the big freezer. On Saturday night before bed we moved the frozen waterbottles to the kitchen fridge.

3. Glow sticks: Our youngest received a glow stickto sleep with, and we set the rest of them on the hall floor outside thebedrooms.

4. Food: We precooked taco meat for Sunday dinner,knowing we could either eat tacos cold or heat the beef on our propane-poweredColeman stove or grill. I considered moving much of our next days’ food to acooler for frequent access, but decided that pulling out food would be bestleft for when the power actually went out.

My husband, sister and I were all conscious of how much newswas on TV. We didn’t want to overwhelm the kids with state-and-country disasterpreparation, but we wanted to track what was happening. We chose news stationswhich tend to be more rational and less sensational. We didn’t need to hearoverblown reports of the worst potential storm activities.

However, when we did watch the news we commented on what wesaw. “That windy seashore is more than 12 hours drive south of us.” “The governmentpreparation is for worst case. We won’t feel the worst case.” “We are inland by[24] miles.” “The eye of the hurricane won’t go over us.”

For our seven-year-old, we dropped the term “eye” and justcalled it “the hurricane.” This way we could say that it wasn’t passingdirectly over us, though we did say we’d feel the wind and rain from theoutside of “it.”

Personal Outcome fromthe Hurricane

As many of you already know, our house was one of the veryfortunate. Though we woke up a few times to the rain and wind (the worst was2am to 6am), we never lost power, no trees fell directly around us, and wedidn’t experience flooding (though our backyard was a complete lake for a fewhours).

We are extremely grateful for our circumstances, andthankful that everyone we know in the area, from New Jersey over to LongIsland, is safe (though we know some of our Long Island friends are stillwithout power).

On Sunday we stayed inside as the winds continued to burstthrough our community. Whether we watched TV, read or played games, we tendedto hang out in the same room. It was nice knowing we were all together and thatwe all felt safe. When we finally ventured out for a walk in the afternoon, we treadcarefully, watching the trees for falling branches and keeping the kids closeto us. Later that day my sister and I drove to the Passaic River (6 miles fromus) to see if it had flooded. It had. At the time it looked like the flood we’dexperienced this past spring.

Now two days later, the Passaic River is finally cresting ata historic 5 and 12 feet above flood level. There are multiple communities onthree sides of us who are either without power or sitting in an overflowingriver (or both). We sense their loss and frustration and hope their lives willreturn to normal soon. It is a helpless feeling to know so many have sufferedpersonal loss, but we are thankful most of the east coast prepared well andkept lives safe.

Nature can be devastating. When we can do some advancepreparation, we can save lives, some property and some sense of peace. We canthank news reporters for letting us know just how much preparation we need todo in times like this.

As we prepare to drive my sister and my nephews to theairport, I also know our family’s sense of well-being and safety is equallyimportant. By balancing preparation with a light-hearted approach, by watchingthe news but not dwelling on it, we all felt better about this hurricane and appreciatedthe opportunity to be together for it.

How does your family deal with upsetting or stressfulcircumstances? How do you create some sense of peace for your family?

I’d love to hear youropinion, and hear how you are doing.

PS. Some of you have received recent email versions of this post with words stuck together. I apologize for the reading difficulty and haven't yet figured out why this happens. However, if you click on the title and go to the online post, the words will read normally. LH

How to Put the Past Behind You

2011-08-20T09:30:00.000-04:00

“Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someoneanymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control overis yourself.” ~ Deborah Reber

Has this ever happened to you? Your life is ticking along nicelywhen someone from your past appears out of the blue, bringing uncomfortablefeelings back to you as well. They may be an old flame, an old landlord or anold roommate.

They say something to you like, “the last time we spoke weargued about that (cleaning, repair, travel) bill.” And the memory of thatmoment comes flooding back to you. Or maybe you never forgot it, not quitebeing able to let it go.

We all have discomfort in our lives. Mostly we try to learnfrom our mistakes, or from the mistakes surrounding us. Yet emotions createstrong memories. When the past is faced again, emotions can come flooding backwith the memory.

So what do you do when you run into someone who reminds youof an uncomfortable moment in the past?

Here are some ideas:

1. Take a deep breath, knowing it is not part ofyour present life.

2. Summon up a positive emotion, and send it theirway – they may need an extra dose of love, care, or happiness in their life.

3. Acknowledge, to yourself, any stress you may befeeling.

4. Speak of your discomfort honestly if you can. (“I’msorry we ended the way we did.” Or “Wow, I’ve thought a lot about you since thelast time we spoke.”)

5. Recognize where this emotion is coming from(your past). It isn’t from your current life, so don’t attach your currentemotions to it.

Life has a way of surprising us, and the surprise isn’talways pleasant. So make an effort to recognize how an old relationship mayaffect you.

Don’t let negative past emotions color the present momentany more than it needs to. Take steps to keep past anxiety where it belongs. Ifit feels really fresh, then you probably never let go of that moment. Use thesteps above to let go of that anxiety right now, before it saps any more ofyour energy.

Recognize how far you’ve come since that moment, and takesteps to forgive, if forgiveness is needed.

Whatever the current moment brings, give yourself a gift.Face it with courage and honesty, and move on with a smile, knowing where youare now in your life.

How to Deal with Regret

2011-08-15T06:00:00.003-04:00

The last time I felt a true sense of regret, I was struggling to keep my car under control as it hydroplaned up a Vancouver Island highway.

Read the full article (How to Let Go of Regret) on Think Simple Now.

More about my role and the rest of the team on Think Simple Now's About page.

Namaste, Leigh

Kids Who See Ghosts

2011-08-01T15:32:00.009-04:00

Dr. Caron Goode's article, Kids Who See Ghosts, is reprinted with permission. She is highly skilled at working with the intuitive and metaphysical side of children and parent relationships.

She was recently a guest of the Intentional Conscious Parenting live chat hosted by Carol Lawrence and Stacy Toten. The transcript is still available on-site. Read Carol and Stacy's review for Dr. Goode's new book, Kids Who See Ghosts.

Kids Who See Ghosts – How Does It Start? Why Does It Continue?

by Dr. Caron Goode

This Kids Who See Ghosts column will be here each month to take an up-close, personal look at the topic of ghosts and how to help those who see them.

Kathy’s Childhood Ghost

Kathy lives in Massachusetts and tells a story she remembers from age four. The story typifies what a child might imagine or encounter when left alone all day. Your children may relate similar experiences, and you might pay them no heed because you, like Kathy’s mom, are busy. Yet the strange events so impacted Kathy that she clearly remembers the ghost forty years later. Was he a ghost or an imaginary friend?

Kathy was the youngest of four children, all of whom went to school during the day. Around age four, she was at home with her mom, who was usually taking a nap, making the beds, or tending house. Kathy occupied herself by watching television, and one day, this little boy, around the age of ten, was there with her. He appeared as he came from behind the armchair, and when Kathy’s mom or sibling walked by, he would disappear behind it.

Kathy called him Peter. He was tall and thin with big ears and reminded Kathy of Mickey Mouse. He would pop out around the armchair and sit on the floor next to her. They would play and get books, which would fall from the shelves. One day a lamp fell off the table and broke.

If something in the house upset Kathy’s mother, she would say, “Why did you do this,” and she scolded Kathy.

Kathy honestly said she didn’t do it.

Mom would say, “Who did it?”

“Peter did it.”

“Who’s Peter?”

“Peter the ghost. He lives behind the chair right there.”

When Peter heard people coming, he would say, “Gotta go.” Then he’d get up, run behind the chair and disappear into the floor.

Kathy remembers that Peter seemed to be a resident of the house. He was Kathy’s playmate for about one and a half years. Then her family moved when Kathy was five and a half. She never saw or heard from Peter again.

Prime Time for Ghost Friends

When a child sees a ghost or spirit for the first time, often they do so in their early years, when their brains are proportionately135% larger than an adult brain. The early years are a time of vivid imagination, extended brain functions, and easy shifting from one brain wave state to another. By interacting with the environment, a child’s brain activates and develops only the potential networks that match or prove to be useful in his or her environment.

In the early years, between ages two to six, a child’s brain cannot distinguish between conception/perception that is inner-generated and that which is outer-generated. In other words, there are no filters or boundaries of perceptions. To a toddler, people on television look the same as people in real life and so does the spirit of Grandmother who watches over her grandson. It is during this time of the unbounded and expanded brain that children are most likely to experience and develop relationships with invisible friends, ghosts, angels and fairies.

Brain Frequencies in the Early Years

I asked author Michael Mendizza to discuss children’s brain-wave states and kids who see ghosts. Mendizza, along with Joseph Chilton Pearce, coauthored Magical Parent Magical Child: The Art of Joyful Parenting. He is also the founder of Touch the Future, a nonprofit learning-design center. Mendizza, explains, “If children sees a form or something that the adult doesn’t see, they quickly learn to screen that out or hide it, because that’s not normal in their parents’ environment. The ghost is not part of what the culture reflects; it’s not part of the bonding experience. It would be an unbonded experience for the child to see forms that the parent doesn’t see.

“Bonding” refers to a shared meaning. I’m using the word “bonded” in the sense of shared meaning of “ghost” between adult and child. A parent and child are constantly rechecking in with one another to say, ‘Do you understand? Do you see what I see?’ That’s part of renewing the bond of sharing a worldview, establishing the social network.”

Mendizza explained, “We have these different brain frequencies as the brain goes through its stages of growth and development; it changes and adds higher frequencies or different frequencies to its brain-wave patterns, which correspond to states of perception. An interesting point is that if the adult culture saw what we call ghosts, the kids would grow up seeing ghosts too. If the adult culture doesn’t see ghosts, then the child doesn’t have a model to mirror.”

“Psychic” Is Absolutely Normal

At ages 11 to 14, the brain goes through a major cleansing process and physically dissolves the unmyelinated potential neural connections that were available in the younger brain. If these potential connections weren’t made, they are erased. The brain reorders itself and, at that point, most people stop “seeing.”

Mendizza states, “What we call ‘psychic’ is absolutely normal for that early brain that has all these networks and is wide open. Then after the brain reorganization around age 11, because we have diminished our potential, we look back and say, ‘Oh, that’s psychic, that’s extra, that’s not normal.’ But psychic, I’m saying, is quite normal.”

But Not All Kids Shut Down After Age 11

In my professional work as a counselor and psychotherapist, I have observed that the pubescent years of changing hormones also opens or reactivates psychic ability in tweens. Were the talents always there? Did they just shut down for a while? Does a new intuition open for children between the ages of 9 to 12? I cover tweens’ stories of what they see and how they interact with ghosts next month.

I hope you see the importance of positive parental influence on a child’s worldview and early development. When a child sees a ghost, he or she turns to mom or dad for support, problem solving, or a fix to the situation. How a parent responds will influence the child for the rest of his or her life. Yes, that is true for all life events, but how a parent handles kids seeing ghosts is especially critical because a child’s integrity is in question, and the parent’s integrity may be questioned by the child. Both parent and child deserve respect answers and ways to connect with each other and the world around them.

copyright 2010 by Dr. Caron Goode. Dr. Goode is a licensed counselor, author, speaker, and coach. She is the founder of the Academy for Coaching Parents International. (www.acpi.biz). She recently authored Nurture Your Child’s Gift (2008), the award-winning parenting book, Raising Intuitive Children (New Page, 2009) and her newest book, Kids Who See Ghosts, guide them through their fears (2010) All books are available from www.amazon.com. Contact Dr. Goode by email: caron30@gmail.com for speaking engagements and seminars.

Feeling blue? Take care of yourself – do nothing.

2011-07-29T08:28:00.000-04:00

“No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn.” ~ HalBorland

There are some days in our life when we simply feel blue. Noenergy. Blah. Though these days hit some of us more than others, it isimportant for us to recognize when it happens and try not to struggle with theexpectation that we should be feelingfull of energy.

We all go through a cycle of energy from time to time, andif we are aware of it, then we might be able to accept it more easily.

For me, low energy is often a sign that I’ve been doing toomuch and need to slow down to take care of myself. However, if I ignore this signal and keep pushingpast the lack of energy, I could end up feeling sick. Or I could end up feelingso much stress that everything falls apart around me.

Or, I could end up with a lack of productivity at a time when Ineed to complete an assignment or task.

So when I feel low energy, I carve out time to take a breakand perhaps do nothing. “Nothing” might be reading a good book, getting apedicure or even taking a 20 minute nap in the middle of the day.

“Nothing” might be drinking a cold glass of water whilesitting out on the porch, or listening to some happy music.

Nothing certainly is something, but it never gets put on ourto-do list. That might be a good idea – schedule nothing into our day. But in the meantime, our bodies have a way oftelling us when we haven’t done enough of it, and give us a signal by feelingweary or blue.

Next time you feel that way, pay attention and honor yourbody’s signals. Then choose the nothingthat makes you feel better.

