Whew! If Only All Fear Could be Fixed This Quickly

A couple days ago I posted a blog about my neighbor.

The conversation I had with my neighbor started off ok, then turned negative, then full of fear. I primally reacted and bolted down the street.

Yesterday I saw her at our childrens' school, while sitting in my car. My first reaction was anxiety, but I took a deep breath and gave her a smile and a hello.

She came right up to the car and apologized about the prior conversation. "I'm sorry Leigh. I think I scared you."

"Yes you did. I tend to react to fear and negativity and that was too much." I responded.

She said she knows she overreacted, that she knows she's too protective, she watches too many shows like "America's Most Wanted," and she's sorry she caused me any distress.

As she left I breathed a sigh of relief. I don't like confrontations, but I know how important it is to be open, to solve issues, to get past incidents.

We're past it. It is now up to me to let it go completely, so that it doesn't color our next conversation.

After all, we're really all one. Energy swirls around us and interacts, affecting each of us, for good or for bad. It is up to every one of us to build the positive, let go of the negative.

Negative energy from a neighbor

I'm upset.

There is a neighbor on our street that seems to find the negative in everything, and she holds on to negative events for months and months. So I hear about the broken mailbox over and over, and I hear about what the town does wrong. However, deep down she seems to be a sweet lady, simply troubled by events in her life. So I listen. I know I have the patience to listen and sometimes she offers me gems of information that helps me, a newcomer to the neighborhood.

This time, however, I should have stopped our chat sooner.

The conversation turned to the kids playing on the street. She could't believe that the parents (of which she acknowledged I am one) are not right out on the street watching them. "They are alone on the street," she says. "The neighborhood is dangerous, all neighborhoods are dangerous."

As she's speaking I can feel my back stiffen. I know it is because she is accusing me of poor parenting, though I also know our quiet, beautiful cul-de-sac has plenty of neighbor activity and I DO watch my children, though sometimes from inside. I try to let it go, ignore her comment and rally my confidence in my own parenting choices.

I say, "I disagree. I think this is a safe neighborhood, and my children know the rules and how to behave around strangers."

"But we need to have safe practices, all the time."

I defend, "we teach our children what is safe and what is not safe."

But then she says, "a strange van could go in your driveway and knock on your door. A man could come up to one of your kids and ask them to look for his lost puppy."

I interrupted, "my children know how to handle that exact situation! But I don't really want to continue this conversation." Feeling more defensive, still protective of my parenting skills, and now feeling protective of my own children.

She pushes back, "but he could have a cloth with chloriform and could shove it in their faces!"

Ooooohhhhh!!!! And with defensiveness, anxiety and now crazy fear that there is a minute chance that this could happen in an otherwise safe world, I stomped away and shouted back to her, "That is NOT GOING to HAPPEN HERE! We are in a SAFE neighborhood!"

As I walk away I am surprised I'm almost in tears. I know I feel her fear, literally feel it, and I haven't protected myself enough. For a split second the world is an evil place full of bad people, but I shut it down quickly and notice the beauty in our neighborhood, trying to regain composure.

Knowing this negative energy was now physically invading my body, I had to escape fast. I usually ground myself sufficiently to prepare for a chat with her, and I always listen for the positive, but I didn't do enough this time.

Walking into my house my throat felt raw (my throat always expresses my stress). I made myself some tea.

Maybe I overreacted? I hope not. We chose this neighborhood less than a year ago, after much research, for our children.

Damn the Rejections, Full Speed Ahead, by Maralys Wills

Like a great novel, I didn't want this book to end. As entertaining as it is instructive, I found myself reading "Damn the Rejections, Full Speed Ahead: The Bumpy Road to Getting Published," over breakfast, squeezed in before dinner, and late at night. It didn't want to put it down.
She drew me into her story and soon I found myself wondering what was going to happen next, only later jotting down notes to remember for my own writing.
With a dozen books published, she authentically provides the advice writers need. Fiction writers will discover tangible, work-ready ideas. Non-fiction writers will find constructive guidance throughout, including plot ideas. Reading this non-fiction book filled with interesting anecdotes and a mildly suspenseful cadence provides a real life example of how to entertain and inform at the same time.
Her book doesn't gloss over the difficulties (137 submissions before one of her books was sold!), but describes the persistence and focus all writers require, as well as specific techniques that will polish a manuscript until it gleams.
Perhaps it reads like fiction because Maralys Wills has authored numerous fiction books. Though I bought her book to help with my non-fiction writing, she had me wondering if my next book could be fiction! She provides specific, useful advice on critical areas such as plot, character, finding ideas, research, and selling a manuscript or book idea. She provides advice with depth.
One of her books was especially close to her heart, and she used its "bumpy road to getting published" as a core example throughout this book. At times I wanted to reach out to her and listen as she poured out her sadness or her excitement. She had me living this roller coaster life with her.
Perhaps because she drew me into her tale, I felt present with her, as if I were one of her students in class. I absorbed her advice like a sponge and instantly found the mistakes in my own writing, as if she were critiquing my work in person. Beyond the classroom, I find myself still living with the characters in my head, wondering what they are going to do next.
A good novel does that – leaves you wanting more. In this case, the main character is the author herself, and there is only one way to keep this book alive: to apply Maralys Wills’ advice from “Damn the Rejections, Full Speed Ahead.”

http://www.maralys.com/

Clearing Clutter, by Claire Amber

Spring is time to open our houses to the outdoors, bring in freshness, clear cobwebs and get rid of winter accumulation. Clair Amber writes a great article on clearing clutter.

Read her article here.

Claire Amber, aka “the feng shui fairy”, is a feng shui consultant, writer and green business advocate. She can be found on twitter and facebook. Visit her web-site at www.thefengshuifairy.com.