Shells, Like Life

Shells have always fascinated me. I know I'm not the only one. Shells have a mystical beauty to them, with perfect lines, neverending swirls, and pastel colors.

In my holiday trip to Florida in December we visited Fort Myers Beach. I was amazed at the number of perfect shells littering the high tide line, like a sparkling point of no return. I was a child again, excitedly picking up overflowing handfuls of perfect shells, looking for a bag or container in our belongings so that I could go back to get more.

My son joined me for a while, and my daughter, but the icing sugar sand intrigued them more. The sand was perfect sand castle texture and they were determined to dig deep enough and build high enough around them to become part of the beachscape.

But the beauty that the ocean left behind on it's daily retreat, drawn by the moon, was entrancing. Perfectly curved creamy lemon and orange shells, some with dark purple or iridescent insides, lined our walk.

I continued to wander up and down the tide line with our dog. He sniffed as we walked along, and perked his ears forward at every dry piece of seaweed that moved in the breeze. "Shadow, they aren't alive." I'd whisper.

Then I wondered, why were there so many shells? Did something happen to the tiny creatures that once inhabited these beautiful homes? The obvious answer, yes, was replaced with wondering if something unnatural happened in their living habitat. As the rented power boats created a constant hum this side of the horizon, I wondered if humans had been careless enough to affect the ecosystem of the shells on this shore.

I tried to shake those negative thoughts. I was determined to find a way to display my collection to honor nature's beauty. I was also careful to ensure I was allowed to bring them home.

Shells are a symbol for all things living. They start their life as a tiny being, then radiate out in perfect uniformity, growing and expanding. As they grow, the beginning point becomes stronger. When we as humans grow, internally we become stronger.

The nautilus shell, the one that spirals round and round, has been examined in mathematics, engineering and metaphysics. The mathematical Fibonacci sequence (adding each number together to get the next number) is also seen in the spiral of the shell.

As I examine these perfect shells, their graceful forms, their calm colors, I decide that I can honor their beauty through my life. I can reach for more grace and calm, and with childlike attention, notice the moments of living perfection before me. As the spiral of my life continues to grow, and I become stronger internally, I hope to reflect the beauty of the shell.

And so that those shells are always there for others to see, I must choose my steps carefully, aware of my effect on nature and those around me, so that we do not reach a point of no return.

2010 Child Raising Solutions

Ok, I realize I asked too much in my November blog: Child Raising Solutions. There, I asked you to write solutions YOU use when solving child-rearing concerns.

Instead, here are a few solutions I've learned from some wonderful moms, and try to incorporate at home:

1. When one child has a playdate, arrange for same with the other(s).

2. Feed them before they're hungry - put carrots and grapes on the table before they ask.

3. Keep snacks in the glove compartment - a few granola bars or bags of peanuts or pretzels.

4. When they resist doing something, do it with them.

5. Decide if the result or the learning is more important to you, and stick with it. If you want them to learn how to clean, accept that it won't be done perfectly. If you want their room perfectly clean, get in there and help them.

6. Let them stay up late once in a while, especially if you are visiting with other families and you are having as much fun as your children.

7. Keep to routines as much as possible, where your child wants it kept. My son wants a book each night. If we watch a movie instead, I give him advance notice that it will be too late for a book. Only then is he ok with missing reading time.

8. If you start to feel upset or frustrated, try silence or a hug first. Especially if your child's behavior is causing your upset. After all, it is the behavior you want to change, not your child. So give your child a hug, then change their behavior.

9. When you feel happy, give hugs. Don't miss the opportunity for physical contact. Children need it, and flourish with lots of hugs.

10. Tell your child why they are important to you, and tell them out loud what wonderful qualities they have.

Many of these tips have been gems to me, and come from wonderful parents I know. I like to think I'm a better parent because of them. I hope these tips give you some new solutions or reminds you of old ones. Thanks sis, Christie, and other friends!

Early December highlights

December was a whirlwind of activity, as usual, and January 2010 shows no signs of slowing down. Before I know it I will be at the writer's conference in San Diego in February.

But for now I reflect back on the first half of December:

I am still impressed with the way autumn organizes itself in the US. With Thanksgiving at the end of November, the holiday season seems to launch into full celebration and last for a month. This year we decorated our tree before December 1st, and it didn't seem early, like it used to when we lived in Canada. The children loved plugging in the tree each day, and unwrap the little decorations on our wall advent calendar, lovingly made by Grandma. We experienced a relaxed, but busy first couple weeks as we prepared for the holidays without the last minute stress that I've felt some other years.

In Canada, where I lived until 2.5 years ago, Thanksgiving is in October, before Halloween, so is it's own event. It signalled the cooling of autumn and brought family together after a hectic start to school. Thanksgiving in Canada is something to look forward to each fall, but I admit I'm partial to the timing of the US Thanksgiving, which kicks off the winter holiday season.

The US Thanksgiving weekend has holiday sales before Christmas. In Canada, boxing day sales are the day after Christmas. Thanksgiving weekend seems to bring the chill of winter as well, so wrapping recently purchased gifts under the glittering lights of the tree seem to be a good excuse to stay inside during early December. This creates a less hectic holiday preparation than starting mid way through December, as I sometimes had the habit to do.

Starting holidays early seems to make time without family easier as well. When we moved from Canada we left all our close family and lifelong friends. We love the move we made, but we also miss seeing those we left. This is our third winter away from "home." However, creating early celebrations in our new cities means we could celebrate with our new friends and enjoy our time with them, before returning home for Christmas.

For the past three years, I purchased and wrapped before we left our new home so that we could spend all our time visiting others once we arrived to see our family. The US Thanksgiving is like a little alarm clock. Time to buy, wrap, bake and send cards! With this, plus visiting with new friends during the first half of December, we extended our holidays and reduced our busy holiday stress.

We still miss seeing old friends and our family during the year, but having a full month of celebration with more people we know is a nice new tradition worth repeating!