Lessons in Motherhood: A Tribute to My Mom

2011-07-23T09:00:00.020-04:00

This weekend I am traveling home to help my mother celebrate her 70th birthday. She and my father are also celebrating over 30 years in their house. They move at the end of next month. There is much to celebrate and I'm thankful to be part of it.

My mother is a role model and and a source of strength and support. Along with my father, she provided a secure childhood, and I know I was fortunate to have that. It is a foundation I learned to cherish, and now try to provide for my own children.

As a child I took my mother for granted. I expect that my own children take me for granted also. And so it should be. They need to know I will always be there for them. They need to feel safe and secure, and if they question my presence then they question their own security. As a child I had no questions. I knew I could rely on my mother for anything.

I believe this came from very clear rules and boundless love. My sister, brother and I knew what our limits were. We knew we were doing something we'd get in trouble for, even as we did it.

As an older teen, I remember coming home late on a Saturday night. It was past the time I was allowed to stay out, and cell phones didn't exist yet to let my parents know where I was if I was late. So as I walked up to the door I rehearsed my words. "We got a flat tire. I'm sorry I'm late." Once it was the truth. Once it was a convenient excuse. Of course, now I know that two flat tires don't hold much weight with a parent.

However, I recall feeling scared for the consequence, but not for my safety. My mother might take away a privilege, but she wouldn't kick me out of the house, and she would always love me. I never questioned that. Ever.

As a teenager I was also keenly aware of the level of choice I was allowed to make. When it came to new boyfriends, college choices, job choices, or other decisions that would affect my future, I was allowed to make those myself. I laugh now as I remember that if my mother was unhappy about my choice, she was eerily silent. (She doesn't often have nothing to say.) Silence was enough of an opinion that I weighed my decisions carefully. But I still made those decisions myself, and lived with the consequences, positive or negative.

Knowing clearly what my mother expected of me (hard work, care for others, respect for rules and inner strength), helped me to establish myself in the working world and into adulthood.

My children are growing, though they seem a long way from adulthood. Nevertheless I know it is important to set clear rules and provide infinite love. My mother helped me to grow into the person I am today. I learned alot from her. I hope I am giving my children the same positive, nurturing environment she gave me.

I grew up in the house we will celebrate in this weekend. People have asked me if it is difficult to see family time in that house come to an end. Maybe a little, I reply. But mostly not. When the foundation of my childhood were my strong and loving mother and father, I can help them celebrate anywhere, even across distances, as what they gave is always with me.

Can You Risk Failure in Order to Succeed?

2011-07-17T20:04:00.003-04:00

“I’ve missed more than nine thousand shots in my career. I’ve lost almost three hundred games. Twenty-six times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” ~ Michael Jordan

Have you ever worked hard for something, only to have it fail? Perhaps you counted on a contract to be signed but it wasn’t, or maybe you were banking on a promotion at work and it didn’t happen. Maybe you took a final exam only to end up with a lower mark than you hoped for.

How do you deal with these “failures”?

If you are like many, you may feel disheartened, annoyed or upset. Perhaps you wish you could turn back time and do something different.

The fact is, these failures are there for a reason. They help you to learn so that you make a different choice or take a different action the next time. They help you to gain knowledge so that next time, you can be successful.

Many incredibly successful people have endured huge failures in order to get where they are. The quote above from Michael Jordan is just one example. Donald Trump went bankrupt more than once in order to get where he is today.

Sometimes there is a big risk in taking the next step towards success. Whether it involves money, time or self-esteem, it is a step that you sometimes must take.

I don’t advocate being wreckless with your money or your self-esteem (or your parenting strategies), but if you weigh the risks, and decide you can deal with the failure (if it were to occur), then it may be worth taking the leap.

What is holding you back from great success? Can you step forward and risk even greater success?

Mother's Time Alone - Good for the Family

2011-07-04T08:52:00.008-04:00

*Guest Post written by Janice

I absolutely adore my children. With that being said, I also enjoy personal time to myself. If because of the busyness of life, I skip my alone time, I can feel the negative effects in my mind, heart and spirit. There is something within me that yearns for the space and place to be solitary and do as I please, whether that is just time to reflect and meditate, take a bath or go for a run in the woods. The activity doesn’t matter so much as does the habit itself. I need this time, and as I grow more and more into my role as mother and wife, I realize how much I benefit from the act of being alone for a moment each day.

My children attend boarding school, so I have no problem finding “me time” during the year, but when summer rolls around it’s a totally different story. I get so excited that my kids are home, and we have so many different activities, that I don’t even notice that I’m lacking time for myself. Suddenly, one morning I wake up and I feel different. I have come to recognize that the feeling is my internal warning system that I need time alone to rejuvenate and be renewed and refreshed.

The first summer that I felt this, I initially was overwhelmed with guilt and did not want my children to think that I needed space from them or didn’t love them. Instead of taking my time away from them, I decided to wake up earlier each morning to have my special time. Most mornings, I will take a short walk and come back to have coffee and quiet meditation. This time I have to myself is so important, but the importance is almost always noticed most by its absence. Whether you have to get up early or stay up late in order to fit it in, be sure to make the time for this invaluable ritual.

If I ever snap at my kids and express irritation due to my lack of solitude, I quickly apologize, and adjust my schedule so that I can have time alone. I often get asked if I feel guilty about needing time away from my children, and I always answer with a resounding “no”. I feel absolutely no guilt or shame whatsoever because I am at my best, being the best mother I can be, when I allow myself this time. My children and my husband benefit from my devotion to sanity!

BIO:

Janice enjoys hiking, getting out into nature and seeking a healthy balance in her life. She plans to write a book about the effectiveness of therapeutic boarding schools and is has already published one shedding light on the true value of military education benefits.

Treat Your Mind and Body like a Ferrari

2011-06-20T08:48:00.003-04:00

“Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.” ~ World Health Organization (1948)

Sometimes we spend so much time focusing on our mental stresses, or on trying to exercise, we forget that our body operates best when we allow each area of our life to function together. And sometimes this means making simple changes in other areas of our life so that we can focus on the place that needs most attention.

For example, you may have a deadline at work, or you might be learning a new position and feel the stress of either situation in your mind. You come home drained from all that intense focus and effort. But instead of collapsing on the couch and flicking on the TV, your mind and body might recharge more efficiently if you take a few minutes to create a simple healthy snack (or meal) and drink a big glass of water.

When we stress our brain, we stress our body. Our brain, after all, is intricately connected to all functions of our body. Too much junk food or a lack of any food at all, and not enough clean eating will cause our bodies will rebel. Do you ever feel lethargic, develop sudden skin problems or get sick more often than you think you should? It may not just be the stress at work. It could be your eating habits.

Some of us treat our minds like a finely tuned Ferrari, but turn around and treat our bodies like a junkyard truck. It is time to treat your whole self – body, mind and soul – like the beautiful instrument it is.

Take small steps to start to tune your body, and your mind and soul will function incrementally and noticeably better.

The Intention to Connect

2011-06-14T23:59:00.114-04:00

Today I have the great pleasure of being the host on Day 8 of the Virtual Book Tour for the E-Book Parenting Responsively for Connection. (To order, visit http://heartwiseparent.com/responsive-parenting-e-book/), written by ACPI Parenting Coaches for parents to deal with the most difficult task of maintaining connection with the growing child whose behavior changes and shifts.

Yesterday, the book tour focused on Influencing Character Through Connection at the site: http://parentcoachsedef.blogspot.com with Sedef Örsel Özcelik. Visit now if you haven’t had the opportunity to meet all the authors.

Today, enjoy this book excerpt below on one of my favorite topics: Intention.

Setting the Intention to Connect

Most of us would agree that at one point or another, we all yearn to be better connected to our children. Perhaps this is because deep down we understand that a strong parent-child bond will help us weather the many storms we will encounter on our parenting journey. Just as our children's mind and body need to be nurtured, so does our connection. But do we truly understand how to nurture it?

Nurturing connection starts with being intentional. After all, if you haven’t set a destination goal, you aren't likely to get there. Setting your intention to connect is a valuable tool. Intention helps to keep your heart and mind focused on where you’re heading and what’s really important: building a solid relationship with your child.

You’re already late for work and your daughter won’t put on her shoes.

Your sons are poking each other with forks instead of poking at their food.

You've discovered that your teenager snuck out of the house last night.

These are moments when you may have a hard time remembering the importance of being intentional about connecting. During these moments, it's normal for your focus to become narrow in hopes of modifying your child’s behavior. But when you're intentional about connecting, your response may be different as you step back, breathe deep and remember your long-term goal of establishing a deeper connection and building a stronger relationship with your child. During times of trouble, our intention often shifts to just wanting our child to do what we ask him to do. That’s understandable. We all want cooperation, peace, harmony and safety in our families. But when we “correct” before we “connect,” we often end up making matters worse.

When you find yourself in a tough parenting moment, these tips can help establish connection:

· Pause and breathe.

· Count to 10.

· Ask yourself where you want to put your time and effort in this moment.

When you do, you'll prompt yourself to think beyond your short-term goal and remember your long-term goal of strengthening your parent-child connection.

So once you have prioritized your intention to connect, what’s next? Practice, practice, practice. Fortunately, you will have many opportunities for this.

When it comes to building a strong connection, there are no shortcuts. Connection is the foundation of your relationship. It requires awareness, intention, practice and commitment—and all of this rests with you. Connection doesn’t require your child to behave a certain way and it doesn’t require you to be a perfect parent. It does, however, require you to be aware of how you habitually react to your child's behavior and to have an understanding of how to effectively respond.

When you're experiencing turbulence in your relationship or you’re feeling disconnected, notice what’s going on inside of you:

· Are you trying to understand what is going on for your child?

· Are you offering compassion?

· Is your motive to correct, coerce or punish?

Understanding and compassion lead to connection. Correction, coercion and punishment can lead to disconnection and discord. Through coercive tactics you may be able to temporarily modify behavior, but in the long run, coercion erodes the parent-child bond and teaches your child to behave a certain way out of fear, guilt or shame. Understanding and compassion, on the other hand, nurtures the parent-child bond and your child’s natural willingness to cooperate and contribute.

So how do you nurture connection with your child during tense moments? The most important thing you can do is to pause and focus on your intention before you speak or react.

When you pause, take the opportunity to remember how it feels when you are in close relationship with those you love. For example, consider the kind of connection you feel when a friend really listens to you, not just gives you a nod of the head, but listens deeply, asking questions to be sure she understands what you’re saying. It’s that warm feeling you get when your partner genuinely wants your input in a decision that will affect you both. It’s the tenderness you feel when you’ve made a regrettable mistake and instead of saying “I told you so,” your friend empathizes with how embarrassed you feel.

When real connection occurs, deep needs are being met. Whether it is the need to be heard, the need to be considered or the need for empathy and understanding, connection meets needs. And acting and speaking with the intention of meeting needs is how you nurture connection and nourish relationship.

When you focus on your intention to connect, you are seeing the big picture of your relationship.

Connection doesn't happen overnight and isn't even always present from the moment of birth. Connection builds over time as trust is established and openness is embraced. Once the foundation of your relationship has been laid and you’ve established a quality connection with your child, the ups and downs of daily living become more manageable and less stressful. When this happens, your child better receives the teaching and modeling the behavior you desire.

Be sure to follow the Virtual Book Tour tomorrow on Day 9 at the next stop: http://www.intentionalconsciousparenting.com with Carol Lawrence & Stacy Toten. They have a great book excerpt on Parents As Leaders!

Please share your comments and thoughts below. We love reading your feedback. Each author and myself also appreciate the retweets and posts on Facebook to spread the word.

Family Play at Any Age*

2011-06-13T12:58:00.023-04:00

Channel your energy into fun and creativity with your family.

Listen to your thoughts and make a personal commitment to smile with each response. A smile and a bit of creative rewording, turns bickering into bright moments. “The children are starting to argue and dinner’s in half an hour,” becomes, “Hmm, they must be hungry. ‘Kids, I’ve got carrots and dip. Want some now?’”

“I just cleaned up this room and it is already a disaster,” becomes, ‘Kids, who can grab the most items in one minute? One, two, three, go!’”

Turn argumentative episodes into spontaneous fun. It is better for everyone. For example, my children love contests, especially ones like who-can-get-their-pajamas-on-first? That one is their favorite, followed closely by who-can-get-their-shoes-on-first? Boring and routine becomes fun and adventurous.

For a parent to have fun, sometimes you need to schedule it. Plan a trip to an ice rink or roller rink. Have family game night. Choose an activity everyone will enjoy.

5-Minute Metamom – Create Instant Play

1. Keep a deck of cards in the kitchen. As dinner is cooking, invite your child to play one hand of rummy.

2. Play 20 questions or eye spy. This is great in the doctor’s office or other waiting areas.

3. For your older children, create two copies of Sudoku or a word jumble and challenge them to the fastest time.

4. Tickle your young children for a moment.

5. Dance around the living room with your child to their favorite song.

6. Find a few moments to cuddle with your young child.

7. Discover age appropriate activities for the family.

Teenagers

· Card Games: Rummy/Poker

· Board Games with more challenge

· Soccer, baseball, tennis

· Multi-player electronic games

· Skiing, swimming

Young Children

· Card Games: Go Fish, Memory, Old Maid

· Simple board games – or simplify ones for older children

· Tag

· Peek-a-boo

· Coloring/Painting

Elementary School Children

· Card Games: Crazy Eights, War

· Board Games

· Hang man

· Hide ‘n’ Seek, sardines

· Soccer, baseball, tennis

· Active electronic game

· Swimming

Create an environment of play. When play is scheduled into your routine, it will raise the vibration for all of you. Vibration comes into play with the law of attraction. Like attracts like and a high vibration, such as joy, attracts more high vibration feelings. We could all use a little more joy in our lives. The sacral chakra and the creativity which blossoms when it is balanced, opens the door to the foundation of joy.

Make a habit out of play when your children are young. They want to be close to you and they want to play, so family games provide both. Your teenagers may display some resistance to family games, as they naturally move towards independence. Try to meet your teenagers half way and focus on their current interests. Throw the ball with them. Design the latest clothing trend. Challenge them to a video game. Although you may believe there is too much video play in your house, this is a path to engage your older children and have fun together.

Focus on play, and the seriousness and discipline will fade into the background of your family life.

I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. How do you play with your family? What makes you laugh? What is your child's favorite family activity? What would you add to the list above?
*Excerpt from book: Metaphysical Mom: 5 Minutes to Calm

Shifting from a Negative Mindset

2011-06-06T08:30:00.004-04:00

There are a few people in my life who are having a hard time with depression, so I invited a guest writer who has experienced depression and now helps others overcome their symptoms. Enjoy this post by John Meeks.

Accentuate the Positive, Eliminate the Negative

The mind is a powerful organ. It has the power to keep us happy, make us sad or change our outlook on the future.
It can keep the rest of the body healthy, or it can cause it to deteriorate and waste away. Controlling your thoughts and keeping the mind in a positive state is the key to a happy and healthy life.

A negative mindset can lead to unhappiness, discontent, anger and eventually depression. Allowed to run rampant, these thoughts can totally control how you feel about yourself and your life. They can completely distort your outlook on life and destroy your optimism for the future. Shifting from a negative mindset to a positive one is the only way to erase depression, sadness and negativity in your life.

Talk Yourself Happy

So how do you shift from a negative mindset to a positive one? The answer is simple. Positive self talk. Many people allow negative thoughts to take over their thought patterns. They constantly hang on to thoughts of self pity, overwhelming grief, regret and self-doubt. These thoughts can cripple and debilitate you, distracting you from the positivist in your life and allowing you to only see the negative.

Recognize and stop negative self talk as soon as it starts, and replace it with self-affirming encouragement and positive thinking. Repeat these positive affirmations as often as needed. Tell yourself that you are in control of your own happiness and choose to be happy. It may not feel natural at first, but with enough repetition, your mind will start to believe it and you will see negativity being erased from your thoughts.

Spend Time With Positive People

Ever heard the saying "birds of a feather flock together?" When you surround yourself with happy people, you will become happy by extension. Spend time engaging in volunteer activities that will make you feel more positive about yourself. Helping others will help to squash negative self talk, and the joy you feel will go a long way in fighting the depression that often accompanies a negative self image. Stay away from negative and pessimistic people to avoid being sucked into their pity parties. By surrounding yourself with positive people, you will go a long way in shifting from a negative mindset to a positive one.

Keep Your Mind Active

Get out, get exercise and socialize. When your brain is idle, it gives you time to reflect on negativity, past guilt, hurt and sorrow repeatedly. This is called ruminating. Ruminating is potentially destructive, and left unchecked, it can cause deep scars on the psyche. Being active and involved in meaningful activities and work will make you feel valuable and give you less time to focus on the negative aspects of life.

Let it Go

Inevitably, there will be things in your past that cause you great pain. There will be actions and words that you regret and decisions that you wished you had made. If there is one truism in life, it is that the past cannot be changed. Don't beat yourself up by second guessing your past decisions and thinking about what you could have done instead. Learn to forgive yourself for things you cannot change. Focus on the positive things that are yet to come and plan for better decisions in your future.

Be Your Own Cheerleader

While there may be things in your past that eat away at you, there are also things that have made you happy and proud in the past. There are things that you have done that have helped people, decisions that you have made that brought you success and moments that have brought you great joy. Focus on those and you will be well on your way to shifting from a negative mindset to a positive one.

John Meeks

Welcome to the Virtual Book Tour for "Parenting Responsively for Connection"

2011-06-05T19:42:00.011-04:00

Parenting Responsively for Connection

Virtual E-Book Tour

Until June 21st, the new E-Book, Parenting Responsively for Connections will be on tour through 14 blog sites. Each day has a new article from the book.

This book contains down-to-earth and easy-to-apply strategies for staying connected to your child as they grow from the early years into the school years. Learn how to cope with issues from potty training to developing success study skills.

Order here

Eleven ACPI Certified Parenting Coaches - compassionate parents who walk their talk - have joined together to bring you the best of their accumulated knowledge and 110+ years of parenting experiences. They have created a book full of sincerity and realism. No fluff here from these astute and intelligent parenting coaches.

Sherri Boles-Rogers, ACPI CPC

Alan Carson, M.Ed., ACPI CPC

Lesa Day, ACPI CPC

Sharon Egan, MS, ACPI CPC

Marcia Hall, CPN, ACPI CPC

Kareen Hannon, ACPI CPC

Adina Lederer, ACPI CCPF

Malini Mandal, OT, ACPI CCP

Sedef Orsel, ACPI CCP

Minette Riordan, Ph.D., ACPI CCP

Jennie Tehomilic, ACPI CPC

Blog With Us and Follow The Journey Of A Book Tour

6-08-11 – Day 1 – http//www.Heartwiseparent.com/blog
6-09-11 – Day 2 – http://www.yesIcanandIwill.com
6-10-11 – Day 3 – http://www.northtexaskids.com
6-11-11 – Day 4 – http//academyforcoachingparents.com
6-12-11 – Day 5 – http://YourParentingQuestions.blogs
6-13-11 – Day 6 – http://www.nannyalliance.blogspot.com
6-14-11 – Day 7 – http://parentcoachsedef.blogspot.com, (English) or (Turkish) http://cocukluyuzbiz.blogspot.com
6-15-11 – Day 8 – http://metaphysicsetcetera.blogspot.com
6-16-11 – Day 9 – http://www.intentionalconsciousparenting
6-17-11 – Day 10 – http://annebabaokulum.blogspot.com – (Turkish)
6-18-11 – Day 11 – http://www.lifeinaweek.com
6-19-11 – Day 12 – http://www.heartwiseparent.com/blog
6-20-11- Day 13 – http://www.parentingheart.com
6-21-11 – Day 14 – http://www.classantics.com

On June 15th, Metaphysical Mom will host the tour and post a unique article for you. Please visit here on the 15th, and throughout the tour on other sites to comment and respond to author articles.

I look forward to seeing you on the tour!

How To Make the End of School Memorable

2011-05-30T09:30:00.004-04:00

*This is a guest post by author Diane Johnson

As the school year winds to a close, children and parents get excited for the approaching relaxation and fun of summertime. With visions of swimming pools and popsicles, who wouldn't look forward to the end of school? But before you pack up the backpacks and school supplies for good, take a moment to help make your child's end of school time a cherished memory by making it special!

Words are Gifts - but Gifts are Great, Too!
Have your child write a short note to their teacher or teachers telling them how much they enjoyed the school year. If your child is younger, drawing a picture is a great alternative. Allowing your child to pick out a small gift for the teacher at the end of school can also go far in letting that special teacher know just how much they meant to you and your children. If they did a great job, let him or her know!
Along the same lines, if time allows, have your child write a note to each of their classmates telling them how much he or she enjoyed the school year together. People never know how much they mean to them until they tell them!

Party Time - a Must for the End of School
As the school year winds down, put together a small party with your child's classmates at a nearby playground. You'll get a chance to connect with other parents and your children will get a chance to celebrate school's end together. Don't forget to snap a few pictures of all the children together and email them out once the party is over. Your child will love being able to look back on their friends and talk about the school year. Don't forget to email a copy of the picture to your child's teacher, too - he or she will love a peek at their class having a great time!

Reward a Good Year with a Special Occasion
If your child has tried his or her best all year, reward their efforts by having a special dinner or fun night in their honor. Take a trip to their favorite restaurant or host a gathering of friends and family in your home - your child will know how much you care about them and their efforts!

Exchange Contact Information
Before school gets out, make sure your child has his or her classmates' contact information so they can get together over summer. One of the things children miss about school in the summertime is not getting to see their friends every day. Make sure this is not a problem by collecting phone numbers and email addresses.

Play the Day Away
Summer is exciting. It's full of vacations, road trips and sleeping in. But, after a while, summer can get a little...well...boring. Instead of letting your children wander around the house aimlessly, plan a few play dates with their friends. Don't worry about hosting at your own home all the time - move the play date to a park instead! They'll thank you, and you'll be thankful - trust us.
Armed with these parenting strategies for the end of the school year, your child will look back at the fond memories of this year's close and look forward to the beginning of next year!

About the author: Diane Johnson writes about a number of her interests including shopping, online classes, and traveling.

1 Minute Reasons to Smile

2011-05-27T14:04:00.000-04:00

Need a reason to smile? Watch this one minute movie...then go do something that makes you smile!

Scene behind the house I grew up in.

http://youtu.be/sAXAPlzRhrQ

Enjoy this moment...and smile.

An Authentic Opinion Comes from a Place of Love

2011-05-15T12:14:00.000-04:00

Love embraces and comforts. Judgement constricts and condemns.

People grow up forming opinions of right and wrong in the world. When someone forms an opinion without understanding what they believe, the opinion can turn into a judgement. This limits their capacity be open and loving and restricts their ability to receive love too, because it blocks the way to connect more fully with others.

Be conscious of your opinions and understand why you have them. Ensure they come from an authentic place.

For example, Barbara, 49 and a mother to two teenage girls, moved to a beautiful suburban street with well kept lawns except for one property. She and her next-door neighbors scorned the person who lived among the dandelions and bare-patched lawn. One day she observed an ambulance in their driveway. When she walked over, curious about the emergency, a young lady came out.

“Is everything ok?” Barbara asked.

“It will be. My mother has been living here for years and as she gets older she can’t care for herself so easily. Unfortunately I live out of town and don’t visit as often as I’d like. Once the doctors make sure she’s ok, I’ll move her to a residential home closer to my house. In the meantime, my brother will come over and tidy up her place. Her biggest heartache is she can’t garden anymore.”

Barbara felt awful. Not only had she not bothered to check on her neighbor, but she had judged her based on the state of her lawn.

By passing judgement, we limit the potential to express ourselves completely and we fail to perceive the full expression of others. We also miss out on opportunities to meet wonderful people.

Barbara offered to help the neighbor’s son do some weeding to clean up the front yard and, fortunately, forgave herself for her judgment. She resolved to know more in the future before forming a strong opinion.

The next time you feel yourself forming an opinion, ask yourself which root belief it is tied to. Ensure it comes from an authentic place within and serves to increase love in the world.

Visualize Success in 1 Minute

2011-05-06T07:15:00.002-04:00

Last week I showed you my first Mind Movie to help visualize success. That one was three minutes.

My next one, called Celebrate Success, is one minute long.

Access it here on YouTube.

Enjoy!~Leigh

Can You Get There from Here? 3 Keys to Getting Unstuck

2011-05-03T07:45:00.006-04:00

Guest post by Angie Dixon

I just connected with a cousin of mine on Facebook, which reminded me of a funny story. When I was eight or so, my parents and I went to visit this (much older) cousin in West Monroe, Louisiana. Then we planned to visit my (also much older) sister in Conway, Arkansas. That’s not the funny part.

The funny part is that my mother called my sister, Sandy, to ask the best route. Seeing that Sandy had lived in central Arkansas for years, everyone thought she’d know the best way to get there coming from Louisiana, in general. And of course they thought she’d get out a map.

What she said, though, was, “You can’t get here from there.”

And she meant it.

Sure, it’s a funny story.

But I see so many people who want more from their lives, and are convinced they can’t get there from here.
And most of the time, they’re just stuck. They’re not permanently messed up, or even really messed up at all.

The thing is, we haven’t been taught how to get past stuck places—or even that we can get past them.
What we’re taught, usually, is that life is hard and achieving goals is hard, and it’s all supposed to be hard.

Lesson #1: And that’s the first key in overcoming the stuck-ness: Realizing that it doesn’t have to be hard. Hard is not required, and easy is not only acceptable but preferred.

Lesson #2: The second key is realizing that “stuck” is normal. Everyone gets stuck now and then. We all start out gung-ho and excited about our goals, and we all make great progress for some length of time, and then get stuck. That’s the way life works. Being stuck doesn’t make you different, bad or in any way special. If you’re stuck, it means you were moving. And you can start moving again.

Lesson #3: And that’s the third key, starting again. Moving through the stuck place or getting over it and going on. Taking action.

I have another great story, which I’ll share if you don’t mind (or even if you do). You may have heard of Charlaine Harris, the creator of the Sookie Stackhouse series, on which the television series True Blood is based. But when I met Charlaine, she was, as she put it, “a lowly midlist author” of two other mystery series. And she told this great story.

Charlaine was on a panel with Mary Higgins Clark at a writer’s conference. It was one of those panels where one person starts a story and the next person continues it. So someone (I think it might have been Charlaine, but I’m not sure) got the hero couple stuck in a tunnel with a grate at the end and the villains bearing down on them. It was hopeless. And the timer passed to Mary Higgins Clark, who said, “And when they got out of the tunnel…”

And that’s how the best mystery writers do it.

But that’s also a great way to implement the third key of getting unstuck. Don’t focus on the stuck piece. Do what you can to be unstuck and go forward.

This makes more sense when you put the first two keys in place, and then just take action on the third one. When I say it, it sounds like it can never work. But when you see it work, you’ll understand.

And remember, being stuck means you made progress to get where you are. Don’t let it bring you down.

Angie Dixon helps people get past the stuck places and live their real lives. Join Angie’s tribe to find out how you can get a free life strategy coaching session with Angie, at http://www.angiedixon.com/

Listen Well to Build Relationships

2011-04-27T07:42:00.009-04:00

Relationships are created with one person listening, and the other speaking. Create stronger relationships - focus on listening.

The first century AD philosopher Epictetus said, “We have two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak.” In the need to be heard, be acknowledged or be correct, people forget that listening is one of the easiest paths to honest, authentic communication with another human being.

Have you ever been upset with someone and, in anticipation to meet them, created a defensive argument in your mind ready to start the second you see them? Perhaps you simply wanted them to see your point of view.

What would happen if you enter the conversation with a conscious resolve to hear only their perspective for the first five minutes?
If you focus on listening instead of responding, how can there be conflict? Now, if you tell yourself to listen, but instead, you pay attention to the frustration rising to your throat, you aren’t really listening to them.

To listen is more than to hear. Hearing involves no conscious effort on your part. To listen, you interpret words, and notice the tone of their voice. Active listening is one step further. You observe body language and are able to repeat what was told to you in your own words.

Authentic listening diffuses conflict, offers something the speaker requires, and is the backbone to positive communication. It rids people from feeling stuck in their need to be heard, and in resisting another’s point of view. It also helps them to move forward as the topic moves forward, then frees them up to create further action. Authentic listening is effective in breaking down negative energy, and opening up positive energy.

Asking open-ended questions through active listening helps children to open up, expands creativity in employees, and helps others to work through issues in counseling. Open-ended questions also help the listener to participate non-judgmentally in any conversation. Your children would thrive with open-ended questions, especially regarding their habits and behaviors.

Open-ended questions are essentially any question which does NOT have “yes” or “no” answer. It is an opportunity to reflect more fully on what the speaker has to say, whether they are colleagues, friends or your children. One open answer creates another open question, and trust and authenticity grow.

5-Minute Metamom – Open-Ended Statements and Questions

Who, what, how, why, when and where are great starts to open-ended questions. In addition, statements can perform the same function when they nudge the person to start sharing. “Tell me about your day.” “I’d love to hear about your trip.” “I’m sorry we ended our conversation so abruptly last week. I’d like to hear more about how you are doing with your daughter.”

Once the conversation begins, ask a question. “When do you plan to take the next step?” “Why do you think that bothers you so much?” “Who could help you with that?” “How can I help you further?”

Listen to their response.

Don’t be afraid of a few seconds of silence. Silence expands the moment between you, and gives the speaker some space to process and be present.

Another short excerpt from Leigh's forthcoming book, Metaphysical Mom: 5 Minutes to Calm. To receive notice of publication, sign up on the blog email list, top right corner of this article. Or follow MetaphysicalLife on facebook

Book Cover Winner

2011-04-23T11:20:00.003-04:00

We received lots of feedback to help choose the book cover for Metaphysical Mom: Five Minutes to Calm. Thank you to all who participated online and from April 15th's post. You gave us great insight.

The winning photo is:

This lovely photo, both with mock cover and without (below). Elan Sun Star captured this moment beautifully, between mother and child. As some of you said, it "whispers calm,"(Mandy) "suits the title," (JD) and will "reach mainstream mothers" (Megan). Comments came in via email, facebook and on the blog.

While I cannot guarantee the publishers will choose this photo (we haven't secured a contract yet), I plan to print it up on large glossy photopaper to help manifest my dream.

Thank you for everyone, for your suggestions and encouragement. I can see the finish line, and this helps to make it brighter!

PS. Happy Birthday Dad!

Do you know someone who will enjoy a weekly dose of Metaphysical motherhood (and fatherhood)? Forward this link where they can subscribe. We never sell, rent or lend email addresses. Subscriber emails are only used to send weekly metaphysical insights, and links to interesting articles.

Facebook link: http://www.facebook.com/MetaphysicalLife
Twitter link: http://www.twitter.com/metaphysicalmom
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/leighharris

Visualizing Success: The Movie

2011-04-18T18:31:00.003-04:00

I'm a big fan of visualizing success. When that picture is clear in my mind, I know exactly what I have to do to go after it. I'm still working on the timeline part (for example, I know my current vision requires alot of focused work, but sometimes I just want to visit with friends, play hide 'n' seek with our children, or catch up on Facebook). However, I know what I want.

To help to visualize the end goal clearly, I use a vision board or mind map, until last week.

A vision board is a visual representation of dreams you want to attract to your life. These dreams can be in any life area: financial, health, family, relationships, personal/spiritual, or career. Vision boards can be created around a general wish for success, or it can be specific, such as a promotion, a new house or a published book. Most vision boards are done on poster board and use magazine cutouts or computer image printouts.

A mind map is more of a plan. It is a brainstorm of words, starting with a single idea, and branching out as more specific ideas branch off of the original one. It can also contain sketches to capture an idea.

Up until now I used vision boards (those visiting my home know I have two or three posted in my office), as well as mind maps for when I want to draft a project from just an idea.

Or, I use Wordle, which uses creative word imagery to create a vision of success. If one idea in this vision is larger than others, you enter the representative word more than once, and it appears larger on the final product. You can't save it offline, but it is free, and I always did a "print screen" and copied it onto a Word document.

I did one for our move to New Jersey and I love how accurately it describes our current life.

My New Vision Tool

Last week I found a new method to visualize my dreams. It is a Mind Movie. Here is my first Mind Movie. It is 3.5 minutes long, and fun to make.

This movie incorporates my own affirmations and images, as well as images and music from the Mind Movie program.

Affirmations are positive statements about your future life, stated in the present. "I have a successful business," is an affirmation. "My relationship is fun and loving," works well. Avoid negatives like, "I stay out of debt," or "I don't have any bills." With the last one, the law of attraction states you will attract "don't" and "bills." We don't want that... or rather... (ahem) we want positive opportunities.

To set the intention for success, return to the movie each morning to set success in your mind. Do it for 30 days, and these images, words and sounds are burned into your mind like your own memory. This works for vision boards, audio files (record your own then listen), or word boards (like Wordle or a mind map) as well.

I plan to make shorter Mind Movies, with more focus (such as finance) but more general (that appeal to a broader audience). Hopefully these will be ones you can use as well. I'll let you know when more are complete.

In the meantime, I will use my new mind movie to help create success.

What is your dream? Is it a specific area of your life? How do you visualize its success? Let me know, I'd love to hear from you.

Do you know someone who will enjoy a weekly dose of Metaphysical motherhood (and fatherhood)? Forward this link where they can subscribe at any time. We never sell, rent or lend email addresses. Subscriber emails are only used to send weekly metaphysical insights, and links to interesting articles.

Facebook link: http://www.facebook.com/MetaphysicalLife

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Metaphysical Mom Book Cover Choices

2011-04-15T07:59:00.000-04:00

Mom and Child

As I edit the final chapters of Metaphysical Mom: 5 Minutes to Calm, I have received an extraordinary opportunity to create the perfect book cover.

Elan Sun Star, inspirational photographer, has provided beautiful images for me to choose, and I need help!

Mom Birthing the World

Here are mock-ups of book covers. plus two photographs which can also be used. There seem to be two favorites, but before I narrow them down for good, I'd like your unbaised, intuitive opinion on all six.

If you follow me on facebook, twitter or linkedin, you have an opportunity to comment there as well.

Thank you!!

Joyful Mom

Celebrating Mom

Creative Mom

(Two of these don't have covers, but can replace other photos.)

Happy Mom

And to finish this assortment of beautiful photos, here is one of my favorite quotes: "Be the change you wish to see in the world." ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Have a beautiful day.

The Self-Aware Parent, live chat with author Cathy Cassani Adams

2011-04-10T09:35:00.018-04:00

Transcript of CHAT with Cassani Adams ~ Tuesday April 12th.

Author of, The Self-Aware Parent 19 Lessons For Growing With Your Children, Cathy Cassani Adams, LCSW, PCI Certified Parent Coach was live online, April 12th.

The Self Aware Parent By Cathy Cassani Adams, provided a compelling view of becoming a new mother. She gave us a glimpse of her parenting occurrences through her personal looking glass.

Cathy shares her heartfelt moments as she discusses her personal parenting discoveries, triumphs and tragedies. Giving herself time to grieve for her old life so she could fully move into her new parenting role, the importance of self-care and the identity crisis from going from a professional career to being a mom are just a few of the insightful personal experiences she profoundly shares. The Self Aware Parent is full of remarkable insights on how to help your children work through their emotions while including reminders how by staying present in your parenting moments you will able to savor the experiences.

Cathy provides a beautifully illuminating example on how not to take your child's behavior personally. See how Cathy looks for teachable moments and is able to reach her children at their personal level. The Self Aware Parent is a powerful reminder how you as parents can play a powerful role in helping your children find the joy in learning so they are motivated to find their passions and become life long learners and creators.

Cathy Cassani Adams is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, A PCI Certified Parent Coach, a certified elementary school teacher and a yoga instructor.

Learn more about Cathy at www.cathycassaniadams.com

Follow Cathy on Facebook

Follow Cathy's Blog

Zen Parenting Radio

When: Recorded April 12th

Where:
In Intentional Conscious Parenting's Blogfrog Community.You can access their online interactive parenting community anytime by clicking here!

~ Live countdown to each new chat in the upper right hand corner of Intentional Conscious Parenting.

Time: 9 PM Eastern, 8 PM Central, 7 PM Mountain, 6 PM Pacific

Prizes: Join in for a chance to win a copy of the authors' books

Sponsors: Kindle Mental Publishing Company ~ Feelings Poster

Kindle Mental's Facebook Page

Blessed Elements Going Green; Grace donated a handcrafted Green Man necklace! Have you liked Grace on Facebook yet?

Thank You! Angels, children's picture book written by: Doreen Virtue courtesy of Hay House Publishing

Sign up for their newsletter to keep in touch and stay informed of upcoming chats, reviews and giveaways!

Cluttered House: A Sign of a Cluttered Mind?

2011-04-08T14:07:00.003-04:00

Get Rid of Clutter and Change Your State of Mind by Leigh Harris

Clutter affects the environment and energy of your house. What appears as simple overabundance of physical objects triggers energetic and emotional responses.

Think about your own home environment. How do you feel in different areas of your home?

Often you walk in from the garage, and an automatic to-do list hits your mind. Jackets need to be hung up, dinner made, and laundry sorted. Just once you would like to grab a cold drink and head out to relax on the patio, but distractions beckon. With increasing irritation, you notice the hall filled with shoes thrown off haphazardly, or the bathroom floor covered with scattered towels. You would like to sit down and enjoy a moment of peace on the patio, if the mess would just go away.

Each moment has its share of joy and frustrations, but there are moments in a parent’s life when the aggravation of clutter is overwhelming.

For example, Janie was so preoccupied with finances that she allowed clutter to build in her house, only adding to the stress. When we reorganized her duties, she listed items that accumulated into clutter such as mail, magazines, plastic leftover containers and last season’s footwear.

She resolved to sort, recycle, stack and put away these items.

I cautioned her, however, that clutter sometimes indicates emotional attachment. If the emotion is still present, the clutter will simply reappear. It is a symptom, having an emotional hold on a memory, fear or hope.

Clutter stems from the psychological effects of life lessons.

Perhaps as a child, you learned from your parents to squirrel away the food, dishes, and even your own socks, for the future was uncertain. Perhaps you learned that a bare kitchen meant you lacked the money for basic necessities. Or perhaps the many gifts and trinkets that fill your shelves remind you of how far you’ve come in life. Either could still be true for Janie.

In each case, clutter is a symbol for something both deeper and greater than the items themselves.

Let go of clutter - in 5 Minutes

For a collection of items to release its emotional hold on you, take five minutes to consider what having those items means to you.

If someone were to take them all away today, how would you feel? What memories would this stir up? Allow yourself to keep these memories, but release the emotional control they have over you.

Simply say, “that was a difficult time in my (or my parents’) life and I’m feeling some anxiety about it. I allow myself to feel anxiety, but it no longer controls how I feel about the present.” Don’t fight your feelings, instead, let them go.

Or, “it reminds me of my grandmother, whom I was extremely close to. Giving it away feels like I don’t care.” Notice your feelings of love for your grandmother and allow them to stay, but let go of the guilt associated with this object.

Once you understand what the clutter in your life symbolizes, it will no longer be a burden.*

How does clutter affect your life? What changes can you make to clear clutter, and clear your mind?

*Another short excerpt from Leigh's forthcoming book. To receive notice of publication, sign up on the blog email list, top right corner of this article. Or follow MetaphysicalLife on facebook

5 Minutes is an Opportunity

2011-04-05T09:46:00.004-04:00

The last six months have been incredibly busy, as my book nears completion. With a month as an aggressive goal to complete editing, I considered going completely offline for a few weeks.

Instead, I'm going to share with you short excerpts of my book. I hope you enjoy them. Take care - Leigh.

Five minutes is powerful. It changes the course of your day, brings a sense of peace among chaos, or even creates a new future. Five minutes is an opportunity.

Yet, the gift of five minutes is often forgotten.

Thanks to overwhelming responsibilities of being a mother, a wife, and an income earner, in the evening you’d give anything for five minutes of peace - and a burst of energy from your exhausted body. Your spouse, if you have one, would love to see you energized too, but you can only imagine lying comatose in front of the television.

You are spent because each day, life feels like a runaway roller coaster. You can’t take five minutes to test the brakes, although you know they are wearing thin.

If you take a moment for reflection, or a warm cup of tea, you realize life’s mundane activities are only a small part of each day’s priorities, yet it is difficult to get past them. Do you really exist for overbooked meetings and household messes? Then why does your life revolve around them?

One of my students, Janie, complained that her life was so busy that she didn’t have time to look for a job. “Being a mom,” she said, “is a full time job, yet our family needs the second income. Half my day I spend searching for ways to save money. I search through grocery flyers. I mend clothes. The kids have to wear their clothes twice, or I scrub individual spots out so I don’t have to waste water and detergent. The kids’ new clothes are from the discount rack or from a second hand store. Planning dinner is the biggest headache.”

“Meat is so expensive!” she burst out, hiding her face and her tears behind her hands.

What Janie didn’t realize was she was so busy counting her pennies, she didn’t have time to bring in dollars.

When I explained this she realized her priorities were in the wrong place. Stress and anxiety had so overwhelmed her she couldn’t see beyond the day’s money-saving tasks.

In this emotional trap she could not present strength and confidence to her next employer.

In between résumé work, we reorganized her days for grocery shopping, laundry and household chores. We also created a realistic budget and she committed three days a week to job search.

It was definitely a start.

The muck and mire of daily stress pulls us back from the journey towards serenity and self-actualization, yet stress is inevitable in life. The key is to work with stress and move forward. Life wouldn’t be fulfilling if there weren’t challenges to overcome. So choose this time to take five minutes for yourself.

When given a choice between sweeping the dog hair off the floor, or engaging in silent meditation, which do you choose? If guilt drives you to sweep the dog hair, then reexamine your motivations. The stress of guilt will only slow you down. Let the guilt go, and choose to meditate while you sweep. The Karate Kid learned more than he realized when his Master told him to “wax on, wax off.” While only cleaning a car, he prepared his mind and body for greater understanding in the martial arts. The activities in life don’t exist just to go through the motions. There is often purpose behind them. You sweep because you take pride in your beautiful floor, or you are conscious of maintaining a clean surface for your toddler. And that dog hair? It only exists because of an affectionate black lab that wags his tail every time he looks at you.

If you are prepared for the lesson, every activity offers an opportunity for growth, knowledge and peace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Is it Help or Hindrance?

2011-04-01T13:18:00.003-04:00

I like to help others. I have such a deep desire to do this that I itch to make it the top comment on my resume or profile.

Help Others

I’ve always been in a helping profession, even while teaching or directing.

However, with friends and family, I have less objectivity than at work. With family, I want to jump in to rescue, to change, to provide tools. I want to help. But recently I received strong indications that my help was a bit of a hindrance. In one case I sent an email to a few people, full of options of how we all could help some others. Many people do this, but most often they focus on a world crisis. This was personal, between a few people. Though I got a discussion going, some of it was, “what are you thinking, Leigh?” Apparently some levels of help are overkill.

Yesterday I spoke to my sister for a long time. She is incredibly talented, and speaks about brilliant ideas to work with more people in her area of specialty: nutrition. Yesterday I became a coach, instead of a sister. I listened to her wants, then urged her to take action and challenged her doubts.

I could tell she was feeling a bit of stress. When I got off the phone I realized, maybe there is a reason for her hesitations. Maybe she doesn’t need me coaching her about her future. Maybe she can simply enjoy the present and see how the future unfolds. Maybe I can simply listen.

Listening is the Best Form of Help

Sometimes help is better when you simply listen, let others take care of themselves, and learn their own lessons. If I listened instead of “helped,” I wouldn’t have sent that email. The end result could have been the same, but without the overkill. If I simply listened to my sister, maybe she wouldn’t have felt stress. I don’t know. I only know the path I chose.

This can be frustrating. I know I offer objective, listening-type help to students, colleagues, employees. But with family, I get too close and can’t see my own helpful offerings with the same objectivity.

However, I believe that everything happens for a reason, and sometimes that reason is to learn a lesson. In this case the lesson is to let others learn their own lesson.

This isn’t a fairy tale world. We aren’t always rescued by the prince. If we were, wouldn’t stay in a situation long enough to figure out how to resolve it the next time. We need to NOT be rescued long enough to figure out the solution on our own.

I’m a firm believer that we repeat our lessons until we learn them. If someone else rescues us, we don’t learn those lessons.

There are times when help is needed. These are:

1. When someone asks.

2. When it involves a child and you can help their development.

I picture helping as a side-by-side venture. With you having equal power or decision-making to the person you help.

But what if we simply support? I see support as providing a backup, a source to lean on, to cheer. They are still the leader in their lesson. They make the final decision. They don’t need a prince to rescue them. They need stairs to walk down themselves.

Whether we support family, friends, students or staff, everyone has life lessons to learn. It is up to us to support them while they build those stairs.

This is a Contest I Want to Win!

2011-04-01T11:01:00.000-04:00

A couple months ago, I added another item to my Christmas list: A Kindle. I've decided that is what I want more than anything. I know Christmas is 8 months away, but I thought I'd put my dibs in early.

And then I discovered something online: CountryLife4Me is giving away 2 prizes. A kindle 3 and $50 cash via paypal. If this looks like an opportunity for you too, Enter Here . However, I'm doing what I can to win, and that includes telling you about it.

So, please send positive thoughts, winning thoughts, thoughts of abundance (but specifically targeted to this new Kindle 3).

Have a great week!

Send Love to Japan - But Do This First

2011-03-21T17:02:00.001-04:00

This weekend I wanted to write a post to help Japan's crisis. It would have been a post you might expect from Metaphysical Mom, focusing on promoting volunteer opportunities, sending financial help, and sending healing thoughts to the people and communities of Japan.

I stumbled because I didn't want to write about the fear of devastation, the overwhelm of cleanup, the worry of radiation, the heartbreak of lives lost. This event is overwhelmingly catastrophic, I can't imagine how someone still alive in Japan can begin to deal with the events and move forward. I wanted to focus on helping them think positive, but I didn't know where to start.

Then a wise friend reminded me of something important. Rahi, a member of our Think Simple Now team, told me this: "For any healing to happen, one very important thing is acceptance of the fear. The minute you acknowledge fear, you bring it to your conscious mind. The terror associated with fear at the subconscious level, constricts your energy. When you bring it to the open, the grip starts loosening...when that happens you have a foothold to work with."

She speaks a profound truth, one we often forget to acknowledge.
When we face our fears, when we acknowledge our feelings, we can bring them into the open, which gives us an opportunity to let them go. The moment we try to tamp them down, to make them go away, to ignore them, or to cover them with positive thoughts, the fear buries itself. If we allow it to surface and deal with the feeling, it will dissipate.

One fearful (or sad, upsetting, or anxiety-producing) event brings back related memories and creates further fear, but if we can just sit with the physical feeling of fear (or related feeling), we no longer resist. The moment may be frightening, but without resistance, the future can be brighter.

So, while I no longer watch the news on Japan more than a few minutes at a time (too much news will create fear again, and again, and again), I will allow myself to feel sad. I will allow the overwhelm to surface.

And in accepting this sadness, I (and you) can move on. Then, when you think of the struggle of the Japanese people, you can move forward and feel love and hope for them. I will continue to donate, and to share others' efforts where I can. There is strength in action. There is more strength in facing a fear, then moving forward with loving action.

What fear does the Japan crisis trigger for you? How will you process it? Then, how can you help the people of Japan?

I'd love to hear from you!

If you enjoyed this, please pass it on, share it or retweet it from the links below.

Overcoming Shyness

2011-03-18T12:59:00.001-04:00

On Think Simple Now, Tina and I are creating a course on overcoming shyness, which may include speaking up in public, meeting new people, becoming more confident, overcoming guilt, or fear of rejection.

Do you have a suggestion or question related to shyness, or to the other subjects above? If so, click on the link in our short intro and answer one question. In exchange, you will receive the course for free.

Enjoy your week!

Do you know someone who may benefit from a weekly dose of Metaphysical motherhood (and fatherhood)? If so, forward this link where they can subscribe at any time. We never sell, rent or lend email addresses. Subscriber emails are only used to send weekly metaphysical insights, and links to interesting articles.

Kick start Your Creativity

2011-03-15T20:03:00.001-04:00

I’m in love with a new restaurant, and I haven’t eaten there yet. The Zinburger has a great online menu which includes their signature item: burger with zinfandel braised onions and manchego cheese. Red zinfandel and manchego are two of my favorites. And who thought to add them to an otherwise ordinary burger?

Zinburger did it, and in doing so took a common idea (the burger) and created something unique.

With millions of burger stops in the US, few of us think about the inspiration needed to create a successful new burger enterprise. Many of us would love to experience the thrill of that inspiration.

Seth Godin, author of Tribes and a dozen other books, recently created a publishing company backed by Amazon. He is trying a new out-of-the-box idea, launching the ebook, audio book and hard copy at the same time. Publishing has been done before, but here Seth created new twists.

Creativity is within all of us, but fear stops us from taking the next step forward. What if we fail? Seth Godin says, “I’m going to keep failing my way up.” If we hesitate to create; if we let fear stop us, we won’t succeed.

Overcoming this fear and hesitation is the key to a successful life, no matter what you do.

So, how can you add a creative kick to your career?

1. When did you last say, “I wish…”? I wish this could be done more quickly. I wish this was more interesting. I wish this didn’t cost so much. Any of these wishes could be the catalyst to a dynamic new idea.

2. What do you love about your career? Do you hear others saying the same thing? Pay attention to passion and desire, even if your career focuses on designing new pens or managing legal cases. Someone designed the first squishy section near the tip of the pen, so that everyone could hold their pen more comfortably. What passion creates something new for you?

3. Do you see a gap in a process? Offer to fill the gap. I once ran a small college, as part of a larger company. My primary purpose was to get it up and running, and control the budget. However, I noticed a lack of advertising. I offered to write some ads to kick start enrollment. My ads had a direct effect on inquiries, and I got the opportunity to do something creative.

Look for ways to fill the gap.

4. Let your mind wander, and take notes. The best inspiration comes out of connecting random thoughts. Keep notepads in your car, office, and bedroom. Take brief notes when something strikes and create something more structured later.

5. Where does the fear pop up? If you aren’t about to be hit by a truck, then fear is probably the only roadblock to your creative success. Recognize it, move it aside then push forward.

While there are many kick starts to creativity, they aren’t as effective without some down-to-earth advice: get plenty of sleep, exercise and healthy food. These help your brain to focus and think clearly.

What will you do today to add a creative kick to your efforts? I have some ideas of my own, and am adding a twist to an established trend. Time will tell if I’m right or not. And no, it isn’t burgers.

Temper Tantrums - An Opportunity to Teach Your Child How to Process Emotions

2011-03-09T14:00:00.000-05:00

Yvonne Perry offers insight via her article, "Temper Tantrums - An Opportunity to Teach Your Child How to Process Emotions.

Direct link: #c3088797106110303011

Our children can shut down their emotions, and their ability to process them in a healthy way. By allowing our children to find a path of healthy emotional expression, and an opportunity to talk about what is bothering them, we help them create tools to deal with life's upsets, for childhood and later in life.

See her full article on Intentional Conscious Parenting.

Working mom or Stay-at-home mom? The metaphysical perspective

2011-03-05T08:45:00.000-05:00

Of all the moms I know, most love (or really like) what they do each day during the week. Interestingly, some work, some focus on being home with their children, and some balance a part time job with stay-at-home-status. So why do these moms enjoy their routines, whether working or at home?

Working Mom:

1. Frequent adult communication – Have you ever come away from a meeting and felt a fusion of energy because of the great debate or inspiring decisions? That energy can keep you recharged for hours.

2. Independent income – money is an energy exchange. When you have your own income, it gives you a boost of energy. You can manage home expenses more effectively, get a nice pedicure or get a nicer couch. Another reason independent income is nice? Most people have financial memory issues (not enough money growing up, savings gone from the drop in the housing market, etc). That income gives you relief from money stress you may still be carrying from when you were young, or from when you were not so young.

3. Self-confidence – Confidence empowers your life. When you make decisions effectively, you feel the power in your gut, where your confidence chakra (the third chakra) lies. Confidence replaces the butterflies of fear in your stomach. Confidence straightens your posture. Confidence opens you to more confidence.

4. Brain exercise – When you make new decisions and learn new strategies, you strengthen new neural pathways in your brain. This helps you think more clearly and more flexibly, which you can apply to any area of your life. A challenging job can help you do this.

5. Personal growth – When you accept a new job or a new promotion, you give yourself a whole new set of responsibilities to challenge yourself. In addition, if you learn in your spare time (for example, how to feel a zen moment in the middle of stress), you can practice it at work.

Stay-at-home Mom (SAHM):

1. Be a pillar of support for your children – Children always need you, even when they reach the teens and announce they can make all their decisions on their own, thank-you-very-much. Being home provides more opportunity for spontaneous and much needed conversations about what they learn each day, through school or through their peers. Being home while they go to college can also provide this same sense of support.

2. More time for yourself – SAHM’s are busy. I know very few who have time to watch soap operas and eat bon-bons (despite this being the running joke for our working husbands). However, when grocery shopping, meal planning, laundry, house cleaning and dog walking can all be done in the day, it leaves more evening time for ourselves and with our husband. Plus, we can always squeeze in coffee or lunch with a friend during the week.

3. Creative time – Being at home, while children are in school, provides time to be creative and pursue passions. Volunteering, writing, gardening, a new class, or other interests can provide a creative outlet and a sense of accomplishment.

4. Healthier family – As a current SAHM, I love that my vegetable drawers are always full, that we don’t do instant dinners. When I worked, the freezer aisle was my favorite, and take out occurred once a week. While working parents can keep their family healthy, it seems to be easier for a SAHM.

5. Save money – Sure there is only one source of income, but there are also savings for daycare/after school care, cleaning, gas for commuting, extra car insurance, work clothes, and even convenience food (take out, etc) and grocery delivery. I estimate our family saves about $1500 per month because I am home.

From this perspective, it isn’t a case of one being better than the other. Each job has its own opportunities. For some people, they may have the chance to pull the best from both worlds. I know my working world is getting busier, even as I officially title myself a stay-at-home-mom. Perhaps I need to watch a soap opera and eat bon-bons while I still have a chance!

Which are you? Working mom or stay at home mom? What do you love about what you do? Is there anything from the “other side” which you would like to incorporate into your life? How would you do it?

4 Lessons from (Weather) Crisis

2011-02-28T22:10:00.000-05:00

Until mid-February, the local weather was horrible. Snow was piled so high, it was difficult to see the traffic around the corner. The sparkling snowdrifts were deceiving. Two inches of solid ice coated the top. Pathways became treacherous. Almost 50 inches of snow fell in parts of the state.

And though I complained occasionally, the weather here wasn’t even close to the weather experienced in other parts of the world. Australia had floods and cyclones. New Zealand had a massive earthquake and Chicago had high-speed winds and power outages.

Extreme weather always surprises people, as if they expect a normal winter. They voice frustration and disbelief. But they also show crisis attitudes - friendly, hopeful and helpful.

Half the homeowners on our street have lived here since the houses were built in 1985. They have experienced New Jersey weather, and they all own snow blowers. This winter, our snow shovel has worked hard, but three neighbors also assisted us to clear snow on different days. They have done our sidewalk a few times, they let us borrow a snow blower a couple times, and they even did our whole driveway once or twice. I think we all got tired of clearing snow again and again, but the occasional help was done cheerfully and willingly.

And that wasn’t the only willingness I observed. After the ice (and wind) storm, I saw a garbage can in the middle of a busier street. I stopped my car, put on my flashers, and moved it off the road. The icy streets made it a greater hazard than usual. Anyone would have done this, I’m sure, even on a warm, spring day. What was unusual, however, was the gentleman behind me. I waved him around me, and he waved back. “I’m in no rush. I’ll wait for you,” was his gestured reply.

Extreme weather brings out the kindness and patience in people. I saw news reports of neighbors in Australia helping each other sandbag properties before the first storm. New Zealand emergency crew and citizens worked feverishly to pull collapsed walls away from trapped neighbors.

Why does extreme weather bring out the best in people? The most obvious answer: we help because we want everyone to be safe. But it is more than simple safety. In a big crisis, like an earthquake, or in a small crisis, like two feet of snow, we band together, a collective supportive team. With nine snowfalls so far this year, I have spoken to my neighbors more often in the past six weeks than I probably did all last year.

What have I learned from this?

1. It feels good to help someone else. When we lack control in one way (the weather), it is empowering to take control in another way (helping a neighbor).

And we empower that helper by accepting their help gratefully, and willingly.

We also help because we feel good about making someone else’s life a bit better. It is why we volunteer. It is why we plan monthly birthday celebrations at work. It is why we hold the door open for the elderly, or for the mom with the stroller.

2. People just need an opportunity to express their natural kindness.

I have seen how kind my neighbors are. I won’t hesitate to ask for help if I need it, knowing I can repay it in different ways, or pay it forward to someone else.

3. People feel good when reminded of how helpful they’ve been.

We can thank a neighbor for helping us in the winter, and return an offer to watch their house in the summer while they go away. This not only reminds them of their generosity, it shows them they are appreciated.

4. We can replicate that feeling of being united.

Whenever there is a crisis, people work collectively. It is a survival instinct.

But to learn from it, we must take the lesson and make a change. I can reproduce that feeling of goodwill I felt with my neighbors, in a different way. Perhaps we’ll do a neighborhood BBQ this summer. Maybe I’ll just bake cookies for everyone, or make a big batch of salsa from the salsa garden I’m planning this year.

Unity is a good thing to keep alive.

It is so easy to get complacent. To fall back on old habits. Our brains are wired to retrace the route we perform most often, so it is difficult to form a new habit. But what we'll remember in twenty years won’t be who had the snowblower, but the friendship made because of it.

Do we need more weather crises to get to know our neighbors? No. We just need to act with those crisis attitudes – friendly, hopeful and helpful.

How to Stay Relevant During the Job Search

2011-02-24T06:38:00.001-05:00

Job seekers want to appear current in the job market, but many feel joblessness strips away their professional image. The average duration of unemployment is much longer than a few years ago, though it will eventually turn around. Until it does, it is essential to look up-to-date and relevant, ready for the next job opportunity.
So how do you stay relevant?

1. Monitor the attitude you project

Your attitude shows. Ensure it is the one you want to demonstrate. Dress for work every day. Project a polished image. Show confidence even if you have to pretend. Breathe deep and pull your shoulders back.

Own your strengths. Change the words, “I used to manage company mergers,” to “I specialize in innovative company growth.” Modify your thoughts. If you berate yourself for being out of work, start to think positively. “I have amazing qualities to offer. I have innovative ideas and always keep my eye on profit margins.” Post your qualities on the bathroom mirror to remind yourself what you bring to employers.

With today’s unemployment rate, jobless is shameless. Let people know where you stand. “My job fell with the economy, and I’m available to begin something new.” Make a point to create a visibly positive attitude.

2. Volunteer

When you are unemployed, volunteer. The only difference between a paid position and a volunteer position is the money. Yes, money is important, but that volunteer position keeps your resume full and gives you an opportunity to offer your assets to a non-profit organization. Volunteering may also lead to a job.

3. Connect with your industry

Local and online organizations, such as those on Meetup, keep you updated with industry changes. Professional online networks, such as LinkedIn, allow you to create a complete job-targeted profile for future employers. Industry and networking groups also find value there.

If your industry or community doesn’t have a group, start one.

Join a Rotary group, attend networking meetings and create dynamic connections by offering ideas while you exchange business cards.

4. Be creative

Some people wait for others to take the lead, so you might start your own networking group. Or set up a weekly support group for unemployed professionals. A mastermind-type group can hold each other accountable for job search and other career-building activities.

Connect with an industry blog. Comment with frequency and knowledge, adding value to the blogger and the readers, and creating visibility for you. Social media can help you bring your talents to the world.

Create a business card which stands out from the crowd. Be creative yet professional. Order inexpensive yet quality cards online from a place like Vistaprint (pay a few dollars so their logo is not on the back).

5. Focus on the pleasure hours of your life

Job search is eight hours or so a day. What could you do in your off hours? Perhaps you could try a yoga class, see a daytime movie or meet friends for coffee. Set yourself a goal: “After five cover letters and resumes are hand-delivered, I will meet Frank for lunch.” Stay focused when you need to, and learn to enjoy the other part of your life.

Sometimes things happen when you least expect it. When you follow the ideas above, your next conversation may be with a local corporate executive, who could invite you to your next job interview. This is when your relevance shows.

Leigh Harris has been a career and personal development coach for 15 years. She finds satisfaction helping clients create relevance outside their careers and within. Visit her website http://www.leigh-harris.com/

This article was originally posted on http://www.nejs.org/

How to Use Volunteering to Create Employment Opportunities

2011-02-17T06:31:00.003-05:00

Volunteering is an opportunity to experience new skills with new people. During a period of joblessness, it may also be your link back to employment. Use volunteer work to connect you to your next job opportunity.

What are the benefits of volunteer work to create your future job?

1. Current work experience

What does the work experience section of your resume tell your future employer? If you are out of work, there may be a glaring gap. Volunteer work is a valid and respectable way to fill the break in your chronological resume. Whether your unemployment length is 2 months or 2 years, offering your talents to a non-profit organization keeps your experience up to date.

Volunteering qualifies as work experience, though you’ll want to be careful how you describe this position. Employers know the number of people out of work, but still expect to be told where you earned your paychecks. Some volunteer positions don’t need explanation, such as, “Offer extensive organizational capacity on Board of Directors.” To clarify a less obvious volunteer position, try: “Event planning and fundraising, volunteering up to 40 hours a week.” This moves “volunteer” out of the title and into the description.

Employers want to see motivation present on your resume, and your volunteer work will provide proof.

2. Enhance your skills

When you volunteer for a new organization, you give them the benefit of your unique talents and create an opportunity to enhance your profile. You may be an excellent organizational manager. To keep your experience current, help to organize an upcoming event, offer to streamline the process with creative ideas, and be a valuable support for the event directors. Learn about event planning and fundraising, as well as meet other volunteers with valuable insight or even employer connections.

If your talent is working in construction, you can offer to work in a place like Habitat for Humanity. If accounting is your focus, non-profits and community organizations always need treasurers and accounting experts. In each situation you will discover a valuable exchange of knowledge.

3. Create new contacts

As you become involved in your volunteer work, you will meet new people. Your enthusiasm to contribute in a meaningful way will rub off on people you meet, who again may be contacts for future paid work.

Be open to other volunteers about your situation. Don’t say, “I’m just volunteering until I find a job.” This devalues the work both you and others do for the organization. Say, “I’m not currently working, and want to use this opportunity to bring my talents to a new organization. Perhaps I’ll learn something new, and I may discover paid work along the way. I hope to continue this volunteer work once I begin a new job.” Other volunteers will be more likely to offer you job leads if they know (1) You are looking, and (2) You want to continue volunteering when the new job starts.

4. Increase your current life satisfaction

You may volunteer to fill the gap in your resume, but if you find an organization you feel passionate about, and a position you feel confident about, you may discover personal satisfaction spilling over into your life. With purpose in your routine, your attitude will brighten. And that attitude can help you get a job.

Stay busy volunteering during unemployment and you could discover a renewed sense of purpose, a full resume, and a link into a job.

Leigh Harris has been a career and personal development coach for 15 years, 5 years in nonprofit organizations. In her spare time she volunteers, with satisfaction, for two organizations. Visit her her website http://www.leigh-harris.com/

This was originally posted on http://nejs.org/

5 Keys to Finding Love

2011-02-15T07:17:00.003-05:00

Lessons in finding love can hurt and they can be a steep learning curve. Sometimes I wish I had more answers, sooner, especially when it came to discovering the source of true love.

...click here to read further where it is posted on Think Simple Now.

By Leigh Harris

As Good As They Can Be, by Sally Marks

2011-02-14T06:43:00.006-05:00

I recently heard an interview with Maryrose Forsyth, author of The Real Estate of Relationships: Unveiling Practical Dating Solutions for the 21st Century on blog talk radio. For those who are looking for love, you may want to check out the interview for this helpful primer on sensible dating.

However, a side benefit (and an unintentional one on the author’s part) is this book can also be a helpful guide in other relationships as well. Maryrose explains that many relationships end because the couples weren’t looking for the same thing. If you both aren’t on the same page, then the relationship is doomed to fail. The same is true of friendships, work relationships etc. It boils down to our expectations of the person we are involved with.

For instance, my brother, Terry, is an extremely loyal friend. He has friends that have been a part of his life since he was five years old. Many of his childhood friendships stemmed from playing sports. However, as time went on, although Terry is still healthy and active, many of his friends became sick, old and feeble. In one case, his best friend for many years, Les, died. Yet, before Les passed away, Terry visited him in the hospital every day, and he still visits Les’ mom on a regular basis.

In my brother’s case, the dynamics of the friendship may have changed but not his loyalty. It is also interesting to note that Terry has no real expectations that his friends reciprocate with the same dedication that he demonstrates.

As a boy, and later as a man, I remember my mother chastising Terry that his friends did not reciprocate in the same fashion that he did. This tit for tat calculating system was very important to my mother. My mother had a lot of friends, but it was as though she kept a running total of favors exchanged. She was a very loyal friend, but if she didn’t receive what she felt was an even exchange, her friendship was withdrawn. Maybe not completely, but at least to a level that was suitable to my mother’s tastes.

This was not so important to Terry. He was not motivated by my mother’s system. He did what he wanted to do, regardless of any exchange of favors. I’m a beneficiary of my brother’s good nature and sense of loyalty. He helps me with my taxes every year, as he does with my siblings. Yet, there is nothing I am able to do in return for him (and yes, I do try).

However, most people are not as accepting as my brother. Most of us want a friend who gives as much as they receive in the friendship. This is very much like Maryrose’s book. Just as you want to date someone in the same commitment category as you are, the same holds true for other relationships, including friendships.

In the case of family dynamics this isn’t always possible. People have their own level of commitment and we can’t force them to behave the way we would act. One way is not necessarily better than another, it is just what that person has adopted to be the level that works the best for them.

That is not to say that if you are a loyal person that you must give 100% in your relationships and expect nothing in return. It is more a matter of understanding what category, or type of friendship, the other person is offering. From there, you can make a choice about whether or not this level of commitment is something you are comfortable with.

Throughout our lives we are going to have a variety of friends. Some friendships will evolve in sync with our lives, others will not. Sometimes time is the enemy. The relationship is still there, but priorities are given to other matters.

The important thing is to understand what you want, what you are comfortable giving and what (if anything) you expect in return. For some, like my brother, if you are his friend, he will be there for you. He doesn’t need for you to be in his same “friendship category”. For some, like my mother, the give and take must be pretty close to a 50/50 exchange and the category needs to be a tight fit.

The bottom line is that before you invest a lot of time, emotion and care in any relationship, understand your needs, the needs of others, and make sure that the two are in agreement. We do not have to have committed friendships with everyone. Sometimes it is in our best interest not to.

But remember, the choice is still yours. And remember, although people may not live up to our expectations, they are as good as they can be for that particular time in their life.

by Sally Marks

What is your relationship expectation? How do you provide your own sense of balance or your own needs?

Sally Marks is the president of Marks Public Relations and the co-author of the self-improvement book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within. For more information visit http://www.erasenegativity.com/.

How to Know You will Achieve Your Goals

2011-02-07T20:38:00.005-05:00

What is your purpose?

Do you absolutely, without any doubt, believe you will accomplish your purpose? Neither do I, except in one case: I know I will publish my book.

In this case, I get to cheat a little, if I want to. For my purpose, I have a safety net: Self publish. This isn't my goal, but perhaps having a backup is just enough for me to build my confidence into pure conviction.

With a backup plan, you can let go of your fear and focus on your dream.

However, for most goals, having a backup plan isn't enough. Want to start your own business? You can't accomplish your goal if you give the idea to someone else to start. Do you want to become a fundraising executive? It isn't the same if you settle for door to door sales (though this may be your first step). The backup is only useful if you continue to focus on your purpose.

So, how do I know I will publish my book? I know because I have commitment. Also, I continue to learn, write and take advice. Beyond these steps, there is one big one. I step over hurdles, without letting them snag me and pull me down. And this is often the difference between success and the backup plan.

It is like being a millionaire. We all want to be a millionaire, but we don't all KNOW we can. There are too many memories of defeat (agreeing to a joint venture that didn't live up to its expectations), lessons gone wrong (investing in a market that subsequently tanks), and poor choices (accepting the first salary offer without knowing there was room for negotiation). Unfortunately, we keep the loss, bad lessons and poor decisions in the back of our mind while we attempt to create a millionaire life.

Those memories which we keep inside only serve to drag us down. Those memories are the sludge that keep us from fulfilling our vision, our purpose.

This is the true law of attraction. We attract what we believe in our unconscious. In order to attract what our passion and purpose is, we must build walkways across the sludge. We must pull our feet out of it.

Feel Your Purpose, with Conviction

Let go of bad behaviors, memories, and whatever else may keep you down. Embrace the success you want until you KNOW it is a pure unfiltered force for the law of attraction. When you KNOW, circumstances come up which may have derailed you in the past. Now they are fleeting moments you easily let go while you fulfill your purpose.

Laura Day, in her book The Circle, calls this your New Reality. It is a powerful process, and includes the ups and downs of real success. Knowing what your New Reality is, understanding your purpose intimately, will help to guide you to succeed.

What is your purpose?

What blocks your path?

How will you move forward anyways, and with conviction?

Smiles to brighten your parenting day

2011-02-03T07:11:00.004-05:00

Sharing laughter about childhood

Comments are courtesy of forwarded email. If you know who wrote it, let me know and I'll give them full credit.

What Is Butt Dust??

What, you ask, is 'Butt dust'? Read on and you'll discover the joy in it! These are fun, original and genuine

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister... After a while he asked: 'Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?'

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. 'I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window.'

BRITTANY (age 4) had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it has a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does it know it's me?'

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. 'Please don't give me this juice again,' she said, 'It makes my teeth cough..'

DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: 'How much do I cost?'

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried when his Mom asked what has troubling him, he replied, 'I don't know what will happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?'

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: Why is he whispering in her mouth?'

TAMMY(age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, Why doesn't your skin fit your face?'

JAMES (age 4)was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: 'The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.' Concerned, James asked: 'What happened to the flea?'

Kids say the darnest things.....

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget...

This particular Sunday sermon....'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. Without you, we are but dust...' He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust?'

Love, light, and a mountain of laughter,
Leigh

Characteristics of an Indigo Child by Carol Lawrence

2011-01-31T06:20:00.001-05:00

Carol, of Intentional Conscious Parenting, succinctly describes an Indigo Child. http://www.intentionalconsciousparenting.com/2011/01/characteristics-of-indigo-children.html

Carol also has an active blogfrog community. Perhaps you can connect to her there and discuss: Does your child have Indigo characteristics? Or you can leave a comment below. We'd love to hear from you.

Namaste, Leigh

Filling in the Gap Between Success and Failure

2011-01-24T06:25:00.004-05:00

by Sally Marks

There is a unit of time that does not have an official name, but it is a crucial link between success and failure. It is the time between “wanting to do something” and actually doing it. As a youngster, this time period was often prefaced by, “When I’m a grown up.” Later it evolved to “When the kids grow up” or “When I have more time”.

I’ve always been pretty good at meeting deadlines, at least as an adult. I have all my unforgiving journalism professors to thank for that. But when it comes to unofficial deadlines, the game can get a bit trickier. After all, life doesn’t always come with the motivation of a good grade, or the threat of a nasty editor.

I don’t like to think of myself as lazy, or even as someone who procrastinates (more on that later – ha ha). Yet, life threw me a little reminder that I could turn my refrain for “I’ll do it another day” to a life of sloth if I didn’t change a few habits.

A case in point.

I had feng shui practitioner Lisa Montgomery perform her skills and knowledge to enhance and increase the positive qui of my home. One of the cures to prevent negative energy from hitting my happy abode included placing a bagua (a yellow, wooden, octagon with a mirror in the center) over my garage door. The street comes to a T right in front of our driveway, and that can throw a bit of negative vibes our way. This little bagua has been perched in its location for quite some time. Then one day we had a nasty wind storm and the bagua, like Humpty Dumpty, had a big fall. Fortunately nothing was broken. All I had to do was put it back up on its little perch.

However, I was on my way out, so I just picked up the bagua, put it on my spouse’s truck, and vowed I would return the feng shui device when I came home. Of course, I did not return the bagua to its resting spot. I’m vertically challenged and I knew I would have to get the ladder out to accomplish this feat. And it was cold and rainy. “I’ll do it another day,” I told myself. Several days passed and I still hadn’t replaced the bagua.

I thought about the little bagua every day. I even fretted over it a bit. Yet, there it sat on the hood of CB’s truck. As each day passed, I noticed it got increasingly difficult to perform this task. It took on a life of its own. What would’ve been a simple, five-minute task became a real drain on my psyche.

Then one day I pulled in the driveway and noticed the bagua once again. I felt myself grimace as I thought about the task in front of me. “I’ll do it another day,” I thought. Then I stopped myself. “Why am I putting this off?” I asked. “It’s not cold or rainy. I do not have a pressing deadline. The only reason I’m not doing this is because I’ve let my brain turn this little task into a monumental feat.”

So I opened the garage, took out the ladder and put the bagua back to its spot above the garage door. It was done in less than five minutes. Angels didn’t sing the hallelujah chorus and I didn’t feel a surge of positive energy, but the task was done. My only thought was “Why did I wait so long to do this?”

I remember a bit of advice that I learned. When faced with multiple tasks, always do the most unpleasant chore first, then the rest is easy.

It also made me think of the mentors' chapter or “I’ll Get By With A Little Help From My Friends” section of my self-help book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within.

The following excerpt is an anecdote Entrepreneur Tammy Dantonio cites from her encounter with her mentor, Tony.

“Tony was always so motivated and I’d ask him how he did it,” said Tammy. “He would create these characters. He called them Mr. Positive and Mr. Negative. He said he’d lay in bed in the morning, not wanting to get up. He said Mr. Negative would tempt him stay in bed saying, 'Tony, sleep. Sleep is good. Sleep, Tony. Sleep.' But then he would pantomime Mr. Positive cheering him on to jump out of bed and face the day. He said often, Mr. Positive and Mr. Negative would have words with one another. Often times, Mr. Positive would have to kick Mr. Negative’s ass. It was a funny motivator, but it worked for him and it works for me. It’s not always about goodness and light. Sometimes you just have to grit your teeth, throw back the covers and kick Mr. Negative’s butt.”

The same is true of closing the gap between “thinking about doing something” and taking action. Whether it’s pursuing a dream, starting an exercise program, eating better or mowing the lawn, procrastination is not your friend. Think about Mr. or Ms. Positive and doing what it takes to close the gap between success and failure. Now go out there and kick some butt!

by Sally Marks

Sally Marks is the president of Marks Public Relations and the co-author of the self-improvement book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within. For more information visit http://www.erasenegativity.com/.

How to Feel Fear, Then Respond with Calm - The New Food Safety Act

2011-01-20T14:51:00.001-05:00

I almost made a mistake today. Ok, I probably make mistakes every day, but this one was wrapped up in fear and overreaction.

I read a facebook post about the new Food Safety Act. I became afraid. The post provided a link which led me to believe I wouldn't be able to buy some vitamins after the Act went into effect. If I believed the post, it also seemed as if all organic farms, seeds and backyard gardens would be in jeopardy. No vitamins? No organic backyard gardens? An outrage! Imagine only being able to consume mass manufactured / grown / modified foods. It is simply too Big Brother horrible to imagine.

Unfortunately, I continued to read the comments under the article. "How can the government do this?" I thought, as I read on and on. My heart raced. I noticed my own fear building.

I then made a mistake. I posted the link on my facebook profile, without research. Reaction without foresight or calm.

How could I have dealt with my fear?

Lesson #1. Feel fear, but without immediate reaction. Fear is natural. Suppressing it is not helpful. Allow the energy of fear to build in your body and escape, like a hole in a balloon or bubbles in a carbonated soda. The reaction is separate from the energy of fear.

Lesson #2. Take a deep breath. Breathing allows perspective, space. It separates you from feeling so tied to the situation that you can't think straight. Breath to bring yourself back to your own body, out of the situation.

Lesson #3. Analyze the facts. What report did the article reference? Read the report. Read other editorials and articles on this issue. Is this article reporting facts, or doing fear-based rumor-spreading? I almost did the latter by leaving a link on facebook without knowing all the answers.

So, I missed step one - I reacted immediately. Fortunately step 2 and 3 kicked in with some online research.

And what did I find? Articles (recently printed - this Act has had many changes) from news services such as the Huffington Post and the Houston Press, as well as a comment from Snopes, the online site which discusses internet rumors and urban legends. There are concerns about this new Act, but most concerns are unfounded, at least at this point.

After I had the facts I wanted to respond to my own post, but in the end deleted it altogether.

Lesson #4: Happiness is being able to undo a mistake. This option isn't always available. If I sent an email or text, or left a voice message somewhere else, undoing isn't an option. That is the sort of mistake worth being scared about.

Lesson #5: The biggest lesson I learned is the importance of forming an opinion based on facts, not fear, not hype. But fear can be useful. When the facts lead our society down a dangerous path, it is up to us to respond to that danger in any way possible. With fear as momentum, it is easier to act. However, facts make it easier to pass on a compelling and rational argument. Government changes require fact. A passionate public spurs them to act.

PS. Though initial fears were unfounded, there still is concern that the wording in the HR2751 FDA Food Safety Modernization Act leaves the FDA with too much power to regulate farms and producers with more than $500,000 in sales. (What new regulations must a farmer with $500,001 in sales follow, for example? I would still consider them a small business.)

What do you think of this new act? Are fears justified? Now that Obama has signed it, what can we continue to do to hold the FDA accountable to its residents and citizens?

Intentions Can Manifest Through Effort and Focus

2011-01-11T13:52:00.001-05:00

We all have a purpose in life, and the steps to fulfill it can change from year to year. However, purpose is what gives us the drive to succeed, the target to aim for, the push forward when we hit a rut. When we know we are on the right path, it feels right, and sometimes the universe lets us know it IS right.

My primary goal is writing. It is my new year's resolution, my target, my purpose.

After a couple months of fairly dedicated writing, I started to notice the synchronicities. These are, in my belief, the checkmark from the universe. "Yep, you got it!" "That was the right step." Sometimes the synchronicities relate to my actual writing, and sometimes they simply indicate my power of intention (or law of attraction) is going in the right direction.

Over the past few weeks for example, each time I complete another solid chunk of my book, I go online to check facebook or my inbox, or I sit at the table to read the newspaper. Inevitably, the subject I just completed pops up within half an hour. The strange but wonderful thing is that the synchronized subject is not just from my overall chapter, but from the subsection or paragraph that I just completed. It gives me chills. Sometimes it makes me laugh. The synchronicities when I'm in this zone are just so crazy, and obvious. (I wish I could always be in this zone:))

Other times I find myself mentally planning the arch of the next chapter, and a few key words come to my mind. Then within a few minutes, I find those same words repeated elsewhere.

A few days ago a synchronicity occurred. I started to think about the throat chakra. And, important for this synchronicity, the throat chakra is traditionally symbolized by the color blue. As soon as my mind began to focus on the words "throat chakra," a noise on the TV caught my attention. The rest of the family was watching a movie called, "The Sorcerer's Apprentice." The noise drew me to a scene in which the evil sorcerer held a blue glowing wand to his apprentice's throat!

Ah yes, you may just call that coincidence, but in my world, I call it syncronicity. I like my world. When I follow the signs, they tend to show me good things.

One evening a month ago, I was focused on joy. It was taking a few days to draw a more detailed chapter outline, and I pulled out my runes, which I hadn't used for...a year? Runes are old celtic symbols, like rock or clay versions of tarot cards. The one rune I pulled was the symbol for joy. That wasn't the end, though. Later that day, the article I chose to read focused on joy. The headline didn't allude to joy, however. I had to read into the article before I discovered this focus.

Was my mind looking for the word joy? Probably. I believe in the red car theory. Decide you want to buy a red car, and suddenly you will notice the red cars all around you. However, I couldn't have known what that rune said before I pulled it from the bag. The headline of the article intrigued me, but the "joy" section could have just as easily used other words such as "happiness," "excitement," or "delight."

The sychronicities didn't provide me with chapter details to formulate. I had to do that on my own. Yet I believed it was a message that I was on the right path. What do I do with this information? I say "thank you." Nothing more, nothing less.

A synchronistic "message" isn't always pleasant. Yesterday I felt highly focused in my writing, and my intentions seemed clear and strong. I noticed the office window had dog-nose prints all over it and wished it was clean. Well, a delivery arrived at the door and my dog went crazy at the window, as he normally does. However, when I got back to the office, I noticed he had spit up ON the window! Disgusting, but my wish was granted, even if I was the one who had to do the work.

I have to be careful what I wish for.

Throughout these examples I have learned something important. When I am focused on something powerful and part of my life's purpose, AND when I put effort into it, the law of attraction goes into overdrive. Or at least the synchronicities (that tell me I am in the right place) come fast and furious.

When I don't feel this focused, life goes on. Many normal days disappear from memory. But focus is useful and powerful. Dedicated focus, when mind and body is absorbed in a challenging activity to create flow, seems to align everything around, as if the path becomes clearer and easier to walk.

And now I must return to my dedicated focus of writing.

What is life like when you focus on your purpose? How can you get there more often?

Honor 2010, Set Goals for 2011

2010-12-31T09:45:00.001-05:00

As 2010 concludes and a new year waits for us, our minds are naturally pulled into the past, and through to the future.

What did I accomplish this year? What do I hope to accomplish in the coming year?

Honor Your 2010 Accomplishments

Though the year may tread slowly, once you reach December 31st, twelve months seem so short. Slow the clock slightly by taking a moment to thank friends and family for being part of your life, for calling you when you needed to hear their voice, for helping you when you were stuck, by sharing laughter.

They were probably a part of your accomplishments too, for rarely is a goal reached without the help and support of friends and family.

Create Clear Goals for 2011

To kick off the coming year, set one goal in each area of your life: career, health & nutrition, love & relationships, mind & learning, and spirituality & values.

Goals are more effective when they are personalized and detailed. Think Specific, Measurable, Amplified, Resonance, Technique-driven, or SMART.

1. Specific - Visualize the details of your goal.
2. Measurable - Document the amount of time needed, the end date, or another quantity such as cost.
3. Amplified - Supercharge your goal. How can your passion ignite your drive to complete it? Push your goal until you feel a bit of fear, but not so much that it will paralyze you. That fear will tell you you've touched a nerve, allowing you to see your goal more clearly, and create energy to complete your goal.
4. Resonance - Is your goal significant to you? Does it feel right? If so, you've connected your goal to your core being or values. When you hit a bump in your path, this connection will help to keep you moving forward.
5. Technique-driven - This is the knowledge and/or research required to fulfill your goal. Which school best meets your needs? What contacts will help to reach your goal? What start-up costs are needed? These questions help to make your goal a reality.

As you honor 2010, and make plans for 2011, I wish you a year of amazement in your discoveries, accomplishments and happiness.

Namaste (The divine light in me honors the divine light in you, as we are truly one),
Leigh

How to Make a Career Transition to the Nonprofit World

2010-12-26T09:18:00.001-05:00

This article was first posted on the New England Job Show blog: http://nejs.org/2010/12/06/career-transition-how-to-make-a-career-transition-to-the-nonprofit-world/

By Leigh Harris

In the corporate world, many of us reach a point where we question financial success while sacrificing personal rewards. Jobs focused solely on money eventually lose appeal. We yearn to make a difference in the world.

Now is the time to bring talents to the nonprofit world.

Before sending out a stellar resume, however, it helps to know what a nonprofit organization expects in their hiring process.

How do you get hired in a nonprofit organization, and give more meaning to your 40 hour work week?

1. Rediscover your passions and values

What is important to you? What gets your heart pumping? Perhaps your child has asthma, and you lie awake some nights worrying about the last trip to emergency. Maybe you are successful in business because as a child you lived from paycheck to paycheck, your mother barely having enough food the last few dinners before payday. Perhaps you are passionate about sports, and understand the mental, health and physical benefits of an active lifestyle.

Write down your passions and values, and which organizations align with them. Ask friends and family what they know about local organizations, and select a few to conduct an information interview.

2. Match your skill set to their goals

When you dedicate your workday to a nonprofit, how will you help the organization meet its goals? Determine how you can offer your skill set to clearly and succinctly meet their objectives and strategic plan. Remember, it isn’t about you and your professional growth, though you will discover your intrinsic needs being met through this work. They want a sincere offer of help, with a professional approach.

Visit the organization’s website or local office. Read their annual reports, which should be publicly available. Understand their mission statement, objectives and goals. What peaks your interest? Dedicated volunteers usually include a board of directors. One of them may be able to give you a personal perspective of the organization. Another may be able to point to gaps in service or staffing positions.

Once you determine how your skill set meets their bottom line, you can approach this job prospect with their best interests in mind. Though this is an effective approach for corporations, it is the only approach for nonprofits.

3. Redesign your resume to highlight relevant unpaid experience

Do you intentionally leave off hobbies and interests in your current resume? While most corporate headhunters recommend this, in the nonprofit world your interests may align with the values of your target organization. Perhaps you volunteer for your child’s Boy Scout (or Girl Scout) camping trip. Your active focus on health and nutrition will benefit the asthma, cancer or sports organization you pursue.

If you actively volunteer or have a passionate interest in line with your target, ensure it is on your resume.

4. Prepare for your interview

Your interview is the key. In the corporate world, your interviewer wants your experience to effect change or assist current leaders with their vision. In the nonprofit world, they want the same and more. They want to hear your passion about their goals, and your intention to stick with them.

If you are at a crossroads in your career, and want to apply your talents to a greater cause, consider the benefits your experience will bring to a nonprofit organization.

About Leigh Harris

Leigh has been a career and personal development coach for 15 years, 5 years in nonprofit organizations. In her spare time she volunteers for nonprofits and in education.

Intentional Conscious Parenting: Appreciation Jars For Kids

2010-12-20T21:22:00.000-05:00

This idea is so simple, yet will create a permanent positive impression for a child. Fill the jar with things you love about your child and give it as a gift. See the details here:

Intentional Conscious Parenting: Appreciation Jars For Kids

Plan for the future so you can be present for the holidays

2010-12-10T08:35:00.002-05:00

Planning for the holidays can be all consuming, but it doesn’t have to drag you away from what is happening in the present moment. If the holiday meal is planned and written, the days prior will be more alive in your mind as you have time to stay present. At work, you can be intensely present at a meeting that is focused on next year’s budget, next month’s project or a future staffing change. The trick is to document your plan before the event or meeting.

As special holiday events approach, preparation is critical to enjoy each day more fully. Create a scheduled meeting time just for you. When you sit down to write your plan, allow your mind to wander forward to the time the event will occur. Then when you get together with others for celebration or further preparation, your mind doesn't need to jump forward anymore. It has done that work. Instead it will remain present to enjoy your current activities. And if you follow this idea at work, you will be more involved in the discussion.

Another benefit? The memories of your special event will remain more vivid in your mind. Did you know your memory relies on where your mind is? If it is constantly distracted by unfinished planning, jumping to future or into the past, it won’t be present enough to remember key moments. Time will literally pass you by, while you are somewhere else (at least in your mind).

So give yourself a gift. There is time to plan; There are moments to enjoy. Keep them separate.

TSA X-Ray Backscatter Body Scanner: Not Enough Safety Research

2010-12-09T10:48:00.000-05:00

This blog was written by Jason Bell, a molecular biologist and biophysicist. He is currently a Ph.D. candidate in Steve Kowalczykowski's lab at the University of California, Davis.

His review of the TSA scanner raises concerns. He says, "I fear that inadequate safety evaluation of these machines could unduly expose my family (and myself) to levels of radiation that might be harmful should this high familial cancer rate in fact be hereditary."

Read more:

Review of the TSA X-Ray Backscatter Body Scanner: Hide Your Kids! Hide your Wife!